Wednesday, May 16, 2007




Here's a fun and lively piece from a group I've just learned about from "Crookks and Liars." This'll get your m orning going...

Another Guest Editorial from V.

The lady and the tiger episode resulted in a horrid tragedy, witnessed by her children. William Blake told us, 200 years ago, about the complex disposition of Mother Nature. "Tiger, tiger burning bright". We never learn.

We did learn in the ensuing media coverage ( responsible I might add) that owing to variances in municipal bylaws, people who want to keep a tiger,puma, rhino in their backyard or basement need only to take their menacing menagerie to the next town that lacks bylaws if things get ornery.

The solution, we are told, is for the province to ban the practice of keeping exotic ( can you say killer) animals. Ban. Outright. Sounds good.

Then we hear from the Minister of Agriculture and Fools. Pat Dumbell.

His solution is to "license keepers of killer ( sorry, exotic) animals and perhaps requiring them to have training".

Out of the pool, somebody peed!

See, here's the deal.

First, licensing is government code for revenue. It's code for inspectors as in bigger government. Hello? We will never collect revenue from a muscle-shirt cavemen who wants to keep a lion in the living room. Can you say ban!

Second, Mr. muscle-shirt will not attend training and if he does, who will train him. Who will pay for the trainers?

No matter the crisis, government's first impulse is to look for a revenue opportunity, offset by a bigger government response.

Note to government.

Nobody wants tigers in the basement.

Ban! Simple. The legislation would be less than a paragraph. No extra bureaucrats involved in inspecting, training and issuing fines. Your cleaning lady could write the law

Last word. Today, on the Big Flea ( Top Dog) I heard a lady from the American SPCA say " There are more Indian Tigers in American basements than living in the jungles of India".

Oi vey!

The madness continues.


A boulevardier

Guest Editorial from V.

When watching Tim Dailey's riff on the arrogance of New York's priapic slogan, I couldn't help but think about British Columbia's modest official motto, no less, "The Greatest Place on Earth"." Oh really", I whispered. " Sorry I wasted money on world travel."

I live with a Chinese woman. She saw this slogan one day and asked if we really believed that.

Think of it. China. Five time zones. Deserts to tropics. Temples to mega malls. I blushed. I said I had only visited a mere 41 countries and I wasn't sure but maybe somebody in Victoria knows something I don't. I added that since 49 per cent of the people in Vancouver are visible minorities, I hope they don't feel ashamed of their homeland just because we have a wanker's slogan. She assured me that she will still love her birth country and that perhaps there should not be a competition where we declare ourselves in first place.

We love to diss the "Ugly American".

But could you imagine standing up in a cafe in Venice, Lyon, Brussels, Vienna or Stockholm and announce to the patrons.

" Hi, I'm a modest Canadian from British Columbia and I live in the GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH. Aren't you dorks sorry that you live in inferior places? Now let's drink beer and watch hockey."

Maybe before 2010,when the world visits BC, we might consider a slogan with a little modesty. Does Greece have a motto that says " We brought democracy to inferior, sweating classes". Would Iraq have a slogan that said " We had medical schools when Europeans were living with their pigs." Does China have a 2008 slogan that says " Your grandchildren's income depends on our economy and by the way, we were a magnificent culture when your race had bones in your noses."

Or maybe BC First Nations could adopt a slogan such as " You separated us from Nature, but we never signed a separation agreement."

David, if you have a media mailing list, please pass this on. In BC today, the oracle is Bill Goo. I call him BobbleBill. . Why? Because he bounces from radio, to TV, to BC business without anybody stopping to say, " Bobblebill has a shiny surface but he's either dense or empty". Pick both.

A Boulevardier