Gone Fishin'

Off to the Islands for a few days.

Back at Blog Central Command Saturday morning.

Best wishes and knishes,

D.

Smile!

Question.

To your knowledge or from your own direct personal experience, has one terrorist or even some buggy pain-in-the-ass been removed from an airport security line and detained or arrested?

Ever?

Anywhere?

I don't resent airport security.

I'm not in such a GD hurry.

I take the attitude that air travel, far from the occasional pleasure it once was, has been for many years now a nightmare.

You resign yourself to long waits at both ends of the trip and the claustrophobic gagging of being captive in a flying cigar tube for 9 or 10 hours with people you hope won't come anywhere near you.

What's another 15 minutes and low level radiation?

Hell, a skin search, a frisk?

That could be the second most fun I've had in weeks!

But, as Margaret Wente scribbles in her column this morning, airport security is not much more than "a show designed to make people feel better."

Ever since Mr. Exploding Jockeys was shlepped off that flight to Detroit, anybody who knows anything has argued - to no avail - that the money should be put into more and better intelligence work.

Who is studying mayhem where?

Who is paying? Who's running the camp in the woods?

Why wasn't Mr. Muslim BlowUpPants taken off the streets months ago?

I have a few air excursions on tap in the coming weeks.

If I can be promised the full body scan, I think I'll wear my most provocative undies and smile seductively.

Says it All

HELP IS ON THE WAY

You think our drug addict policies are nuts?

You're right.

But not to be outdumbed, New York City has hit the insanity jackpot.

The city spent $32,000 on 70,000 fliers that tell you how to shoot heroin, complete with detailed tips on prepping the dope and injecting it into your arm.

Read the entire mind-boggling story here.

No doubt, some genius in Vancouver or Victoria health circles is now preparing our versions.

A small point.

One of the things that I love about this otherwise infuriating article was that the writer kept referring to addicts as "dope fiends."

I refer to addicts as "dope fiends."

But I am regularly chastised for this by the chronically PC.

I dunno.

Simple me. Some things seem simple.

Dope fiends shoot dope.

Doesn't mean we have to give them instruction sheets.

Bang! Bang! You're Hitting from the Paint, Bro!

“We're grown men. We protect our families. We protect our homes.”

Who is this?

Some farmer in the Transvaal?

A cocoa grower in Uruguay?

Nah.

That's the voice of New York Knicks guard Larry Hughes.

He is speaking about the at least 85% of NBA players who are packin'.

He is also speaking about Washington Wizards star Gilbert Arenas, who brought four of his favorite guns from home and stuffed them in his locker, only to pull them out the other day and point them at people for a joke. That's Gilbert over to the right.

Oh, I forgot.

America isn't a gun culture.

They are ten times bigger than us and therefore they have ten times as many gun "incidents."

Right.

Guns are an embedded and accepted part of American life in the same way that cars and chewing gum and Big Macs are.

Canada, so far, is different.

Thank goodness.

Laura Marling

She's from England and she's all of about 18 years old.

Check her out.

She's good...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNxar07_9YA

Come Home

Five more dead and one question: Can the Afghan mission be saved?

So asks John Ibbitson in a column on the front page of this morning's Globe.

More specifically he asks, " Is the Kandahar commitment turning into a failure, or can it still be rescued?"

My answer is Yes and No.

Yes, it is a failure and No it cannot be rescued.

And please do not confuse honoring the dead with questioning the assignment.

One hundred and forty Canadians have died now on this mission and the latest deaths of four soldiers and a journalist are dreadful.

No doubt there have been a few small triumphs on the ground in Afghanistan. No doubt, the Canadian forces have become clearer and stronger.

But this engagement has been doomed from the beginning.

If, in fact, we are to leave next year, it can't be soon enough.

Graceless

Finding her beneath contempt or worthy of any attention whatsoever, I have never before commented on Nancy Grace.

Perhaps you have been spared the knowledge of this harridan.

