Audio: First test - David Berner’s blog

I have finally found a piece of software that looks like it will do the trick for posting audio blog monologues. That's the good news.

The goofy news is I haven't quite figured out exactly how to use it. Keep in mind that I am a complete geek, with hands as soft as a baby's bottom.

So, patience, bloggists, patience.

Soon, I promise. We're closer...really...

Honor Among Thieves

Two local stories collide.

Basi, Virk and others are finally going to court after a police raid on the Provincial legislature MORE THAN 3 YEARS AGO. Whatever happened to "Justice delayed is justice denied?"

We still don't really know what all of this is about, although drug smuggling and drug sales seem to be involved, as does the sale of BC Rail to Canadian National.

Many have already been charged with various crimes around this story, and, although one or two actually have served some jail time, there is a litany of stayed, stayed, conditional sentence and more conditional sentences.

Down the road a piece, Poco mayor, Scott Young, is in trouble with the law again. He seems to have an anger management problem when it comes to intimate relationships. When asked by The Sun their feelings about their mayor being arrested - again - Poco citizens were marvelously forgiving. They offered the Canadian shrug. "Look at Premier Campbell, drunk driving, I don't think that's such a major issue."

Whatever happened to falling on your sword. You've disgraced your public office, you apologize ans step down.

Not in this era. Not when I am always right and I can never do wrong, because I am me and this is my movie and we can always spin this story in my favor.

Not when trials take 3 or 4 years and cases can't be won.

lou rawls northseajazzfestival 1992

Check out this hot, hot cut of the master live at the NorthSea jazz festival. We saw Lou in the main room at the Fairmont in San Fransisco in the 70's. There was one black couple in the audience, which mostly looked and acted like a mural. Staring incomprehensively at this guy on stage. Nevertheless, he killed.
He is the man who revolutionized the singing of the American national Anthem. It happened at a 49ers football game and he blew everyone's mind by turning the song into a very black and blue blues.
He aslo raised millions of dollars for the United Negro College Fund.
A great Citizen and such a rich singer.

Your Art, My Art

The Vancouver Art Gallery has lizards and other strange small creatures on display today. It is part of a new "installation."

I have some advice for you, Art Lovers. As soon as you hear the word, "installation," get on your palimino and head off in the opposite direction as fast as those 4 legs'll carry you.

Installations and video works are among the greatest hoaxes of the modern art world.

I remember vividly wandering through the wondrous halls of the San Fransisco Museum of Modern Art a few years ago. Much on display was wonderful. Then I entered a very large room where a crowd of people were encircling something.

I muscled my way into the inner layers of the crowd and this is what I found.

Hundreds of stuffed toy poodle dogs, black and standing about knee high, were arranged in dozens of concentric circles, all focused on a $5 toy baby doll lying on its back in the centre of the circle.

The people were silent. They were giving serious consideration to this drek.

I started to laugh. Then I howled. Then I said something real friendly, like, "You folks are idiots," and I moved on to the next room.

What the art galleries of the world need these days is more living creatures. Not lizards and spiders, but curators and administrators who can tell the difference between exciting new art and lazy, conceptual put-ons.

When it comes to Art, with a very big A, the emperor has no clothes.

O'Reilley Hates Immigrants

Like all scoundrels who hide behind the flags of patriotism, Fox News cretin, Bill O'Reilly, got into the most unattractive shouting match with Geraldo the other night. Aside from ignoring at his own peril Marshall McLuhan's famous dictum that "Radio is hot, TV is cool," O'Reilly wonderfully revealed what a tiny hate-monger and threatened dweeb he truly is.

Check it out in full color here.

And while you're at it, click on the story on the same link page about McCain's "Jew Counter." I tell you, America is just one big Love Fest.

Rollover, Beethoven

All new cars will have systems installed by 2012 that will prevent rollovers, which result in thousands of deaths each year.

Many SUV's already have this inexpensive technology on board.

That's the good news.

The bad news comes from these 2 questions:

1. If the technology has been around for a while and it costs under $150 per unit, why hasn't it been installed years ago, and why wait until 2012? Put the sucker in tomorrow.

2. Does this just mean that SUV fools will feel emboldened to drive even faster in the ice and snow on the Whistler highway, now that they believe they can't possibly tip ooooooooooover?

Best New Business Name This Year

A friend of a friend with some internal problem is attending - and we are not kidding, we are not inventing this - the following office:

UPPER CANADA LOWER BOWEL CLINIC