Small World

I've taken BA flight #85 several times in recent years.

It leaves London's Heathrow Airport - a small city complete with doctors, entertainment, hotels and traffic jams - in the early evening and, if things go as they are expected, it touches down at YVR just on time for dinner at home of the same day.

Not today however.

Not only that flight but some Scare Canada and KLM flights have been cancelled as well as BA#85 and the flight heading back to Heathrow, BA#84.

The source of all the fuss?

Well, it's Ma Nature up to her funny tricks again.

Just a small matter of that volcano exploding out from deep below a glacier in southern ICELAND!

In Europe, many flights have been grounded because the volcanic ash is clouding the skies for many hundreds of miles.

Imagine sitting on board what seems to be a "routine" flight and then hearing the captain crackle over the loudspeaker, "Sorry to interrupt this Sandra Bullock movie that I know you're enjoying. I saw it in a lay-over in Tokyo last week and I thought it was terrific too. We'll have it back up and running in just a moment. I just wanted to give you fair warning though that we've been advised by the meteorologists with whom we are in regular communication that we are about to fly through some pretty...ach... heavy volcanic ash. I know that sounds unusual and it is. But not to worry. The little bits and pieces are pretty small and by the time they get up to 39,000 feet, which is our present cruising altitude, they've kind of...gee whiz... cooled off. So just relax and enjoy your flight and if you see a kind of darkness come over the starboard side, well, no...oof...ah, no problem."

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

Off to an Early Appointment this morning.

Back full strength tomorrow with the customary complaints, brick-a-bats, witticisms and favorite tunes.

In the meantime...

May he rest in peace...Gene Kiniski.

There was a time when, if you were a Canadian and you followed sports or entertainment, you had a pretty good handle on World Heavyweight Wrestling champ, Gene Kiniski.

This was around the same time that, if you were growing up in certain towns like Edmonton or Winnipeg, then half your friends were either Ukrainian or Polish and football players had names like Bronco Negurski.

During my late teens, I had one friend named Nick Olynick and another named Nick Olyarnick.
Olynick was short and dark; Olyarnick was tall and blond. Both were drop dead funny and huge laughers.

Kiniski the wrestling pro was fierce and fun.

Some Talent

As I was saying...

On Sunday, when I wrote in this space about the remote and horrifying possibility that one of the worst mayors in Vancouver's shoddy history of bad mayors might be considered for the "job" of Governor General, Bill Tieleman gave me advance warning thar he would have a piece on the same subject this week.

He has and it's a juicy little humdinger.

He spells out in considerable detail exactly why this is a truly dreadful and inappropriate idea.

Read it here.

Out of Order

The New Democrats sought yesterday to use Question Period to ask Premier Gordon Campbell whether he was aware of the “smear campaign” at the time, but their questions were ruled out of order because of the current RCMP investigation into the affair.

That may be strictly correct.

But what is truly out of order is the entire stench emanating from a pile of truly ugly election pamphlets that SOMEONE was sending to Chinese voters before the last provincial election.

Kash Heed, who was elected by a narrow margin, in the targeted district, has stepped down pending the outcome of the RCMP investigation.

But if this happened on his watch and on his behalf - even without his knowledge - he may have to step down permanently.

And what about the grease balls who created this slime?

And who sanctioned the whole operation?

And who knew about it?

Access Denied

The federal Information Commissioner has rated a raft of agencies (Justice, Citizenship, Revenue, Corrections and the like) on their transparency.

Their willingness to open their little hearts and minds and share the basic info.

Needles to say most of these public services failed miserably.

Secrecy and obfuscation are their mantras and their middle names.

We don't even know why the Happy Sociopaths are in the news every day this week. What did she actually do? What did he do? Sure, they're creepy, but what did they actually do? Harper won't tell us and the Ethics Commissioner won't investigate. Why? (Collective shrug.) Who knows?

Welcome to (sshhhhh...) Canada.

Meanwhile the Supreme Court has been secretly arguing amongst its very perfect self on the whole issue of government access.

Hey, what's 16 months between friends?

Gulag, anyone?

GO, GO, GO...

Not a good review, but a RAVE from Julie MacLellan in the New Westminster Record/Burnaby Now for Royal City's "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat."

This follows Peter Birnie's RAVE review in the Vancouver Sun.

They are both spot on.

It's been ages since any of us have seen a show here with such energy and fun. The voices, the dancing and the staging are all wonderful.

This is the second time I've mentioned "Joseph" in these pages.

I have a personal stake in the success of the show as I bought and planned much of the advertising and marketing.

But I am also a miserable critic and don't like much of what I see on local stages.

This thing blew me away.

It's fab.

Go, go, go...
http://www.masseytheatre.com/ or call 604-521-5050 for tickets

Take kids with you...there are 60 about 60 kids on the stage and they are wonderful.

What's Gnu?

- Obama will save us from nuclear annihilation. Good luck.

