Boring and Irresponsible

There is only one thing of interest in the front section of today's Globe and Mail.

It is this.

Not one, not two, but three whole pages of ads from the CBC.

How much did that cost?

Of taxpayers money.

To let us know that Peter Mansbridge had a poo. That Peter Mansbridge popped a pelican. That Peter Mansbridge played the piano in pindergarten.

Has anyone noticed?

The CBC is a corrupt organization.

It is valuable and necessary, but it is a mess and it spends our money in the worst ways unimaginable.

I'm Not Paying...So There!

Catalyst Paper Corp has withheld about $17-million in taxes from four B.C. town's where its mills are located: Powell River, Campbell River, Port Alberni and North Cowichan.

Another company, Celgar, refused to pay its $3.6 million in property taxes this year and instead filed a petition in B.C. Supreme Court asking for a judicial review of the town's tax rates, where it operates in Castlegar.

Pretty cheeky for a company that has just been given...wait for it...$57.7 million in bail-out money from the federal government.

Now...

A) I don't get federal bail-out money. Do you?

B) If I refused to pay my taxes, RevCan would first seize my home and car and first born and then throw me in jail.

Double standard to go with your double-double this morning?

Lovely

So you won a gold medal for your country way back when.

Big deal.

Get lost, Sister!

Last week we saw John Furlong crying croc tears on the front pages about how the Olympics was helping humanity.

???

Well, he's not helping athletes who competed and triumphed for Canada.

No invites, no tix.

Read it and kack.

Then send Mr. F. a friendly little note at info@vancouver2010.com

Parity

There was a time for a few seasons there when the phrase "on any given Sunday," really meant something in the NFL.

Now, what've we got?

35-7, 42-6, 37-7, 38-0...

Getting the picture?

And that was just yesterday. A week or so back, there was 58-0 for the Patriots over somebody.

Vat da heck?

Now, we're watching a handful of elite teams who seem to have their way with the patsies as they will. That would be your New Englands, your Colts, Saints, Broncos and Vikings - unless they're playing a real team, like the Steelers.

And the bottom of the heap?

Well, they have never been so bottomed.

Looking up at a far away sky from a very deep well indeed are the Raiders, the Browns (Have the Browns ever had a winning season after color TV?), the not-so-Titans (Who were 13-3 last year!), St. Louis, Kansas City and Tampa Bay.

We're talking big zeros in the in column after seven weekends.

Other than Oakland, where the 90-year old (at least!) and completely nutty Al Davis has been systematically destroying a once storied franchise for about a decade now, who can explain the new layout?

Not me.

And confession:

In a perverse way, it is kind of fun to see the occasional blow-out.

The twoof

Look, it's Sunday.

Nothing happened.

So from the sublime to the weedickuluth...

A LITTLE BACH for a Sunday MORNING

Alice Cooper with Soupy

And from a Cop who knows...and cares...

David, I agree with you that this nonsense must stop. It's funny in jest but too sad in reality. When I was walking the DTES beat in the 80's, I used to joke about all this stuff, but low and behold, these kinds of idiotic 'programs' became reality, so I stopped joking about it.

The SIS was pre-fitted to create a crack inhalation room (shouldn't the science have come first?). Did you know that the new pieces of Brillo the addicts stuff into their glass pipes release toxic vapours according to the HR 'safer crack smoking' guide? I guess crack is 'toxins with benefits' then (like crack lung).

The drug policies are so gangrenous now that when I hear of harm reduction, I think of 'arm reduction' as evidenced by the plethora of recent amputations seen in this very sick addict population. Too bad there wasn't a drug to treat stupidity to go with your proposed HR quarantine room David. These guys are so far behind in their thinking that they actually think they are ahead. Can they OD on stupidity?
Oldtimer

This Comment Deserves Attention

David, I spent the evening at Eagleridge Emergency. I was there because our family doctors office isn't open enough hours to treat all of his patients.It was a zoo. Ive seen a lot of busy emergency wards but this was beyond my ability to describe. Woo, Peckinpah, and other violent genre movie makers might be able to do it justice.

