Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Crystal Balls

Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World" was published in 1932; George Orwell's "1984" in 1949.

In these two seminal and brilliant novels of the future, people were stunned and regulated automatons.

They were controlled in all their behaviours by overshadowing central governments.

They watched and were watched by TV screens.

They took soma tablets to stay happy.

On Monday, I was walking in the 'hood.

A girl of about 15, dressed in the uniform of a very expensive private school was walking towards me.

She was texting.

Of course.

She's a Happy Little Consumer Unit.

Her family thinks she's a person.

On Friday, I had a late breakfast with my son.

At the table next to us, two people met and texted and said, without looking at each other, "Great to see you."

They are Happy Consumer Units.


Somebody has mistaken them for real people.

But less frequently these days.

People in the UK are pissing so much Prozac into the toilets that the water systems are polluted with Happy Medicine.

One in ten Americans has a prescription for an anti-depressant.

HCU's rule.

The pharmaceutical bill is in the many, many billions of dollars, euros and yen.

Hank Haney, Tiger Woods swing coach, decided the other day to jump from the Tiger ship. After working with Woods for several years very closely, how did he break the news to his biggest client and a man he calls his close friend?

He texted him.

Tiger Texted back.

They may speak soon.

All the good HCU's are texting, watching the Big Plasma Screen and popping the Happy Pill.

Half the people driving in the lanes next to you are HCU's stoned on Happy Meds.

The rest are texting and talking on their cells.

Brave New World.


We thought it was just literature.

Cellar Jazz Club - Go...You'll LIke!


When the geniuses at the top of the heap that calls itself CBC Radio Two decided to Youthenize its formats, they scrubbed most of the classical and jazz playlist.

They decided that their audience was just too, too old.

Missing the point that Canada has been getting older by the day.

So enough already with the Ellington and Scarlotti.

In with the...uh, the...

What they've managed to do in the past few years is come up with a playlist that appears to be unique in broadcast worldwide.

They play a kind of pop/rock/folk/funk/hip/blues that apparently is known only to five guys in Nova Scotia.

This is Fall-Through-the-Cracks music.

It's music that never sells an album because it s second rate drek.

Oh, it's soulful alright.

It's cute and clever on occasion.

It's just not memorable or hummable or impactful.

It's Loser Tunes Inc. is what it is.

Somebody's cousin is running the shop.

Investigate and change, please.

Unparalleled Beauty