Alex Sits on Sam for 24 Hours

DRUGS, SEX and FOOL'S GOLD
By A. G. Tsakumis'Rebel with a Clause'

I was, honestly, preparing to write for you about the obscene continuance of Laibar Singh's deportation dance, or, drugs and pro sports, but as luck would have it ……

the Mayor of Vancouver opened his mouth again, planting both feet firmly within.

Unfazed by the very serious media questions, His Worst-ship, continues to insist that his ridiculous drug fantasy initiative, CAST (castvancouver.org) has received secured funding by the federal government to the tune of $10 million, even going so far as to suggest that the money was on its way to provincial Health Minister George Abbott, presumably for distribution.

Unless something has changed since Sunday, this is the greatest concoction of agricultural fertilizer ever proffered by Sir Spamalot.

I called a friend in Ottawa, who, let's just say for the sake of protecting a most valued source, is a high-ranking officer in the Harper Government. His comments reveal Mayor Sam's words to be, ah, factually challenged. More to the point: there is no one - aide, official or Minister - who has ever told Sam Sullivan that CAST will be funded, let alone with $10 million.

The last time Mr. Sullivan was in Ottawa, he saw Health Minister Tony Clement at a Christmas cocktail party where the two chatted.

No announcement has been made about any funding by either Health Canada or by the Prime Minister's Office; not only no money has been allocated, but “we're not even close to the final stages of a decision.”

No one wants any piece of this story because everything Sam's saying about the money just doesn't exist.

Essentially, the Sullivan re-election caravan is now losing crates of its own snake-oil because the Mayor's driving is, well, a tad erratic (and I'm being charitable here).

As if that wasn't bad enough, the entire CAST fantasy was dealt a severe blow this month, with the publishing in the British Columbia Medical Journal, of a very strong letter opposing this interminable nonsense. The letter is signed by some of the most respected doctors and addictionoligists in Canada (all from B.C.).Their concern, reduced to its lowest common denominator, is that CAST is pure folly as proper treatment and that its proponents have only sought to provide hypothetical benefits based on loosely married long-shot social benefits and the like.

But in a frothy, indignant reply, Drs. David Marsh and Michael Krauss of Vancouver Coastal Health, both proponents of CAST, have written an attack piece more in line with a political campaign than salient argument one would expect from physicians holding some lofty positions (are you watching Minister Abbott?).

And to complete the trifecta of stupidity (for this week), the Mayor raised the issue of sirens in Yaletown affecting his sleep, with none other than the Premier. Forget your safety, it's Sam's sleep that matters.

Of course, too, legal brothels for the Olympics (again) were high on the Mayor's talking points list. Tourists' sexual appetites are a priority for Sam.

And why not?The rest of us have been getting screwed for two-and-a-half years already.

A. G. (Alex) Tsakumis is one of our editorial writers appearing in this space every Friday.