Joe Boxer Rebutt

Do the Right Thing, Mr. Harper

Omar Khadr may or may not be a murder, a terrorist, and a sonofabitch who is mean to babies and dogs.

But what is the point of fighting and winning wars and skirmishes in the name of fairy-tale notions like democracy and freedom and justice if we abandon all such in the execution of the battle?

Now, the Supreme Court of Canada has clearly and cleanly thrown down the gauntlet to the Harper government, challenging Canada to bring Khadar back from the legal and moral black hole of Guantanamo Bay.

In a 9-0 ruling, the court effectively dared the Harper government to ignore its finding that Canada and the United States are violating Mr. Khadr's right to life, liberty and security under the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

A government is expected to take action when the court rules it has violated some one's rights.

This is not a question of being kind to criminals.

It's all about the principle, stupid.

Dream Final?

Sunday's men's final down under may present for the first time in living memory the prospect of two real court artists facing each other in a battle of speed and touch and sublime shot-making.

It's true that there have been many great and memorable moments in Grand Slam finals through the years.

When I first got hooked on the game, the rivalry of Borg and McEnroe was something special to behold. The Slugger and the Wizard. Borg was driving shot after shot as straight arrows while Johnny Mac was dipping and diving and massaging shots at hadn't previously been imagined.

But now...

Now, suddenly, we have Roger Federer and Andy Murray, the two deftest players in the game today. They are both faster than any two or three other players put together. They both can serve and volley as well as Stephan Edberg did in his prime and they both have hands apparently made of butter. In one instance in yesterday's victory over Milan Cilic, Murray actually looked exactly like McEnroe on a touch volley four feet from the net. He barely bent his knees at all (as we are all yelled at to do by our teachers), simply dropped his racquet to the floor and let the ball ping up and across the net for a sure winner. Pure McEnroe.

This may or may not be a great final. But it should be.

If both men can forget their nerves and fight like the dogs that they truly are, if Murray can get past his intimidation by Federer, if Fed can push past his own too-often too-cool and growl, we may have one of the best face-offs in a long, long time.

Who will win?

Search me.

Federer, the number one player in the world and the holder of more singles slams than anyone else in history has played flowing flawless tennis these past two weeks in Melbourne. He'll be the favorite.

But make no mistake.

Andy Murray is primed to take this one. He could do it.

Let's get serious. Super Bowl 44 isn't until next week, no one will be watching the strangley timed Pro Bowl, and this choice tennis match may be one for the ages.

Which Way is Up?

The war is ending...

But first, we will have to rejoice in killing many, many more bad guys.

Uhuh.

This was the morning take on Afghanistan.

The Taliban are joining i n the peace talks...

And we're getting ready for a big new offensive against the Taliban.

O.K.

I'm naive and stupid when it comes to little things like war and international diplomacy.

This is probably how the real world works.

But is it OK if I stay confused and bewildered?

Sorry is the Cheapest Word

I have friends who are police.

I like the police.

I am getting tired of watching the police disgrace themselves.

Here are two headlines from this morning's press:

Man beaten by Vancouver police to sue

Second Surrey Six Mountie investigated

The two stories are unrelated in specifics, but they are united by an unhappy common theme - police are straining our necessary sense of trust and good will in their motives and behaviour on and off the job.

I appreciate that police are human and like me and you they make mistakes every single day.

I appreciate that as police you are often, more often than not, dealing with garbage and crap.

Probably it could be safely argued that your job is tougher than many other employments.

O.K.

But please...let's get you out of these kind of headlines.

By the way, in the first case quoted...mistaken identity. Oops, we're sorry may not cut it.

When Will We Learn? When Will We Care?

Terry Naugle of Nova Scotia was convicted of drunk driving in 1978, 1980, 1981, 1984, 1988, 1989, 1989 again, 1990, 1991, 1993, 1995, 1997, 1999, 2000, 2002, 2006 and, most recently, 2009. He never received a lifetime driving ban, at least until the 2009 charges, for which he is being sentenced next month.

Above is the first shocking paragraph of an editorial in yesterday's Globe.

Apparently, we continue to believe that driving a car is some god-given right in this country and no matter how dangerous and demented our behaviour, we may do so ad naseum.

Apparently, we continue to believe in this country that drinking booze badly is just an amusing side-bar to real life and it is to be chuckled at while we have another.

