Linda Y. on More Ill-mannered Louts

I have to agree with both David and Mr. Barker about poor manners.

I will tell everyone about an experience I had at a local library. I brought my own children, plus a four year old I was babysitting to the library. This community library is very child centered (almost half of the space is devoted to children's materials and they have many children's programs).

I admit - the four year old and the three year old ran around a bit (in the children's section only). They are both very high spirited. I don't pay too much mind, as long as they are not climbing the shelves or fighting or causing a danger to themselves or others.

I hurried as fast as I could to get my materials and proceeded to the checkout. Just as I was about to leave the library, my infant started to cry. I sat down near the front door at the magazine area and gave her a bottle.

Just as she started drinking, an older man charged up to me and said, "People like you make me sick..you should bring your kids to the playground and not a library. Shame on you!!!"

BTW, it was the second week of December and raining. I am not sure which playground would have been most appropriate....

I was so stunned, all I could utter was "have a nice day." After Mr. Angry left the front door of the library, the librarian approached me and assured me that my family was welcome to use the library and that Mr. Angry did not speak for anyone. She also handed me a Kleenex because I had trouble holding back tears...

I could understand people being upset if I was in the study area of the library. I can understand people being upset when small children are brought to an elegant restaurant (especially during a later seating). I can understand people being upset if I brought the kids to a PG 13 or R movie. But this was a CHILDREN'S LIBRARY!!!

What Mr. Angry forgot was that there are other people in the community besides middle aged ones.
These other people (i.e. kids) are at different developmental ages and they will behave accordingly (within reason).

What we have in this society is a voluntary segregation of people.

Older people choose to live in "adult only buildings." They want nothing to do with young adults or families with children.

In most mainstream organizations (churches, large clubs) participants are organized into specific groups (Childrens group, Young Adults, Young Couples, Older Singles, etc). We do not mix.

I am blessed to have lived for ten years in an affordable building in Vancouver's West End (a very rare thing these days). I rubbed shoulders with the young, the old, people with disabilies, rich and poor. When I moved from the area - I moved to a co-op in Champlain Heights. Here I rub shoulders with the young, the old, families, people with disabilities, the rich and the poor.

I am more aware of the feelings and needs of people around me because I choose to be with a variety of people. Others in my community are more aware of the unique needs of my family because they choose to be around me.

In our society we have 55+ buildings and communities. We have clubs like "No Kidding" devoted to adults of any age who choose not to have children (and frankly, don't like children). In churches and other large organizations, people are segregated to separate groups based on their demographic profiles (teens, young adult, adults with young children, older adult, seniors). People with disabilities are segregated into limited housing that is accessible.

We are not so much overtly rude - just extremely unaware of each other and the unique needs of each other.

I choose to be aware of others and respect them. I need others to be aware of me (and my young kids) and respect them.

We won't have any understanding and respect if we all choose to live in our own narrow worlds.

Linda Yuill