Saturday, December 26, 2009
The Globe & Mail was heavy and thick this morning.
Twaddle, that's what.
It was all about "decoding" and "parsing" the decade.
Better it should have been parsniping.
(That's a Jewish sentence structure...although parsnips may not necessarily be considered a Jewish vegetable. Pickles are a Jewish vegetable and I know many people who have pickle trees in their back yards...although that doesn't necessarily make them Jewish, just people with exquisite taste and very high hopes.)
One of the many reasons I don't go to parties (The main one being that I'm rarely invited...) is that there is always one genius standing around the cheese and crackers table parsing and decoding practically everything in sight.
Some people just feel that it is given unto them to interpret the last 40 or 400 or 4000 years to everyone.
I say, "If you can make a convincing argument, Buddy, and convince Scribner or Knopf or someone to swallow your story whole, good on you, but in the meantime, let me at the appies and get the eff outta the way."
So all of the talent at the Globe got together and told me that Y2K didn't happen and that texting did. And MJ died and Tiger is in hiding. And "The Song of Bernadette" never did get remade for Tori Spelling. (I made that one up.)
Look why don't they just keep it simple?
Send out a one-pager on December 26th.
"Nut job tried to blow up a plane over Detroit, everything else is cool, shop till you drop."
I took my own advice yesterday.
I walked for about 90 minutes on one of my all-time favorite walks - English Bay.
I've been walking that walk since the first day I arrived here over 40 years ago.
I've walked in many wild and weird and wonderful places, and English Bay continues to be great.
Yesterday it was sunny and unseasonably warm and thousands of others were walking as well.
Today, a quiet stroll to the 'hood, a double espresso, a couple more lamb chops for the grill and that's a wrap, kids.
Cherish a day or two without da news.
Posted by David Berner at 11:19 AM