Figge This

While the world economy continues to slide precipitously down The Great Rabbit Hole (possibly of all time) and Vancouver replenishes its reputation as Crime City and the Bishop announces he'll take some time to re-examine the evidence of the Holocaust...while all that and so much more is bringing joy to our hearts on a regular basis...

think on this:

Jennifer Figge, a 56 year old American woman is blithely swimming the Atlantic.

There's the picture, here's the story.

Read it, marvel, say "Jennifer rocks!" and have a kick-back Sunday...

MEAN STREETS

Yesterday's blog entry, "Six," about how effective all our agencies are in fighting crime, received some excellent comments and I encourage you to read them.

Then, check out Vancouver Sun writer Kim Bolan's blog on this topic.

Today the Province is one big crime sheet. Take downs by hordes of swarming cops, more on the Langley mall shoot-out, 2 young people killed by a hit-and-run idiot near Granville Island.

What used to be another cheesy Hollywood movie being filmed on our streets is now the real deal. Lucky us.

What did the day Sergeant used to say every morning on "Hill Street Blues?" Something like, "Careful out there..."

Clown School

The City of Vancouver has cancelled the so-called "Ambassadors" plan for private security guards downtown.

They were right to do so.

Fund the police to patrol on foot.

If the Board of Trade or the Downtown Business Association wants to pay for these Keystone Cops, they are free waste to their own money.

Victor on the Hypocrisy of the BCTF

In its ideological war with Gordon Campbell, the BC Teachers'
Federation enters a politically incorrect killing field with its
campaign against standard testing. One of the Fed's arguments is that
standardized testing is an elitist assault on ESL (English as a Second
Language) students. In other words, white kids can handle it but our
brown, yellow, black, red whatever kids can't.

Oh really?

Mark the following on your calendar for June. When the BC scholarships
are announced for the brightest kids in BC, 90 per cent of those
smiling photos of winners in your local paper will be Asian kids. Yep.
The same ones who are traumatized by testing.

The same nonsense is at play in the Fed's argument about testing being
discriminatory to kids in the lower economic rungs of BC society.
Listen up, oh fatass teachers, The most miserable enclaves of urban
poverty in BC before World War 2 were our Chinatowns. Kids lived in
fetid rooms above their parents tiny grocery stores and laundries.They
helped out after doing their homework and they too scored at the top
of their classes. These same poor kids became captains of industry and
chancellors of universities . They were kindred spirits with the
Jewish kids in Hell's Kitchen,New York, who, 80 years ago helped their
Yiddish speaking father sell apples on a push cart and went on to
create wealth and opportunity for millions of Americans.

So, Fatbutters, don't hang your terror of personal accountability on
the backs of kids who may stumble in English or look different. Don't
insult them by making them foot soldiers in your war of lethargy. They
will go on to thrive in competitive careers while you cower in
protected mediocrity.

My Sicilian grandfather(were he here), my Chinese wife and I consider
you to be a sad joke.

SIX

There have been six murders in Metro Vancouver this week.

Let's see now.

We have a Solicitor-General. We have an Attorney-General. We have a Mayor and Council. We have the Vancouver Police Department, the RCMP, the Coordinated Unit of Something and the Integrated Task Force of Something Else.

We have social workers, outreach workers, community developers, family counsellors, group therapists and Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioners, many of whom are Irish and Ukrainian.

We have school counsellors and Grief Counsellors, but no Good Grief! specialists.

We have drug court and we have native court.

We have parole and probation and healing circles and victim assistance and victim compensation.

My favorite recurring phrase in the reports of all this violence is "known to the police," as in, "We knew this scuzzbag dopehead criminal piece of dirt was doing all this dreadful stuff, but we just didn't really have the evidence or the case to bust his sorry ass before he started spraying auto-fire all over a shopping mall at noon."

What we don't have is the collective will to say, "No."

That just wouldn't be nice.

DR. STRANGELOVE

Last night I watched from beginning to end, Stanley Kubrick's singular, brilliant, stand-alone one-of-a-kind dark comedy, "Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb."

Below you can watch Peter Sellers in two of the three roles he played in this masterwork, American President Merkin Muffley and Dr. Strangelove. As the President, he has on one side of him the great Canadian actor, Jack Creley, and on the other George C. Scott.