So the thought of spending tax dollars to give crack heads a comfy place to get high makes me sick. That group of left wing do gooders should be placed in the emergency ward of a different hospital every night until even the dumbest of the dumb realize that our health system is on the verge of melt down. Until we can look after the people that our paying the taxes to support the crumbling health system we should place duct tape on the mouth of any wing nut that wants to spend money to make addicts comfy. If an addict wants to get clean we should have to provide the means. If an addict wants to be comfy, to hell with him/her.

Headlines We Can't Get Enough Of

Ottawa deaf to pleas for B.C. crack-inhalation site

Hahahaha...couldn't happen to a nicer town.

Mark Townsend is the executive director of the Portland Hotel Service Society which runs Insite. He and a few other geniuses want to open a "safe" crack smoking room.

Hahahaha...

Service are being cut back in every area of public health, but we should give crackheads a place to smoke.

Hahahaha...

Here's how poor Mark describes the utopia he envisions: "a designated place to smoke crack cocaine in the company of health professionals..."

The part that I love is "in the company of health professionals."

Question.

How could you call yourself "a health professional" and want to spend your time standing around losers who are smoking cocaine? How? Why?

Oh, sorry.

I know.

I am not supposed to call these contributors "losers."

They are substance users.

One of Mark's friends in this lunacy is the appropriately named Evan Wood. He's a researcher. He says that having such a facility would be "ground-breaking."

No, Ev.

Having treatment programs that graduate clean and sober men and women - that would be ground-breaking.

"You're using, basically, supervised injection sites and inhalation rooms as a strategy to recruit people into addiction treatment," adds Mr. Science.

We remind Mr. Wooden Head once again that when he decides to come out of his bubble and check out the modern world, what he'll find is what every parent of every addict has known for a very long time here in B.C.

THERE IS ALMOST NO ADDICTION TREATMENT.

Beds are few and inappropriately expensive.

Here's what I propose.

A room that will hold for safe keeping Mark Townsend, Evan Wood, Larry Campbell, Sam Sullivan and all such fellow travellers.

This room will keep them from hurting themselves, but, more importantly, it will keep them from further HARMING the community.

Now, dat's harm reduction!

SHOPKEEPER AND DANGEROUS OFFENDER, PART II

Christie Blatchford, as she often does, has absolutely nailed the story to which I referred briefly in yesterday's posts.

David Chen, the Toronto shopkeeper who captured a chronic thief and crack addict and for his reward has been charged with several offenses, has a family of four and employs 10 people.

"Prosecuting David Chen brings the administration of justice into disrepute and renders the law an ass. Giving a break to the very crack-addicted thief Mr. Chen was chasing is an outrage."

Read the whole piece and marvel at how retarded and twisted is our justice system.

Number

The hungry people in the world are now 1.02 billion.

He Doesn't Know His Own Power

Wee Gordie's done it again.

The Preem gets all hot and bothered listening to a kids chorus in Newfoundland last year. He invites them all to sing at the Games.

They rehearse 92 hours a day, 22 days a week for the last 12 months. The parents raise travel money and so on. Expectations are high.

Of course, The Number One Bonehead had no authority to invite these children to cross the street. The deal is off. There never was a deal. The kids are going nowhere.

Who the hell does he think he is anyway? The IOC? VANOC?

You're just the Premier, Gord, Get over it.

Now, he doesn't have egg on his face.

He's plastered with a great coast-to-coast fritatta.

Nice going.

The Soup - age 83

When I was in my early 20's, I used to make a point of being home in the late afternoon so I would never miss The Soupy Sales TV Show.

I think It was a children's show, but if it was, it was the hippest kids show ever.

And falling down funny.