Nancy Grace is a news anchor or plays a news anchor or is imitating a news anchor on Headline News, which shows up on channel 37 in the local cable market.

I believe she is a lawyer or was a lawyer before she became the TV arbiter of all things justice.

Night after night, Grace covers the same identical story with revolving players.

A child has been murdered/abducted/ raped.

The child is inevitably a sweet blond-haired girl, named Poppsy or Floppsy or Moppsie.

There are always grieving friends/relatives/parents.

There are always accused/suspect friends/relatives/parents.

There are always police and private investigators and correspondents or people posing as correspondents.

It's a kind of National Enquirer horror show for the chronically disengaged.

No doubt, Grace has a huge audience.

I always see Nancy Grace for about 20 seconds as I cruise through the channels.

Last night I lingered for almost 90 seconds.

That was all I could bear.

Here was her story for the night, complete with reports from the field.

Tiger Woods had one of his bimbos in his California house the night his beloved father died. He left the house to go over to the place where his father was dying. He came back and had sex with his paramour and then received the phone call that his father had died.

And like that.

This is really beyond the pale.

Leave us set aside for just a moment what you or I or the farmer next door may think of Tiger Woods.

How invasive can a cheesy broadcaster be exactly?

No wonder the poor slob is hiding out.

Why is this Grace person on the air?

Why is this kind of unsubstantiated attack allowed by the owners of this "service" to be sent out for public consumption?

This is the worst and most destructive kind of rumour-mongering.

And it poses as journalism.

Please do not write me and tell me about Tiger.

Tiger is not the point, and you and I don't know a damn thing about Tiger.

The point is how some places in journalism have become outhouses.

This woman makes Montel and Jerry Springer look like Cardinals in Rome.

Passing Tax

Cambie Street all over again.

In his rush to win over the leather saddle crowd, the Green Mayor has basically destroyed a long-standing Vancouver business...ironically enough, a green business.

Wim Van der Zalm has been operating a very large and very good plant store on Hornby Street just below Pacific for a great many years now.

The store has done quite well thank you very much.

That is, until the famous Burrard Street Bike Lane Waste-of-Time-and-Money.

Now, you cannot make a right turn off Pacific and down the hill to Beach Avenue.

Which means that Wim's store no longer has traffic.

Which means he's going broke at this location and will probably have to close.

Did Gregor make allowances for this destruction of local business?

Is he compensating Van der Zalm?

Has he ever heard of the Law of Unintended Consequences?

No, no, and no.

One little mom-and-pop shop is merely collateral damage in the war of political correctness and pedal power.

Roll on, Big Wheel.

Attack

Political cartoonists are journalists.

They comment on the passing scene, often with greater force and clarity than all the writers combined.

To see a cartoonist being marked for murder is sickening, but that is exactly what happened last night in Copenhagen.

It is sickening because such an assault strikes directly at the core of democratic freedoms.

The cartoonist, a 75-year old man, hid with his grandson in a "safe room," and the police arrived and shot the assailant several times. The man is In custody and in hospital.

Kurt Westergaard was targeted because of his images of the Prophet Mohammed.

Happy New Year

My New Year's wishes include:

Good robust health and great fortune for you all.

May there be coin in your jeans, red blood in your veins and some love, affection and laughter in your home.

May all the harm seduction and other terrorists sink slowly into the ocean or the sunset and leave the rest of us in peace.

May all the addicts and alcoholics and others who are cleaning up and sobering up continue on their courageous paths to citizenship.

May their organizations be funded.

May some government somewhere in Canada listen to the people who have elected them.

May Canadians learn to say, "Hello" as they pass on the street.

May the Year of the Laser begin and invasive surgeries be sent to the scrap heap.

You go into the doc's office with chest pains, he laughs, tells you to sit very still and zaps you with a hand held device. The plaque is gone and you're back on the tennis court.

May Barack Obama surprise many of us and prove to be one of the greatest Presidents in history. May his wisdom catch up to his oratory.

