Wednesday, February 11, 2009

GUNFIGHT AT THE NOT OK CORRAL


The dictatorship, the one-man show known as the Provincial Government rode high to the rescue yesterday.

Gordon Campbell, a.k.a. the Lone Stranger, announced new initiatives on two important fronts.

In the first case, no money is attached to the plan, which means it doesn't actually exist.

In the second, the money and the plan are too meagre to be taken seriously.

Both are pre-election burps.

Second case first: $600 Million for two new hospitals up-Island at Campbell River and Comox.

$600 Million? What are they, Quonset huts?

If this is such a good idea why are all the doctors and citizens in the area disgusted with it?

Why now?

But we know the answer to that one.

First Big Idea:

Elliott Mess, the Premier of the Province, is going postal, pulling out all the firearms and vowing to rid our streets and IGA parking lots of criminal gubfire. (Woody Allen's great early comedy, "Take the Money and Run," gave us that classic line, "Does this note say, "I have a gub?"")

Right.

And all of this will happen without any new dollars being spent.

And all of this will happen without what all of us know must happen sooner than later - the creation of a Metro Police Force that covers the Lower Mainland.

All of this will happen by moving two beat cops from traffic to gangs?

And all of this announcement is without the presence of our two official law enforcement boobs, W. Opaque and John van Donkey.

Gordo the Great to the rescue.

Of course, we are all immensely relieved and grateful.

Following this post is a duplicate of Bill Tieleman's call for the resignation of Wally, the Fish, taken, with his blessing, from Bill's blog.

There's no question that DodgeBall City needs a new sheriff in town, one with bullets in his guns.

But is it any of the Current Pretenders?

(By the way...servers at Tim Horton's are no longer asking if you want double cream and sugar. Now it's simply, "Will that be shooting or non-shooting?")