Watch this clip of Soupy with Fang.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=As7MaQSc7qc&feature=related

In 1983, when I began "A Little Berner in the Night" on CJOR radio, the first celebrity I interviewed was Soupy Sales. He was on the phone from New York.

He absolutely loved it when I told him that I held him right up there with the Three B's - Benny, Burns and Berle. He laughed his head off, which allowed me to demand, "So how come your name don't begin with a B?"

We did the whole interview on tape in the afternoon to play later that night.

He was impossibly funny.

I thanked him and hung up the phone.

I rewound the tape and settled in to listen to this pure gold.

Of course, I had forgotten to press the little red "RECORD" button. I have always been so technology challenged. To this day, I am only a blink away from needing someone to come over and turn on the lights.

Now, here's chutzpah...

I phoned Soupy right back.

I explained my terrible gaffe and he said, "So, David...you want me to do the whole thing over again?"

This was about a half hour piece.

Guess what?

He said, "Start the tape, press the red button, you shmock, and let's go."

Milton Supman has passed away at the age of 83.

CRUELTY IN BUREAUCRATIC GARB IS STILL CRUELTY

We've spoken several times in recent days in this space about cuts to programs for mentally ill and addicted people on Vancouver Island.

Of course, those cuts of monies for important services are not restricted to the Island Health Authority.

The lovely and compassionate Kevin Falcon is being even-handed and fair in his demands across the board for everyone to suffer equally.

Justine Hunter has given us first-rate coverage of this mess in today's Globe.

Her opening lines sets the tone:

"The only residential addictions treatment program for youth in B.C.'s northwest is closing.

Struggling parents in the Downtown Eastside can count on less support to get them to counselling.

Over in Victoria, seniors' support is slashed and caseworkers for the mentally ill are laid off."

Read the piece and think hard about how you will vote in the next election.

This administration has become a poster child for "penny wise and pound foolish," as it squanders billions of ego-projects and attacks the weak and vulnerable with tiny cutbacks that mean the world to people who already have so little.

JUSTICE STRIKES AGAIN

A man killed two women and injured a number of others.

He crashed his truck into a sushi restaurant in Maple Ridge. Boy, do those dynamite rolls pack a punch!

Keeping in line with our great track record in jurisprudence here in Canerda, Brian Irving was found not criminally responsible for his actions. He killed two women.

Apparently, Irving was in a "disordered" mental state at the time. His particular affliction? Alcohol withdrawal.

You can't make this stuff up.

By the way, did I mention he killed two women.

In Toronto, the top of the news wheel for to days now has been the story about the shop owner on Dundas in Chinatown who spotted a crook who is constantly stealing from him. He chased the creep down, caught him, stuffed him in the trunk of his car and called the police.

His reward?

The shop owner is being charged with assault and confinement and belonging to the wrong congregation.

The law on citizen's arrest says, apparently, that you and I can catch a thief in the commission of a crime, BUT just because we have video tape on the guy stealing from us 29 times in the past week doesn't allow us to grab him when he's just strolling by.

First, change the law.

Second, give this shop owner the keys to the city, our thanks, a citation and an all-expenses paid trip to Bermuda.

MY OLYMPIC TRAVELSMART PLAN

I have seen the Future, and it is Now.

For the next three and a half months leading up to The Blessed Event, Allah be praised, at least one third of all newspaper space will be given over in some form or another to the Olympics. Articles, stories, warnings, ads. It'll be in every section - health, education, sports, show biz, politics and the culinary arts.

Today, in addition to all the other bumf, there was a 3/4 page ad in the Globe.

Here's what it said above the crummy badly staged photo of four actors pretending to be a cross-section representing Canadian citizenry:

Event: The Downtown Freestyle Commute (Get it? Eh? Hahaha. Isn't that cute, Evelyn?)

Plan: We're working from home one day a week and taking transit during the Games.

