Saturday, December 10, 2011

Twists and Turns

People think that the best sports in B.C. are hockey, fishing, skiing and playing games on their iPhones.

But no.

The very best gamer, bar none, is watching bureaucrats, mandarins, elected officilas and all the other agents of the devil play with words.

It's called The Spin Cycle.

The name of the game is to take the obvious and verbally twist it into something unrecognizable, although usually risible.

Prime example from yesterday's headlines:

Doctor on leave after scans reviewed

Sechelt hospital retests nearly 200 people since last year

Pretty straight forward, yes?

Just hold onto your bowler, Bunky.

We've only just begun.

This medical wizard has been performing colonoscopies of late. Over 600 little visits up the backsides of local patients in recent years. Only problem is Doc doesn't really know how to do this little bit of plumbing and the intruding equipment is not really getting to the final resting place it should. Result - confusion and a sore butt for nothing.

Now, here's the spokesperson for VANCOUVER COASTAL HEALTH (I put that in caps and bold font because around these parts, this body is akin to the emperor or the ayatollah... as in, what we say, goes, Brother!):

"There was never any evidence that anything was done wrong but possibly it wasn't done thoroughly," Vancouver Coastal Health spokeswoman Anna Marie D'Angelo said,

Now, here s my problem, Kids.

I'm a bit of a language freak.

And from the little log cabin in the woods that I was a-larnin', doing something wrong and not doing it thoroughly ARE THE SAME THING!

But it's OK.

Our Angel of Public Deception says that sticking tubes and camera and stuff up the public's ass for four years and getting no useful information is just a minor glitch.

And if she had to suffer this indignity and come away none the wiser, would she still be spouting this drivel?


She's well compensated for the bull.

CARING ABOUT FAMILIES...but not if it costs us too much

Why would WorkSafeBC, whose mandate and mission are explained in its monicker, go out of its way to make life more dangerous for late night and over night workers?

As always, follow the money.

The BC Federation of Labour and others petitioned long and hard to have the government pass "Grant's Law," in honor of the young man who was dragged to his death when he tried to stop a punk pulling a "gas & dash" at an all-night gas station.

Now, two years later, the government is bowing to the whining from business owners who claim that keeping their employees safe is too costly. Now WorkSafeBC is pulling a vanilla on the rules.

Where is the "Families First" premier?