MY DEEP PERSONAL PROBLEM

I have a personal problem.

I know this seems unlikely, but it is so.

On Sunday afternoon, Sweetheart and I went to see the Oscar-nominated movie, "There Will Be Blood" at the Fifth Avenue. The movie was somewhat of a disappointment, but that's for another day.

My problem came to light with the arrival across the aisle from us of a middle-aged couple. From the sit-down, they chatted amiably in loud voices as if they were at home and not in a crowded theatre.

When the lights went to half-dark and the trailers began, I wasted precious human breath by leaning across the aisle and saying, "Excuse me, may I please hear what's on the screen?"

They both laughed heartily as he replied, "It's only the trailer!" It was the trailer they were discussing so vigorously.

They didn't for a second break stride. They continued their merry discourse until the feature began and picked up again the moment it ended.

So what's my problem?

It's not that these people are assholes, which they are.

It's not that these people are 60 year old children playing at being responsible, considerate adults.

It's not that I want to world to cater to my needs and wishes, which I do.

It's none of that.

My problem is that THESE PEOPLE ARE TRULY GENUINELY HAPPY!!!

I am not a happy man.

I am a complainer, a whiner, a kvetch, a nag and a guy who writes a blog every day about the ills of the world.

BUT THESE ASSHOLES ARE REALLY HAPPY!!!

They laugh and smile and everything please them.

Very little pleases me. The few things and people that do, I cherish and thank the Mysteries for.

BUT THEY ARE HAPPY.

How can I get this way?

Please help.

Agitated in Vancouver