Your Weekend in Review Before it Happens

The blogger will be out of commish form the weekend...

so here's what you can take to the bank between now and Monday:

The Patriots and the Packers will win their games, setting up a classic showdown Feb. 3 in the Stupor Bowl between Tom Brady and Brett Favre, two of the games greatest quarterbacks ever.

Your mutual funds will be worth less than they were on Thursday.

More illegal immigrants, criminals and miscreants will be safely hidden amongst us, gathering income supplements of one kind or another and refusing to return to the hell hole from which they came.

More amazing pronouncements will be made by more governments about fabulous programs that will enrich all our lives. And, by the way, we and our grandchildren will pay for these initiatives, but we won't mind because we are Canadians, a genus often difficult to distinguish from sheep.

Kim Capri will move into the luxe new dog pound.

Sam Sullivan will claim ownership of yet another program that he has had absolutely nothing to do with, while simultaneously refusing to admit that he owns other programs for which he has registered private patents. As always, his staff will be blamed.

Gordon will still be wearing those glasses that declare, "I am a thirty-something Yaletown law student."