Friday, February 13, 2009

Write Your Own Photo Caption


Everyone in Canada from your neighbourhood green grocer to your chief of police decries the failure of our courts to provide public protection from lunatics and bad guys.

This, of course, stems from the central (Canada) belief that there are no bad guys - only the severely misunderstood. Even the worst amongst us, the fuzzy-headed thinking goes, can rise from their slightly naughty behaviour to become...well, why not Senators?

Here today is the classic textbook case for how our criminal injustice system is entirely out of synch with the real world.

Omar Bulphred has done a few things lately.

Here's what he's done.

He firebombed a Jewish Community Centre in Montreal. He's not very good at what he does. No one -baruch hashem (God be praised) - was hurt.

He had plans to firebomb the Montreal Stock Exchange.

He had plans to randomly kidnap and perhaps cut the throat of a gay man - any gay man - "like a chicken."

He had plans to bomb a nuclear plant and a military base.

He threw one of his fizzling useless bombs at a Jewish Boys School.


Got the picture?

Now, here's his punishment, consequences, reward.

Quebec Court Judge Louise Boudreau - a genius among geniuses - gave Omar a sentence of seven years. for time served, leaving The Mad Incompetent Bomber a remaining sentence of 40 months.

For the chronically slow, that's a little over 3 years and a couple of spring blossoms.

Soon, Omar, the Universal Hater, will be back on St. Catherine's Street looking for more copies of "Bombing for Dummies."

Is it dreadfully unfair to ask why this #$%^&*@ hasn't been confined to a tiny metal box for life?


Public life often effects language in interesting ways.

Here's a quote from a young Vancouverite about recent gunfire in his neighbourhood. To be more precise, a shooting yesterday that led to the discovery of a 23-year old man dead from gunshot wounds in a nearby basement suite last night.

The quote:

"The area is pretty safe, although it's not unusual to hear gunshots maybe once every couple of months."

- What the heck was that, Barney? - Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, Helen. It's April 16th. Just your regular right as rain gunfire, Sweetie. Now, give me some more of those precious apple dumplings of yours.


City Manager, Penny Ballem, has hired Bruce Tidball to oversee the completion of the Olympic Village project.

This is a good move, and the Ballem and City Council are to be congratulated for the simple practical wisdom in this hire.

It occurred to me yesterday afternoon as I was wheeling around the area and seeing the site that in time this will be a finished development and we will all enjoy walking and cycling by it along False Creek.

The only question that will linger is the final cost to Vancouver citizens.


There is much in life that I don't understand.

Arson is right at the top of the list.

I think firebugs are completely crazy insane dogs who should be tied up with ropes and masking tape and left on chairs for life.

All of Australia is reeling from the horrifying fires in Victoria around Melbourne. To date, the death toll is 181 and counting.

In the midst of this tragedy we learn that someone or some several have deliberately set fires.

Honestly this kind of behaviour leaves me slack-jawed.

Read the details and see the videos from here.

Vancouver Story?

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey .. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a. m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Vinnie