- Nobody, including the RCMP, will tell us exactly what charges, if any, are pending against Helena Guergis and/or her creepy husband.

- Shoppers Drug Marts are fighting openly with the Ontario Premier as he tries to limit the fees they collect from generic drug companies. Watch for this battle to spread across the country as everyone looks for ways - legitimate, sensible or otherwise - to cut health care costs.

- Kevin Falcon, that genius of health care management and former builder of highways and bridges, is changing the way we pay hospitals to do their work. He claims more efficiencies. Ha!

- Tony Parsons is at CBC??? Huh?

Ungracious Kvetch

Tiger Woods has become, among other things, a kind of harridan, a whining shrew-wife who is never satisfied.

He shot 11 under par in the Masters and placed 4th behind Mickelson, who won the tournament.

He played terribly and inconsistently and still, he is such a rare prodigious talent, that he almost won the thing.

And this after a five-month abscence from the game.

When briefly interviewed by Peter Kostas after it was all over, did he congratulate the winner or say anything remotely pleasant?

No.

He kvetched that he only plays to win and that if he doesn't win, he's unhappy.

That attitude may have gotten him to the exalted place in which he now strides.

It may also be his undoing.

God forbid he should be grateful for anything on a sunny day in Georgia.

Can you say, "Spoiled child," boys and girls?

Because you asked...

In 1983, I was doing a fun, little radio show from 10 pm to 1 am weeknights on what was then called CJOR, AM600.

The show was called "A Little Berner on the Night."

A local entrepreneur was running a nightclub in what was then the Plaza Hotel at the foot of Capilano Road on Marine Drive.

It was my great please, because of these two coinciding events to interview and spend time with Ginger Rogers, Tony Bennett and others, each a story unto themselves.

When B.B. King was here, I brought my trusty Sony tape recorder up tio his hotel room and we hung out for about 3 hours.

He was great.

Charming and self-effacing, full of stories and good will.

No doubt he had had his share of life's troubles and no doubt he could muster a darker side when the occasion called for it, but I saw none of that.

He told me wonderful tales about his life and his guitar and the tremendous stretch of fabulous musicians with whom he had played over the years.

In truth, the only thing I remember vividly from this conversation was the gracious and uncalled for compliment he showered on me as I was leaving.

With a giant beaming smile and a great strong handshake, he declared, "Oh David Berner, I have learned soooo much from you today! It hs been a priviledge to spend this time with you."

I have no idea what any of that meant, but I was thrilled to hear it and I've never forgotten it.

BEWARE!

Needles, coffins, criminals.

And that's the GOOD news.

If you vote for those bastards, they're going to steal your mother's inheritance money.

And so on...like that.

Pamphlets and phone calls in Cantonese.

The pamphlets read “Authorized. Registered sponsor under the Elections Act”.

Of course, that was false. A lie.

All of this bogus and distasteful nonsense happened in the last provincial election in Vancouver-Fraserview, where Kash Heed was ultimately elected by a narrow margin.

Someone (ooooooo...who could it beeeee?) sent this scurrilous garbage out on behalf of the Liberals and against the NDP.

The only question at this point is who in the Liberal Party knew about this 'tactic?'

Mr. Heed? Mr. Campbell?

Does anyone in Liberal Land feel responsible for denigrating the elections process to this level?

My bet - like yours - is that no honorable men will fall on their swords.

Denial will be the order of the day and life as we know it will continue merrily in Supernatural.

My Sandbox or Yours?

Here's an old playground story.

We have a game.

You say, "I don't want to play your stupid game."

So you don't play and we do.

Then, your best friend shows up and he happily joins in the fun.

Pretty soon, you're begging us to let you play too.

The Game in this case is called the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

It's sort of like the EU, only the jerseys are a different colour.

The idiot who doesn't want to play is Canada, specifically the Prime Minister.

He's concerned about votes from dairy farmers in the only place in Canada that really matters - Ontario & Quebec.

Moo.

But, hark.

The USofA is now joining this trade agreement that will only give access to 470 million consumers.

Oh...NOW we're interested.

Can we play?

But the American's are saying, "Butt out Canada. You had your chance and you blew it."

All I can say is it's a darn good thing we have so many adult gown-ups running things for us.

Please Hang Up and Dial Zero

There's no 911 in Yellowknife.

That doesn't stop Bell from charging 75 cents a month to all its cell customers up there for a service that doesn't exist.

Kudos to James Anderson, a retired school administrator, who is suing the telephone giant to return some of the $160 Million they gouge every year.

And when will the CRTC require ALL communities to carry working emergency numbers?

Hey, it's only Life & Death.

Hello

The sun has been shining for a day or two now.

Yeah!

How Many Ways Can I say, "NO?"

Could ex-Vancouver mayor Sam Sullivan be the next governor-general?

This is the question asked in a Province headline this morning.

Let me give you the answer.

Nononononononononoohgodpleasenononononosayitisn'tsonononononoabsolutelynot.

