Today's Province Column

	Friday » July 11 » 2008
Why is today's world increasingly peopled by ill-mannered louts? David Berner Special to The Province Friday, July 11, 2008 The abandonment of good manners is a shame; the loss of civility is a tragedy. Yesterday's Province story about a man who parked in a spot for the handicapped before slamming a car door twice on an amputee's leg is a case in point. The other day, I was leaving a bank parking lot. A perfectly pleasant, fortyish woman in her perfectly pleasant family van drove in. She parked diagonally across two parking spaces -- one of which was, of course, the handicapped spot. She smiled at me as if this was a perfectly normal thing for an able-bodied person to do. Last month, I asked a girl who was doing the same thing at a Point Grey supermarket if she was, in fact, handicapped in any way --other than mentally and morally, that is. She said: "Oh, I'm just parking here for a moment." I told her that a moment was a moment too long, and asked her how she would feel if she were disabled and couldn't find a place to park. She told me I was rude and dove into her car. I'm rude? I'm not the able-bodied selfish fool who is parking in handicapped spots. Last week, my son Sean and I were walking at Kits Beach. A man was sitting in his late-model bimmer, drinking beer and throwing empties out of its sunroof onto the grass. While Sean went to retrieve the can, I leaned in through the roof and said: "What are you doing, sir?" Before the man could finish sputtering, Sean, like a soldier tossing a hand grenade into an enemy tank, returned the empty to him. On Wednesday, a girl in her late teens was using the "frigging" word liberally and with considerable volume at a local coffee shop. When she and her friend stood up to leave, I was treated to a full view of way more than half her doughy posterior exploding out of her distressed jeans. When it comes to lack of civility and decency, children using restaurant furniture as their own personal jungle gym has become the norm. So has the sight of the parents sitting blithely by. I can't for a second claim to have been a good parent. But I don't remember our children doing anything at restaurants other than eating and talking with us. Is all this constant bad behaviour simply a generational thing? I'm a grouchy old guy and I just can't get with the program, right? As the lady who tried to push past me on the bus said: "Chill out, man!" When I was in high school, I played "Mr. Manners" in a slide-show presentation. How quaint. Can you imagine something like that being shown today? People are not only yelling into their cellphones in theatres, restaurants, cafes and supermarket lines, they have taken to texting while driving. I know, they're multi-tasking and I don't get it. But let's imagine a world that is completely different. Let's imagine showing each other basic courtesy and small daily considerations. That's the kind of community we should all be raising our children to live in. david@davidberner.com