The closing line of the scene, and the movie, is hysterically bleakly funny and no matter how many times you see it, it surprises.

To see Sellers' third role as Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, you will have to rent the movie.

Then you will have the astonishing delight of watching Sterling Hayden as the completely insane Brigadier general Jack D. Ripper, obsessed with "the Ruskies taking control of our precious bodily fluids," or Keenan Wynn warning Sellers that if he is wrong he "will have to answer to the Coca-Cola Company!"

If you watch closely, you can also see the great James Earl Jones, he with the stentorian CNN voice, in a role almost without words.

This is a movie with lines like, "Gentleman, please! You cannot fight in the War Room!"

What a mad merry prankster Kubrick was.

What a great movie this is.

THE PLAN

And furthermore

Yesterday, I wrote about the "new" 10-lane $3 + Billion Port Mann Bridge plan from The Highwayman, Kevin "Don't Ask Me Anything" Falcon.

Pelalusa asked me if my views on such projects have changed and what I propose.

Here are my answers.

No, my views haven't changed.

If there is a legitimate project to be built, get on with it and build it. Stop mucking about for 20 years while the costs escalate.

If it is a legitimate role for the government and taxpayers, then pay for it.

BUT stop selling this P-3 bull that pretends that the government will save millions of dollars, when the net result is inevitably that the taxpayers will in fact be on the hook for millions more than were ever advertised.

When governments sign deals with men in suits, you and I pay. Governments are voted out of office, men in suits prosper and taxpayers pay.

As for the Port Mann Bridge specifically, $1.75 billion was already assigned for a twinning of the bridge.

To clear than plan off the table and replace it with no public discussion or consultation or referendum with a $3Billion (read $5-6 Billion in reality) tear down and replace plan is completely a NO GO.

This is a clear case of TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION.

SICK The cure is sicker than the sickness

Yet another country has fallen to the heroin give-away scam. This is a horrible human rights violation. These addicts deserve legitimate treatment to help them get well. Instead, the Danish government is taking the easy way out and supplying them with drugs.

---

Dose of reality fuels new initiatives to help addicts

Long-term addicts to get two free doses of heroin a day in a Danish scheme that could be replicated across the UK Danish drug users will inject heroin in clinics under doctors' supervision.

State-funded heroin is becoming a reality in Denmark, the latest in a small, but growing, number of European countries – including the UK – concerned with improving drug users' quality of life and reducing criminality.

Since 1 January, hundreds of drug addicts in the Nordic country have the right to receive two free doses of heroin a day, paid for by their health system. The offer is only for adult, long-term users for whom substitutes such as methadone and subutex have not worked.

"The aim is to improve their state of health, help them avoid committing crimes and stabilise their lives," explains Dr Anne Mette Doms at the Danish Board of Health, which supervises the project. "Quitting altogether is not a realistic option for most of these patients. For them, this will be a chronic treatment, as if you were treating a chronic disease." Addicts will need to attend one of five specialist drug clinics across the country, where they will inject diamorphine – pharmaceutical-grade heroin – under doctors' supervision. The drug will not be available on prescription so as to avoid resale on the street.

Danish authorities are in the process of setting up the clinics, registering the doctors who will work there, and finding out which drug companies they will source the heroin from. The £7.2m project is expected to be up and running by March.

The initiative was adopted by overwhelming consensus in February 2008, after all but one of the parties represented at the Danish parliament voted in favour of the policy – the only one against it was a tiny far-left party that did not oppose the project per se, but the way it was funded. Among those in favour was the far-right Danish People's Party, a movement not usually known for its progressive views: at the last general election in 2007, it described some Danish Muslims as benefit-scroungers and fifth columnists who threatened Danish democracy.

Some might think this initiative is not surprising in a country with a historical tradition of progressive, social democratic policies. But, just as in the UK, the drug debate has been bruising in Denmark. And unlike in Britain, where heroin is available on the NHS for some cancer patients, heroin as a palliative is completely forbidden in the Nordic country.

"Five years ago I decided I would not participate in yet another debate on drugs," recalls Preben Brandt, the chairman of the Council for Socially Marginalised People and an advocate of the policy. "It was too emotional, with different groups being very aggressive."

