Friday, November 9, 2007

BIrthday Suits in Surrey - Or, The Surrey with the Fringe on Top

Now, I've been doing this blog since last December, and I discovered Surveys about 5 or 6 months ago.

But I've got to tell you that nobody made me laugh so hard as the wag who answered today's survey on THE SENATE with this "other" contribution:

The senate should .......swim nude in Surrey!

Murder on 5th Avenue - New York. that is

You can't write material like this.

If the writers for "Law and Order" were still at work, they would be screaming for the rights to this story.

What makes it perfect is the coda that Elton John is preparing a memorial for the victim.

Transclunk Crashes Again

It must have been about ten years ago that I returned from a visit to Washington, DC and reported on the efficiencies of the subway system there.

You pay according to the distance you will travel to get into the system.

You hold onto your ticket.

You punch the ticket to get out.

If you haven't paid enough (because you have travelled farther than you said you would) the turn style tells you to go pay more money before it will let you out.

You turn 10 feet to your left, pay another 50 cents or whatever, and the turn style lets you go visit the Smithsonian.

BUT Transclunk in all its accumulated wisdom went with the "honor" system. Hahahahaha...

Now that genius of all geniuses, Malcolm Brodie announces a retrofit for fare gates - but no turn styles.

Of course, it will cost hundreds of millions of your dollars. Of course, the fares will rise.

ICBC Too Successful

How happy can we be to learn that ICBC has turned a half BILLION dollar profit?

It's nice that it's not losing money.

But a HALF BILLION profit?

Maybe my famous Roadstar rate could be cut in half?

Nakedness. Nudity, Yech! Not here you don't, you perv

Nudity seems to be an important issue for British Columbians.

The Sun reports that the altogether ("in their altogethers") calm and harmless book, "Wreck Beach," is just too much for the crude, rude travellers on BC Ferries, so it's been ditched.

But yesterday, my friend Jonathan Baker tells me that his junior law partner just triumphed over the burghers of Surrey, who couldn't stand the idea of nude swimming in one of their local pools. Late at night with closed windows for a nudist group. Shocking.

Read the whole SkinnyDipper decision here.

Funny, I seem to remember swimming nude at the YMHA in Winnipeg regularly when I was a boy...but that was the enlightened '50s in Winnipeg.

And while we're on the subject of "swimming pools in Surrey," how about the City of Surrey changing its policy such that an 80-year old man who has been swimming and using the gym for free, now has to pay?

How stupid, how petty, how without vision are these people?

If an 80-year old man uses the gym and pool every day, he is staying healthy and thus saving the community thousands of dollars in health care costs.

But some mandarin, mad with power, decides we should charge this veteran.

They should pay him!

James Taylor Sings Paul Simon