Sullivan is a mean-spirited, self-serving deceitful unworthy candidate.

On the other hand...

A good way to keep him from his many pet projects...hm...

A Trucker Writes...

David, I drive a truck for a living. I own the truck and I am faced with a variety of challenges.

Ive been doing this since 1973. For all of the 70s and most of the 80s trucking seemed invisible on our roads. Then we deregulated. All of the major trucking companies went out of business. CP Transport, Johnston Terminals, Alltrans, Motorways the list goes on and on.

The days of a driver starting out in a small truck and slowly moving up to a semi with 600plus horsepower and pulling up to 60,000 plus kgs ended.Today if you can afford about $2500 you've got a class one license. A truck can be had for next to nothing because they have become worthless due to incredible competition. Trucks are now very visible. They are often found on their sides ,in ditches , and crashed all over the interior of BC.
The
Federal minister of immigration was on TV and he said that Canada needed to fill thousands of unskilled positions. The next phrase out of his mouth almost made me sick. "Yes we need thousands of truck drivers"
Hes right , anyone that wants to drive a truck can and if a lack of training, a lack of inspectors happens to cost a few lives , SO BE IT!. Dead farm workers are a cost of doing business. Dead and injured people on our roads and highways are a cost of cheap groceries. Cheap building materials , cheap you name it.

We have a third world work force and a third world mentality. Its what the country wants. CHEAP labor.

Its not just trucking . Next time you get on a plane think about the stiff competition that airlines face. Think how they have had to cut costs. Lay off mechanics. Increase time between scheduled maintenance. Keep older planes in the air longer. Yes its just a cost of doing business.

Spent 3 Hours Alone in a Hotel Room with BB KIng - but that's another story

Life Under the Big Top

Yesterday, I wrote in this space about the Narcissistic Sociopath Couple of the Decade.

Today they are front-pagers across the land.

The charges and allegations and rumours are all busily swirling about.

The basic notion seems to be that Helena and Rahim - no doubt on their way to their own highly popular reality TV show - like to use what used to be her office to get biz for him.

All of which would just be amusing nonsense and not much different from watching animals in a zoo throw veggies at one another, were it for one fact and one consideration.

The fact: Ottawa, with a full agenda on its plate, has effectively ground to a halt. Surrounded by scandal, the PM will be unable to do much else for the next few days.

Lovely.

The consideration: This idiocy is the tip of what iceberg?

Yes, Helena and Rahim are uniquely challenged, but with so many free-loaders on Parliament Hill, one has to ask, "How many others are handing out Blackberrys on street corners? How many others are charging handbags and sports warm-up suits as political expenses? How many others routinely promise or have their spouses promise special access to the Mint?"

What ever happened to the quaint notion of "public service?"

When did this get replaced with Let's Bleed All We Can out of this Circus While the Bleeding's Good?

Maybe it was always thus.

Maybe we've been duped by the rare and occasional Good Member of Parliament in to thinking that that was the norm.

Now, back to Helena and Rahim!

On today's show, Helena buys a poodle and writes it off as a campaign expense for "security," and Rahim takes a number of foreign dignitaries to lunch where he shows them photos of himself lounging poolside with the Prime Minister recently.

Nice Run

Kash Heed has done the right thing in stepping down as BC Solicitor-General while the RCMP check out alleged violations of the election Act in Heed's campaign office.

He was a good cop and we will hope that he is cleared and he can get back to work.

But this is not a good run for Mr. Campbell's picks for the office over recent years.

Mr. Heed is the third consecutive B.C. solicitor general forced out of office due to legal matters.

John Les resigned in 2008 amid disclosures he was caught in an RCMP investigation over land deals while he was mayor of the Fraser Valley city of Chilliwack. John van Dongen quit in April, 2009, over the disclosure that speeding tickets had cost him his drivers’ license.

You probably don't want to ask Gord's advice on which pony to back in the third at Belmont next week.

This is a Rogue & Obscene Government

It doesn't matter that three women died.

It doesn't matter that the seats in the van, designed to carry 15 passengers, had been ripped out and replaced with wooden benches or that here were 17 farm workers in the van that morning.

None of this matters to Gordon Campbell.

He is too occupied waving flags and building concrete monuments to himself.

Instead, he sends poor defenseless Labour Minister, Murray Coell to talk trash like, "Farm workers are definitely safer."

These people are shameless.

The simple unarguable fact is that inspections of these continuing death traps are down, way down.

Coell's cruel deceitful twist?

Fewer inspections are required because the rate of compliance has improved.

Not true.

A completely verifiable falsehood.

When asked about the coroner's recommendations, Coell said his government has not rejected those recommendations, but is still considering them.

"Considering?"

These real human beings who were going to work at 6 am to feed themselves and their families and were being treated like slave labour in some banana republic fourth world garbage can of a country were killed THREE YEARS AGO, Murray.

Considering?

That's the Honorable One, Hisself, smiling at you in the top corner.