May cyclists, motorists and pedestrians in Vancouver call it a Draw and learn to get along. May the Civil Society just be, but never become a public policy.

May we all return to our bridge games and plays and violins and goats and trucks and whatever wholesome activities that occupy us once more with some small sense of good will and accomplishment, and, yes, even pleasure.

Cheers!

Dick Tater

Hi Kids.

My name is Dick Tater.

I'm the president and CEO of a really big vacant lot called Canada.

I used to be called Steve, but that handle just didn't cut it.

Lately, the court jesters have really been putting me off.

They want to see if we're being mean to prisoners in the castle dungeons and such.

Come on, Man! There effing prisoners!

And the Chamber of Cardinals - well, we call it here The Senate, just for show, you know - well, the Chamber had a few too many suspicious characters in it.

So what with all this messy fuss and folks wanting to talk - they gussy it up be calling it "debate the issues" or something - so with all this crap swirling round, I've just cancelled the whole bloody show for a while.

The stool pigeons call it "proroguing" or something and they've got their skivvies all in a knot about shutting down democracy - whatever that's supposed to be - while I re-jig the whole works.

Like, I can sneak a few of my sidekicks into the Chamber while everybody's scarfing down the turkey and catching the puck in the corners, you know?

One of the local broadsheets - I think they call themselves The Globe...ha! talk about delusions of grandeur - they put an editorial on their front page this morning called "Democracy Diminished."

Boy, they should be glad I'm giving them something to write about. You're welcome!

Anyhoo, kids...see you in March.

I've got some Games to check out and a bit of ice fishing and whatnot to fit in.

And, by the way...

Happy New Year!

Detestable Meddling

They are young. They are dedicated. They are Caring, with a capital C.

And I'd like to lasso them and put them on an ice flow (if such still exist) until they learn better or an endangered polar bear eats them.

They are the "helpers" who, in the absence of a needle exchange haunt with a street address, ride around Victoria on bicycles giving addicts clean needles and fresh crack pipe kits. How ecological! How Gregor!

These sisters of charity are delusional and monstrously destructive.

"There's not much time for support and education" says one of the official creeps who perpetrates this public crime.

Get serious.

Support and education was never in the deal. There have never been any intentions headed in that direction. It's all and only about Harm Production.

Victoria's Mayor at least has some very small shard of connection to reality. He admits that needle exchange places attract "dealers, conflicts and filth."

He is right.

But get this.

Treatment centres like Portage in Keremeos, Welcome Home in Surrey and BHF in Winnipeg DO NOT ATTRACT DEALERS, CONFLICT AND FILTH, BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL ABOUT GETTING PEOPLE CLEAN AND SOBER.

Meanwhile, these idiots in Victoria are sending out guerrilla teams of harm seduction workers to help addicts shoot up or light up as safely as possible.

"As safely as possible????"

No such thing.

What could be called safe about shooting up or smoking up?

This is do-gooding in its ugliest form.

All concerned should be arrested for public mischief.

Obama Faltering? Hesitant?

Konrad Yakabuski has written another excellent editorial commentary in the Globe this morning.

He questions President Obama's resolve and clarity when it comes to matters of urgent national defense.

His central argument seems to be that Obama doesn't quite have the stomach for war-mongering or international conflict.

It's a worthy read.

Chilliwack

How is it possible to look at a thing of natural beauty and then shoot it?

There are some things I don't understand.

Headline Captures the Nation

Nigeria, Netherlands to introduce full-body imaging; Canada undecided

When?

Cat Bird - Peace on Earth

Progress!

Now, here at last is some real news.

Japanese researchers develop see-through goldfish

Apparently, they've had see-through frogs for some time now.

If you look closely, you can see the goldfish's brain just above the eye and the heart beating somewhere just...well, back there somewhere.

I tell you what I am waiting for.

The see-through horse.

Finally, we will be able to spend a pleasant day at the track, enjoying the greenery without all those goofy nags getting in the way!

Brilliant Animation