"The counter-argument was always 'you kill people by giving heroin' or 'with this initiative, you are telling people that taking heroin is OK'," he says. "It is very difficult to have a rational debate when you are arguing against beliefs."

The turning point came when results became available from experiments trialling the policy in other European countries, including Switzerland and the Netherlands. "The politicians became convinced that it could help those with the most severe drug problems," says Mads Uffe Pedersen, the head of the Centre for Alcohol and Drug Research at the University of Aarhus. "You could not argue against the (positive) findings." "The debate became more practical," agrees Brandt. "It was about what policies worked and which ones did not. It was no longer about morality."

Attitudes towards drugs addicts improved too. "Drug addicts in Denmark are less stigmatised," says Brandt. "They are no longer perceived as criminals who are a danger to society. They're seen as patients who have a disease they need help with. The new scapegoats in Denmark are the foreigners."

Could a similar initiative be possible in the UK? It's actually happening already, with three schemes taking place in Brighton, Darlington and south London, where long-term heroin users can inject drugs under medical supervision at specialised clinics. Early results indicate that the scheme has cut crimes and stopped street sales.

Crimes committed by the addicts involved in the scheme dropped from about 40 to six a month after six months of treatment, Professor John Strang, the head of the National Addiction Centre at the Maudsley hospital, told the Independent newspaper. A third of addicts stopped using street heroin and the number of occasions when the rest used it dropped from every day to four or five times a month, on average.

It remains to be seen whether UK politicians will expand the policy nationwide, especially if they fear a possible backlash from voters. But if British voters are similar to their European cousins, this would not be an issue. Last November, Swiss voters approved the scheme overwhelmingly, with 68% supporting the plan. And there has been no popular backlash in Denmark, following the adoption of the policy by parliament.

Source: www.guardian.co.uk 5^th Feb.2009

The Curious Case of BENJAMIN BUFFOON, Part Deux

Bishop ordered to recant Holocaust denial

Vatican acts to deal with global storm over Pope's effort to rehabilitate Richard Williamson

Even German Chancellor Angela Merkel joined the outcry for some good common sense on this matter.

But let us pause for a moment and consider the Good Bishop and his life.

Food, clothing, lodging accounted for.

Never has to worry about a mortgage or a spat with the little woman/partner/significant other.

What is that creamy old saying?

"Idle hands are the devil's workshop?" Something like that.

So here you have this deeply insecure schmok who has rushed to the embrace of an immense pre-built structure called The Church.

Having no real matters to worry about, no real problems to solve and learn from, he can pass away the sunlit days with dreamy conjecture.

How evil are those Jews anyway?

Who really believes there were ovens and gas chambers? Come on! Really?

Which deacon should I bless this afternoon?

Did I miss matins again? Oh, my.

To truly help this sorry soul The Holy Father should do this.

Send the man away from the walls of the Church. Order him to a life of ordinary toil amongst the peasants and journeymen and kings of the realm.

Ask him to report back in, in say, 20 years.

Play bridge with your new Jewish friends.

Dance at a potlach. Bake bread, dig a ditch, solve a logarithm.

But mostly, be quiet.

Then, in 10, 000 words or less, tell us what you have learned.

We can hardly wait.

GET OFF THE RESERVE, BROTHER

"We have 350 families on a wait list for more housing. And we just don't have the money to build 350 houses."

This is the voice of Band Councillor Edward Starr of the Sandy Bay, Manitoba Indian reserve.

It is part of another dreadful story about death and fire and suicide and alcoholism and drug addiction on reserves.

But, for me, the crucial signal comes in this phrase, "We have 350 families on a wait list..."

Why? For what and for whom are you waiting?

The Great White Father to build you a house?

He hasn't built me a house.

I had to toil in the filthy corrupt marketplace to find the lucre to pay the down payment to sign for the long-term mortgage to buy my little postage stamp of independent home ownership.

Messy, I know.

Not ideal, for sure.

Not much room to swing a dog or cat or go fishing.

But that's life in the Big Smoke.

What most self-respecting people do is they study and work hard to get a house for their families. Reason being, so far we haven't noticed too many people just being given houses by anybody.

