Tuesday, July 3, 2007

The Tennis Fan's Agony: Broadcasters

TSN, ESPN and NBC are among the alphabet soups that just don't get it.

Tennis fans are...wait for it...TENNIS FANS.

They don't give a flying fuck what happened in the off-season in terms of NHL trades, what obscure 3d rate ball player snuck from 1st to 2nd in the bottom of an early season game between the Senators and the Louisville Snoozemasters, and what color underwear Beckham wore to the party last night.

Tennis fans are watching TV to do that one thing they only get to do 4 or 5 times a year...wait for it...WATCH TENNIS!

So NBC always starts their tennis coverage with some frozen smiling rictus in a New York studio bringing us all up to date on 9 other sports events before we actually get to SEE Wimbledon. Let them know at NBC that we TENNIS FANS are at home, yelling at the TV set, "SHUT THE FUCK UP! BRING US THE TENNIS, YOU MORONS!!!"

TSN, always, always, always chooses to display their visually and orally disrupting crawls (baseball scores, off-season hockey trades) at the bottom of the screen EXACTLY at match points and championship points. Is there some evil DNA lodged in their souls? Are they completely mad? Or just plain stupid?

And, of course, NBC must take us on colorful little tours of Paris or London because none of us have ever seen Paris or London and we tuned into a famous tennis tournament when we actually meant to watch the travel channel.

A billion dollar reward to the broadcaster who broadcasts tennis by...wait for it...broadcasting TENNIS!!!

The Excited States: Good News & Bad News

The Good News:

John McCain is running out of money for his presidential campaign. Yeah!

The Bad News:

That great and wise authority on jurisprudence, George Bush, has pardoned Libby. Boo!

"I respect the jury’s verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive."PRESIDENT BUSH, on the prison sentence of I. Lewis Libby Jr."

Beverly Sills Farewell - Her Final Performance!

Known as "Bubbles," Beverly Sills passed away yesterday at the age of 78. She was more than a great singer. She was a great organizer and fundraiser and ambassador for music.