Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Job App

I will be available in January 2009; I am willing to relocate.


1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520


Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My
Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available.

I joined the
Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

I graduated from
Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.


I ran for
U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in
Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the
Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of


I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the
Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of
Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.


I am the first President in
U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the
U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in
U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in
U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire,' Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time
U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in
U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the
U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in
U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in history.

I changed
U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the
United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in
U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the
U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the
U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to
U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election)

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in
U.S. history

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the
U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of
U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.


All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

'Splain Me, Will Ya?

Could you explain something to me, please.

Yesterday - or was it the day before? - I saw six women on CNN.

They were a little make-shift panel of middle-aged, middle-class white and black women who are all voting for Hillary Clinton to be the Democratic nominee.

So far, so good. No problemo. Got it. Good. Fine.

Now, they are asked, "So what if Hillary is finished? What if Obama takes the nomination?"

One of these otherwise seeming reasonable sane persons says, "I'll vote for the Democratic nominee."

Which is what I would expect from six Democrats.

But, no.

Hark. Five of these lunatics say, "I'll vote for McCain."


Gleek! Tilt!


I'm completely lost, horn-swoggled, tied up in knots.

You see, sputter, mumble, gag...

I'm of the persuasion that can't understand for one nano-second that a person disguised as a sentient human being voted for Nixon or Bush.

So, when five nice ladies who are sworn Democratic card-carrying members, say that if there is no Hillary, they will be voting for this pathetic old Republican geek, I, uh, well, hm....


Robert Werner's 76 year old Mother Gets it - Why Can't the Government?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Mom's Letter to Tony Clement, Federal Minister of Health

The Honourable Tony Clement
Minister of Health
Minister's Office - Health Canada
Brooke Claxton Building, Tunney's Pasture
Postal Locator: 0906C
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
K1A 0K9

Dear Sir,

I am a retired nurse and a senior citizen. I’m also a volunteer visitor counselor at Tourism Vancouver, giving out information to tourists visiting our city. You may be surprised to learn that a growing number of these visitors are well informed about Vancouver being the Drug Capital of Canada. When they want to visit Chinatown we have to advise them about the safest routes to walk there. We also warn them not to give money to panhandlers and to be aware of their surroundings at all times. If traveling by car, we urge them to leave nothing visible inside their vehicles. This is the sad reality of life in Vancouver in 2008.

I live in the South Granville neighbourhood. It’s supposedly one of the better ones in the city and yet I have countless panhandlers asking me for spare change daily. I now carry a pocket alarm which I will set off if I’m ever threatened. This is the sad reality of life in Vancouver in 2008.

The law-abiding citizens in our cities have to now be concerned with which restaurants they can eat at safely, which nightclubs they can go to safely, and which streets they can walk down when the sun goes dim. This is the sad reality of life in Vancouver in 2008.

The common thread running through most of these problems is severe drug abuse. I therefore plead with you to close the free needle terror that is Insite. It is not helping drug users get better but is only prolonging their misery. I fully realize that there are a lot of political forces that claim that Insite is helping to “reduce harm” but it is a huge fallacy. Those proponents like Larry Campbell and Philip Owen should be ashamed of themselves.

Please convert this facility into a Recovery Detox Centre for the endless number of drug addicts in Vancouver. And then set up more in all of our municipalities. I do know there are treatment centres in Prince George and Bowen Island. We need many more!

One Note Gord

I very much like Jim Sinclair's op-ed piece in the Sun today.

Sinclair is the President of the BC Federation of Labour and a good friend.

He chronicled the sins and omissions of Gordon Campbell.

Cost of living, wages, child care, homeless, forestry, Bill 42...it's all there.

And I agree with Sinclair's take whole-heartedly.

One day in our lifetimes, we may actually see a government in BC that is not so ideologically polarized. One day there might be an administration that favours business and social good at the same time.

Imagine that.

As the song goes, "Well, I can dream, can't I?"

Hand Outs

Like most of you, I don't usually give money to those who ask for it on the street.

Yesterday, was one of those rare days when I changed my little "policy."

There is a guy in our neighbourhood who is ugly and scary looking. He exudes "darkness." He wears black and he has a heavy dark barely shaved beard and a crooked toothed smile.

He is clearly suffering from some mental disorder.

But, if you've been around this neck of the woods long enough, you will know that this man is harmless. In fact, he is hard working when given the opportunity.

Many merchants on 10th Avenue routinely pay him to clean the street and sidewalks in front of their shops.

I have no idea where or how he lives.

Yesterday he asked me for some change. I didn't have my little change purse with me, so I declined. He said he was hungry and he needed some food. I walked away - about five or ten paces. I stopped and turned around and he turned around at the same time.

I went back and put a five dollar bill in his hand.

I can't really afford to give people five dollar bills, at least not regularly.

But this guy is a part of our neighbourhood. It just felt like a reasonable thing to do.

I'm not telling you what a swell fellow I am. Far from it.

I am saying that sometimes the little rules and policies we adopt for ourselves need some elbow room.

Making a Killing from the Food Crisis

Please watch this Real News video report.

It's an important antidote to the usual flimsy coverage and it's criminal in the deepest meaning of the word.