Apparently, we have no balls, no values and no political will to get real on this subject.

J.D. Salinger

"If you really want to hear about it..."

One year I traipsed around the winter campus of the University of Manitoba in my tweed great coat. I called it my Holden Caulfield.

"The Catcher in the Rye" is and was and probably will continue to be a monumental success in so many ways - as a piece of literature, a publishing gold mine and a mysteriously alluring cultural icon.

Today when students from other countries ask me what book they should read, I buy them a copy of "Catcher."

Is there a course at any school in North America that doesn't have this slender volume on its required reading list.

A few more books and short stories and then the famous retreat.

Hidden in the woods somewhere in New England, J.D. Salinger became even more famous and more sought-after.

Here is the N.Y. Times obit.

What's Your Sine?

Subject: Teacher Arrested

A teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'"Al-Gebra is a problem for us," the Attorney General said. "They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.." They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President. It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow.

Victor Has Room to be Peeved

I'll try to be brief.

I do contract work for Aboriginals. As part of this, I often bring
some of them to Vancouver for discussions. Many don't have credit
cards so they can't reserve hotels. No problem. I put their rooms on
my personal credit card and the Federal government pays me after. I
don't charge the Feds for this credit service. I've been doing this
for 9 years. But each time I book a room for a Native , the hotel
requires me to send a photocopy of my credit card, front and back, via
fax. These are hotels where I've done this umpteen times. No fax, no
room. If I offer to read my credit card number over the phone , the
hotel ( I could name a dozen in Vancouver) says that I could be
anybody. Ditto for trying to do it on-line. Like I said, 9 years.

So, as Desi would ask " splain this". I travel a lot. I can give my
credit card number to the reservation person in Toronto and arrive
with the assurance that my room will be waiting. I can book a plane
to Dubai on line with my card and swan up to the desk at the airport
with total assurance. Why, if I am trying to do this for somebody
else, does the hotel require a fax with photocopies of my card and
signatures WHICH ANY DRUNK IN THE LOBBY COULD STEAL?

Is it because the people are Natives? What is the risk. You can't
steal a goddamn room and sneak it past the concierge.

The hotels tell me they are only trying to protect me. From what? I
always send a signed fax stipulating that my card will only cover one
room for one night. If I have paid in advance, why do they give a shit
about who actually sleeps in the bed? They're covered for Chrissakes?

Ok. I'm done.

International Holocaust Remembrance Day 2010

Techo-Warp

Technology!

I recorded and thought that I uploaded almost 5 minutes.

What you get below is only 2:12.

Go explain.

What should follow should be obvious.

The message is that evil such as this cannot be forgotten. Nor is it to be forgiven.

It is to be clearly and painfully remembered.

Do not denigrate words by calling a local politician a "Hitler."

Hitler was unique.

There is evil before and after him, but no one like him.

And the ordinary citizens who helped him carry out his mad plans are you and me.

The Holocaust calls for vigilance and remembrance.

Eye Opener

David;

My wife's employer is shutting down the office for two weeks during the Olympic event because customers are afraid to drive to town; afraid to find parking and are now canceling appointments en mass.

This means the practice will be closed and the 6 employees including the owner will not be paid wages, yet rent is still due and bills must be paid.


This means our family will not have holidays this year, nor will we be able to afford such niceties as swimming lessons for the children.

Our family are not the only ones affected.

So when those many politicians take taxpayer paid for tickets to watch a taxpayer paid for event, think of the thousands of taxpayers who have been negatively affected by the games.

Does VANOC have a conscience at all; does Furlong give a damn? Does Gordo?

Olympic Update

1) Of course, many cities and municipalities are spending tax dollars on tickets for their councillors, employees, friends and family members.

Of course, this is wrong.

Read the story here.

2) Don't know how to smile?

No problem.

Vancouver has produced a 128-page etiquette guide.

Hahahahaha...

The world's coldest, most unfriendly city is going to huggy-bear, kissy-face up overnight with a Warmth for Dummies manual.

Hahahaha...

Someone worked for months on this idiocy.

Someone paid for it.

You!

On Monday, I smiled at a woman who was standing on a corner in my neighbourhood and daringly said, "Good morning."

She glared at me, as she was obviously assaulted by an unsolicited greeting.

Look it up in the criminal code.

Violation 32B11-14.

I added as I passed, "I am truly sorry for saying good morning."