I appreciate that what I am suggesting here is way more than politically incorrect. It's darn near treason.

I am suggesting that the reserve system couldn't be more sick.

No one questions the dreadful, racist, exterminating, exclusionary policies and behaviours of several generations of white colonial rule in Canada.

All true. All shameful.

But please note.

Ethnics groups of every color, stripe and origin live and work in "the mainstream" while vividly maintaining their Irish Chinese Hindu Jewish Muslim Korean Russian roots and traditions.

The Indian Reserve was a bad idea 150 years ago and its a bad idea today.

It is a financial, moral, psychological sinkhole from which very little good can emerge.

End it.

Join the fray. Celebrate new strengths and old traditions right here on Canada Street.

Yah, I know. These are awful, incendiary ideas.

So be it.

Waiting for Godot will never be the answer.

$aving Fa$e

On Thursday, January 29th, wrote in this space about Gordon Campbell's favorite delusion, the vaunted beauty of the P-3 arrangement. (PPP Yourself)

We learn to day that The Highwayman himself, Kevin Falcon, has decided that Twinning the Port Mann Bridge is out ($1.75 Billion) and tearing the existing bridge down and Building a New One is in.

Cost $3.3 Billion.

Said.

Today.

Come on.

The new PPP Miracle on the Fraser isn't scheduled to open until 2013.

Which means, realistically the true and final cost will be more like $6 Billion.

As this nifty little plan will be written into law, it doesn't really matter whom we elect on May 12th, the fix is in. We, the citizens of this province, will be on the hook for this outrageous malfeasance of duty for decades to come.

This incompetence and dereliction of duty makes the Fast Ferries Fiasco into Playtime, by comparison.

For true insight into how disastrous and predictable this Port Mann Mess really is read Andre Picard's excellent story in today's Globe.

In this PPP, taxpayers are the ones who paid

A report by the Ontario Auditor General on the Brampton Civic Hospital project shows the pitfalls of this kind of financing

The article chronicles the usual trumpeting by a government of a public-private partnership, followed by the inevitable collapse on the part of the private consortium, followed quickly by the bail-out by the government left holding the bag.

Can you say, "Olympic Village" Boys & Girls?

Punch line to these horror stories? Moral?

Build civic projects with civic money and quit the bull.

Tastee Freeze

The City of Vancouver, exactly like every other government in the world, is a grossly bloated bureaucracy.

When I said in a Province newspaper editorial some months ago that close to 50% of the employees and departments could be slashed with no noticeable effect on the lives of its citizens, the outrage was loud.

This morning, as I learn that the City has given the City Manager powers to slash and cut and freeze wages, I stand by my original position.

Spend some time around City Hall and then tell me different.

50% of every employee's day is given over to lengthy gabfests called "meetings," at which every participant's every subtle need must be met. The favorite song around these costly affairs goes, "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that idea."

Meetings are followed by write-ups of the meetings followed by follow-up meetings.

For this my property taxes are going to go up 10%?

The arts and culture department is a fiefdom run by a totally obscure but power-mad shrike who operates entirely on her own agenda.

The drug office has accomplished exactly what? Any clean and sober recovering addicts? I don't think so.

Now, Council wants a mental health advocate? To do what?

The same marvelous job that Mr. Civil City has been doing?

Drugs and alcohol and mental health are not civic responsibilities. These are offices of the provincial and federal governments, who do a bad enough job on their own, without wasting my tax dollars on ineffective boobs at 12th and Cambie.

The simple truth is that City Hall could realistically cut current expenditures by hundreds of millions of dollars and you would not see a single sign of deprivation, other than the oxygen-sucking mandarins on the employment lines.

Of course, flag-waving and tap-dancing aside, the City will never do this.

Governments are perpetual swelling machines.

They give birth to eight babies a day.

They sit around all day dreaming of ways to re-generate, duplicate, obfuscate and add to our woes and costs.

Remove the snow. Keep the sewers running. Pay the firefighters and the police.

Otherwise, be quiet and stop spending our money.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

On Saturday, I was sitting in the dining room having a snack with friends. The doorbell rings.

Oh, look, it's not Revenue Canada. Well, that's a start.

