Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Death of Comedy

Bob Newhart never swore on stage.

He didn't have to.

But he and a few others are the exceptions.

Most so-called stand-up comedians today are Trash Talkers.

Fuck, shit, poop, dink.

And that's just for openers.

So two women go into a club that's featuring an open mike night of comedians.

What did they expect - the Pope's blessing?

So they heckle the comedian-MC, who quickly discerns that the two women are lesbians.

Look out!

What did they expect - a wedding celebration?

They're in a trashy low-down comedy club joint and they are aggressive hecklers and lesbians.


The trashy low-talking jiving MC, of course, starts calling them "dykes."

Like they've never heard this word before and appropriated it for themselves with honour, as in "We are righteous dykes, so back off."

All of this horrible, shocking important incident in the black history of Canada happened 3 years ago and now, one of the injured women has taken her complaint to the B.C. Human Rights Commission.

Now is where we need a real comedian.

If ever there was a good argument for the dissolution of this august body - the BC Human Rights Inquisition - this is it.

The MC's lawyer has walked out in disgust saying that "this tribunal is proceeding against the rule of law."

That may or may not be the case.

But it is certainly against all good common sense.

This idiocy and waste of time and public money may soon find itself in front of the BC Supreme Court.

Please spend public money on dental care for poor children and stop the bullshit.

Aren't We Bold?

The Prime Minister's idea of a revolution in parliamentary reform is to limit Senate appointments to 8 years.

Oh, brother.

Remember the whole Triple E platform?

The only good answer to the rot that is called The Senate is to abolish it.

Please point out to me One Good Thing this austere body has produced in the last 30 years.

To keep Mike Duffy and Larry Campbell safely off the streets costs Canadian taxpayers about $1,000,000 a year each.

Please spend that money on dental care for poor children, and ask Mike and Larry to go to summer camp at their folk's expense.


"This is our chance for a green, urban casino."


This man should be writing for The Simpsons.

Unfortunately, he is our City Planning Director.

His name is Brent Toderian and he is speaking, of course, of Gordon's latest Toy, the Big Kahuna Caper on Pacific Boulevard, which we discussed here last Saturday.

Was Brent being particularly clever in calling this piece of public drek "our chance?"

Is he familiar with the traditional list of oxymorons to which he might add, "green urban casino?"

Like, military intelligence
Catholic university
happy marriage
liquor control board

She can Sing!