She probably wrote the guide.

3) A friend told me yesterday that she knows someone who is being paid by VANOC to be a sort of traffic cop in BC Place.

Ready for the wage?

$45/hour.

Yes, that's correct.

$45/hour.

Multiply that by a few zillion employees and you'll begin to understand why the Games are so expensive.

The amateur sporting games.

Oh, there is more.

Just because BC Place isn't quite ready for the throngs just yet, don't think that our friend's friend is not being paid.

She is.

She is now being paid $45/hr. to stand by.

4) And finally, the good news.

A friend has forwarded the following:

See below for a list of free or low cost events and exciting venues to check out.

LiveCity Yaletown LiveCity Downtown Richmond's Ozone Canada Pavilion "Streets to Watch" Granville Island "French Quarter" Bombardier Streetcar Heineken House (Richmond) Alberta House Saskatchewan Pavilion Ontario Pavilion Atlantic Canada House Laser Waterworks Show Nightly Medal Ceremony Vectorial Elevation

Robson Square/GE Plaza Bell Ice Cube Vancouver Art Gallery Four Host Nations Pavilion Sochi House Vancouver City Hall Surrey 2010 Celebration Olympic Torch Relay West Vancouver Spirit Square Quebec House CentrePlace Manitoba New Westminster (Keep the Dream Alive) Abbotsford Live Site Canada Line BC Hydro Power Smart Village

Contributors

I cannot find the photo on the Globe's website.

Thus, all I can do is report what I saw this morning.

On page S3 in the Globe BC section, the paper is carrying a story about how Vancouver police will not be rushing to arrest too many people for smoking marijuana during the famous Games.

O.K.

But was it truly necessary to run a half-page photo of someone smoking a joint?

No doubt this is highly amusing and knowing for everyone.

It is also irresponsible and destructive.

Ha ha ...pot is so cute, so benign, so acceptable.

Heck for many it is a cause and a life's devotion and they are seen as cultural heroes.

This half-page photo is simply a small and thoughtless part of the whole ugly drug story.

Dodge City

Poetic irony.

Who knew that drug smugglers had such a deep literary understanding and sophisticated taste. Maybe they all hail from Burnham Wood?

Some geniuses just sent a tombstone from Iran to Vancouver.

The stone was hollow and it contained many, many kilos of opium.

They fools were caught.

Not to worry.

Their lawyers will get them off on a technicality and they will be awarded a national Comedy prize.

Acquisitions & Mergers

Warren Buffet, eat your heart out.

I've just bought Saab and I'm bringing the whole operation to Burquitlam.

There are 12,000 jobs up for grabs and if you're a former bureaucrat or Cambodian refugee, come see me.

So many of my friends and family have asked me, "But why, Dave?" "Why, Dad?"

Simple.

I like a car company with feeling built right into the name.

"Hey, Dave, what's your ride these days?"

"Thanks for asking, Buddy. It's...it's...huh, ah huh, ah huh, oh...it's just Saaaaaaaaaaab."

Pet Peeve Day

A reader has asked that I designate the odd day - and certainly this day qualifies - as "Pet Peeve Day."

O.K.

Send me your pet peeves, please.

I would love to get the ball rolling and set a good example.

But it's impossible for me to name a pet peeve, other than I am peeved by other people's pets.

You see, I am a cantankerous, grouchy old jerk, who is irritated by practically everything.

My favorite quote comes from Jean Paul Sarte.

"L'enfer, c'est les autres."

Hell is other people.

Almost everything and everybody annoys the beetlejuice out of me.

Especially young people and drivers and government and book agents and my best friends, who are consistently maddening.

Now...

That doesn't mean that I'm not great coffee company or a barrel of laughs.

Just don't be late or comment on my clothes or take a call on your effing blackberry or tell me that in addictions we need a "continuum of treatment."

And while you're at it, ask that 11-year old girl who invented coffee if we can have some more brown sugar over here at this table by the drafty door.

Ggrrrhhhhhhhh...

Smile!

And the point of this moment is...?

Fighter Jets to fly over Lower Mainland this week

No kidding.

Yesterday, I was strolling in the 'hood and suddenly I thought I was in a Bruce Willis movie.

See this baby?

He was following me around.

Or so I felt.

Or imagined.

I do have an elevated sense of my own importance, I know, but really, kids!

Enjoy life in Gamesistan.

New...and Very Good