Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Blog Nudges Council - Ooga-booga!

Mr Berner,

Just wanted to let you know that your posting of the NY times editorial on the NY fruit + vegetable carts helped inspire the latest Vision motion:



The Civil City

Let us all bow our heads in thanks to The Mayor for his most fabulous accomplishment - The Civil City.


That was so much in evidence this weekend when a dope fiend stole family rings from the hands of an old lady at VGH.

Then, let us thank the Harm Seduction people and the Insite people and the NAOMI people and all the other enabling fools who hate it when I speak of "dope fiends," and who rush to "help" cretins at every turn.

There are few creatures on earth lower than a using addict.

The only solution is abstinence. If you don't know that by now, you don't know anything.

There is nothing a using dope fiend won't do, nobody they won't offend, no standard they won't disappoint.

This poor old lady is 91. She just had her leg amputated.

And, not as if this is news.

We have all known for far too long that just about the most dangerous place on earth today is a hospital. If the heart attack that brought you in doesn't kill you, then the bacteria and viruses that swarm through the wards will, or the lunatics and thieves who work the wards will.

St. Paul's Emergency, for example, has long been given over in its entirety to dope fiends. You don't want anyone taking you there. With your last dying breath, you must tell the ambulance driver to take you to VGH, at least.

A friend at UBC hospital with a heart problem promptly lost $300 dollars from his wallet.

Now, you have to remember that when you have that emergency, bring no money, no rings, watches or other valuables. Ram your cell phone up your ass, and keep all other important documents in your cheeks.

Again, thank you, Mr. Mayor for another winning strategy - The Civil City.

Ah, I'm sleeping so much better today.

Alberta, The Dumb

Alberta is such a testament to the power of democracy. A grand total of 41% turned out to vote in the provincial election on Monday.

If you ever have the misfortune to live in Alberta (I did twice, in Edmonton, in 1974 and 1992, both times for exactly one year to the hateful day.), you will notice at once how often Albertans tell you how great Alberta is.

There is no question that Edmonton is one of the flat ugliest cities in the world. That is, until you get to Calgary. Yikes!

You should be real scared if your company transfers you to Alberta. A sovereign state that boasts less than half of its eligible voters exercising its franchise is a place to be avoided at all costs.

Brett Favre, Over and Out

He holds just about every record a Quarteback in the NFL could hold: passes completed, yards, touchdowns, 3000-yard consecutive seasons, starts, MVP awards and, yes, even interceptions.

What cannot be numbered was his child-like boyish crazy-man enthusiasm for the contest.

It's been a great ride and anybody who has had the privilege to watch it has to say, "May Life bring you an equal riches in retirement. Thanks and best wishes, Brett."