THE RESCUE SOCIETY

"B.C.'s Solicitor-General has ordered his staff to study the possibility of fining outdoor enthusiasts who enter out-of-bounds areas at ski resorts and in backcountry B.C."

Why study?

Why the possibility?

Why doesn't John van Dongen simply do what he should do?

"No new policy would be ready this winter because the idea requires a lot of discussion."

About what?

"Mr. van Dongen said he does not believe in forcing people who break the rules to pay for rescue efforts. "

Why not?

We force people to pay for traffic violations including the horrifying bad taste of parking for 62 minutes rather than the 60 you've paid for.

Of course, no one really ever pays these fines, which is why any city of any size in Canada typically has a backlog of about 300,000 unpaid traffic tickets.

Here's my idea.

The signs that say, "Ski area BOUNDARY, not patrolled," should instead say, "NO RESCUE ZONE. WANT BIG THRILLS? DIE AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE, DUMMY"

Of course,we would never do such a thing. We are a civilized caring society. We rescue almost everyone we can.

If you want to kill yourself with various narcotics, we will rescue you by giving you needles and crack pipes and mouth pieces and places to take your drugs away from the winter winds. If we can get away with it under the guise of "science" or progress or improvement or some such, we will rescue you by giving you your drug of choice or a near facsimile or a new pill or a baby lulu to suck on at the very least.

There are some rare exceptions, of course.

If you are old and cold and starving and living in a cardboard box on the street, we wouldn't want to force you to come in out of the storm. That might violate your human right to die in the cold.

But other than that we are the rescue society.

So keep schussing down those unmarked mountains in the avalanche zones, baby. Never fear, The Rescue Society is near.

It is your god given and charter blessed right to behave like a yahoo and be bailed out by taxpayer dollars and the efforts of men and women who put themselves at risk to save your sorry ass.