But it is a guy with an official looking document. What is this, the annual Are You Allergic to Peanuts Survey?

Close.

He's campaigning for Gordon Campbell and the Liberals. Will I be voting for him, them?

Not likely, son.

But if you vote for Carole James the world will fall in to mortal peril from now unto perdition.

Right. Got it. Have a nice day.

And therein exactly lies the problem.

Today, the Premier and his Finance Minister, Colin Hansen, announced that it's Deficit Financing. The days of Balanced Budgets are now the stuff of porch swings and Doris Day-Gordon MacRae musicals.

O.K.

No reasonable person can fault this province for being a part of the real world beset by massive economic downturns. No great shame in biting this distasteful bullet and getting on with the job at hand.

But therein lies the problem,

What, exactly, is the job at hand? And who best to do it?

My problem is this.

Neither Gordon Campbell nor Carole James, neither the Liberals nor the NDP can find the right balance.

Campbell has shown, day after day, a mean-spirited elitist pro-business, anti-small guy attitude in almost every choice made. He is after the Big Projects and the Truly Big Monuments. He seems finally a man with little heart or human kindness. Certainly, he has paid scant attention to those among us who have less and need a little more.

I cannot vote for him, and I will not.

So.

Take Carole James...please.

Is there anyone in the provincial NDP caucus, James included, who has the faintest idea of how to read a spread sheet? Have they ever sold shoes at The Bay or run their dad's coffee shop, let alone managed a large corporation or hired and fired large numbers of people?

I have lived in this sovereign state for over 40 years now and I have seen only two parties - The Right, who build roads and bridges; and The Left, who tax and spend.

Will we ever have a New Politician in these parts? Will he or she arrive before May 12th so that British Columbians might have someone and something to choose?

Not likely.

So how shall we vote?

THE MATCH - ANOTHER TAKE

David
I have along with many others admired Feeders' tennis skills
But there is something rotten in the state of Federer
We saw two lessor players battle through a marathon that left us all
tired and worn
but when the last shot was called they walked to the net shook hands
and went to their chairs
neither fell down, neither cried, neither jumped up and down shouting
whoopee.............

I have at times suspected Federer of giving games to an opponent before
closing the set or match
He never seems to break a sweat, and does not want to .............

Underneath the skilled tidy blue and white perfection I think there may
lurk a monster.

We don't see this but I think he likes the "control" of himself, the
game, and the opponent.

He found that he could not control Nadal. The ultimate retriever!
Awesome ! Truly awesome.
then he could not control the game ........
and finally he could not control himself.
I think his tears were tears of shame. He did not play his best because
trying hard is not cool
and he was surrounded by champions.
Players who gave their all and did not cry when they were defeated
...........

All Nadal had to do was give Federer a breakpoint
Federer would stop playing. He doesn't want to appear to be working at
the game.
It is "cool" to let Nadal miss a shot

The fatal flaw in Federers' character

If I knew him better I might not like him

On the other hand maybe I am all wrong ............

.............Maurice

REPLY:

I think your analysis is spot on, Maurice.

His stubborn refusal to adjust to Nadal's shoulder-high spinning forehand to his backhand corner is now the stuff of legends.

As is his reluctance to go for his great inside out forehands until he is down 3 games or 2 sets.

He will either get it into his thick head that Nadal is an entirely different kettle of fish or he will perish behind his rigidity.

As for Rafa - what an admirable stalwart young man!

SO SWEET

MOZART

I rarely go live concerts any more.

Or the movies.

In spite of the fact that I usually get in for free.

The reason is simple.

I have become a crotchety old pain in the butt who simply cannot listen to people in the audience babbling inanities during the music or movie or play.

Always, during these moments, I ask myself, "What is it exactly that YOU could say right now or ever that is more glorious or important than what Mozart or Francis Ford Coppola or G.B. Shaw has to offer?"

Great, brilliant cellists and piano players are bringing back to life before your very eyes and ears the works of genius and some ditz head must say something crucial to his or her companion.

Thus, I now find myself poised over the MUTE button during the Australian Open tennis finals.

That blathering idiot, Dick Enberg, described by Wikipedia as "one of the most prominent and respected play-by-play announcers," simply never shuts up.