(Translation: You, yes, you, you stupid rube, should utterly change your life around because that's the cooperative thing to do. Or else.)

Then, in big bold letters...

What's your TravelSmart plan?

Glad you asked.

On February 9th, I'm boarding a flight for Heathrow. The next morning I'll take the shuttle bus over to Gatwick, pick up my next flight and arrive in Venice just before midnight. All on points, of course.

I'll stay at my friend Susan's house and sometime during the three weeks, I'll visit Lugano and /or somewhere in Southern Italy, like, say, Bari or Sicily. Haven't decided.

On March 2nd or 3d (can't remember), I'll fly back home.

Perhaps by then, Granville Street parking may have returned, the sign police may be on a Tim Horton's break and I can drive downtown to do my volunteer work without being arrested.

I know that I am doing my civic duty.

VANOC and the Mayor and the Preem can all thank me of getting out of the way and being one less annoying kvetching whining local who would like to live his or her life regardless of all the terribly important new and short term arrivals.

What are your TravelSmart plans?

Share, share...

AND SPEAKING OF ADDICTIONS...

All us addicts like a good rationalization for our nutty behaviour.

And if the Latest Excuse comes from a third party and better yet an authority like a scientist or someone wise and wonderful, well, hallelujah!

Thus, imagine my glee at discovering today that espresso is good for my liver!

You think I'm grouchy sitting here in my p.j.'s in the morning?

You should see me at 3 pm if somehow the day has interfered with my small cappuccino with skim milk, please. Scareeeee...

I'm quite sure that if a day went by without my fix, my head would explode. For sure. Explode.

And while we're on the subject of Coffee Culture.

Some observations.

Almost any one's coffee is better than Starbucks. But, in a pinch...their cappuccino is not bad.

In Vancouver, the Waves chain is inviting for several reasons. The cappuccino's are excellent. There are about 90 three-pronged electrical outlets per shop making it just about the most computer-friendly environment in town. People are by and large friendly and helpful to one another.

Artigiano may keep winning "barrista" awards and their coffee is first-rate, but their staff has that miserable stupid superior attitude of coldness and superiority and there is roughly one electrical plug per store, a deliberate strategy I am told to keep students and old men who like to write in coffee shops from lingering too long. Wrong approach.

The cafe with WiFi has become the New Universal Living Room.

It is amazing how we all now take this for granted like it'd been here since buffalo.

I've seen it in Washington, DC, Venice, Toronto and Salt Spring Island and I think it's a wonderful spontaneous social development. The kind that be neither predicted nor planned.

You leave your basement apartment or high-rise flat or room in someones house or your grand mansion. You throw your light-weight netpad, notebook, whatever in your bag and head to the coffee shop. It's warm, it's well-lit, the cafe is delicious, the date and carrot slice is tasty, the music is so loud and so intrusive that it quickly just becomes a wash behind your consciousness.

Two days ago, I met a delightful and funny couple from Shanghai. They are both scientists. They were suitably impressed that I can utter a few catch phrases in Mandarin. They gave me a Beijing Olympics book mark and key chain. We exchanged e-mail addresses and promptly put ourselves in MSN Messenger contact.

I still managed to write five new pages on the fourth draft of my book.

Afternoons well spent.

SAFE CRACK-INHALING ROOMS, PART III

Margart Wente has written a marvelous column today about Harm Seduction and the most dangerous man in B.C., our Provincial health Officer, Dr. Perry Kendall.

No smoking allowed (unless it's crack)

Free crack pipes and a safe place to inhale are seen as enlightened social policies.

It's a good one. Give it a read.

LAST CALL

There's still a chance to get a couple of good seats for tonight's concert, Michael Feinstein, The Sinatra Project, at the Orpheum with the VSO.

Not only is Feinstein a terrific singer and piano player, but he is a musicologist who has made an extensive and personal study of The American Songbook (Gershwin, Kern, Rogers & Hart et al.)