Through every point of an almost 5 hour epic match he tells us everything we needn't know, everything we already know.

Even during the point!

One of the several beauties of tennis -either as a player or a spectator - is the silence.

The orgasmic pornographic grunts of players - begun some years ago with Monica Seles and continued now by men and women alike - was more than enough.

But add to that Enberg's relentless pursuit of the obvious.

"If he wins this point, the match will be even."

"If he wins the next point, he takes the set."

Really?

Patrick McEnroe and some of his colleagues are players and they know when to shut up and let the play tell the story. The BBC knows this.

But Enberg must fill every potential void. And he must make terribly clever analogies to baseball in particular and other sports in general.

At several moments during yesterday's final, I hit the MUTE button repeatedly, only to find that Dick had talked solidly for five minutes or more.

This is, of course, why God gave us the MUTE and the FAST FORWARD buttons in the first place. Ah, the glories of recorded sports events. No commercials. No looks at faces in the crowd. No side bars with the announcer in the stands commenting on the wind, the sun or the snacks people are eating.

Now, the match itself.

Never, ever, have I seen something so dreadful.

Federer and Nadal fight mightily for four sets. Federer could easily and should easily have won the first three and taken the championship. But a) he didn't; and b) Rafael wouldn't let him.

In spite of his 5 hour and 14 minute exquisite fight with Fernando Verdasco about 24 hours earlier and in spite of leg and muscle problems throughout the final, Nadal did what he always does.

Heart, sinew and soul, he invested in every point in every moment and showed us again and again he is easily the greatest "warrior" to ever step on a court. There is no quit in this guy.

Repeatedly, Federer made beautiful hits that no other player on this earth could or would return... and there was Rafa returning the ball for an outright winner.

So.

Two sets all. Fifth set.

Federer, whom we all now routinely and with considerable justification, call "the greatest player ever," has just won the fourth set convincingly 6-3 against a wounded and ailing Nadal.

Should easily now put away the fifth for the championship.

Instead, we witness to our embarrassment and astonishment and yes, disgust, the greatest collapse by a great player in history.

He couldn't hit a first serve or a forehand or a backhand.

This was the textbook CHOKE.

This was the living proof of what many of us have been saying for almost five years now - Nadal has gotten himself completely inside Federer's head.

He owns Federer.

Federer didn't simply lose to a marvelous champion. He blew it. He threw it.

And then he gets up at the presentations and starts crying uncontrollably. Sobbing.

Because he lost? Is he such a tender child that he truly believes he is never supposed to lose?

Because he lost so badly?

Rafa was, as always, warm and gracious.

They are, after all, not only great rivals but good friends. Rafa was visibly disturbed by all this carry-on. As were we.

Federer is reported to be a stubborn man who will not accept that he must fine-tune his already magnificent game to overcome the Force known as Rafael Nadal. But fine-tune he must.

Doing what he already does best has placed him within shouting distance of owning more trophies than any other man in the history of the game. And he can do that week in and week out against all the other players in the world.

But Nadal is different.

If this experience does not teach Federer this lesson, nothing will.

And that would be a terrible shame. For Federer and for those of us who love the game.

Wally's Hero and Role Model

ANOTHER FINE IDEA, WALLY

Yesterday, lawyer and former prosecutor, Peter Ritchie made headlines across the nation accusing the BC Government of making the courts accessible only to the rich.

He pointed out that his two young clients attempting to sue BC Ferries could hardly afford the $60,000 in costs to stand up in court.

Today, Mr Blather-Dither Himself, Attorney-General, Wally Opaque, says he's been mulling ideas for four years that would reduce those costs.

His "ideas," like the fine fellow his own true self are pure smoke as usual.

The Trail Lawyers Association responded immediately saying that Oppal's ïdeas"would cause more harm then good.

We ask again:

What is this PR flack doing in public office?

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Negotiations are priveleged and confidential."

That's a federal government lawyer speaking in a now convoluted case in which a reporter has been banned from hisright to report the news...specifically the news of the Liberal sponsorship scandal known as Adscam.

Read the whole Globe story here.

Then help me with this question.

"Negotiations are priveleged and confidential..."

Even when they are part of a criminal conspiracy?