JACKO GOIN' 'SLAM

Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert eat your ironic little hearts out! You or anyone else cannot write satire this good.

"...they were violating our little girl."

The clash of Human Rights is front and centre today. In two separate - but equal? - fronts, my rights vs. your rights vs. the rights of the community are in combat, thus raising questions as old as human history.

Let's get to the second story first.

In Regina, "the rights of a same-sex couple to marry faced off Wednesday against the rights of a Saskatchewan marriage commissioner who said he couldn't perform the service because of his religious beliefs." (The Vancouver Sun.)

Orville Nichols, the marriage commissioner, is a 70-year old Baptist who said that "performing same-sex marriages goes directly against all he knows."

While we all have a right to our opinions, there is something that Mr. Nichols apparently does not know. He is an officer of the law; and the law, in this case tells us, and him, that men can marry men and women can marry women in the sovereign state of Saskatchewan, whether some of us like it or not. Now, you and I may agree or disagree with this law, but that is at best idle popcorn chatter. We are not, most of us, officers of the law, or, except in our desire to be exemplary citizens, representatives of the state. Mr. Nichols is different. As are M.J. and B.R., the two gay men in search of a compliant marriage commissioner.

Mr. Nichols has a dreadful choice. He can offend his own, most deeply held, beliefs and do his job...or he can resign his duties and seek employment elsewhere. A friend of mine failed first year University because the crucial exam he needed to write and pass was scheduled for a Saturday morning, the Jewish Sabbath. We might question the practical wisdom of this decision, but we certainly cannot fault my friend for loyalty and observance.

The complexities and the stakes of the first story make it by far the more difficult to embrace.

A local couple are the proud and anxious parents of sextuplets. Two babies have already died.
A third child was seized by the provincial authorities on Monday evening to be given what the doctors believed to be an essential, life-saving blood transfusion. The parents are Jehovah's Witnesses, who deeply and utterly believe that the Bible in several declarations states that Christians must "abstain from blood."

This is hardly the first time the rights of believers and the rights of communities to protect children have collided. Such encounters appear with frightening regularity world-wide each year.

What makes this conflict all the more salient and compelling in February 2007 is the large context created by terrorism, civil wars, and the struggles of societies made newly "diverse" by large waves of immigration.

In France, the controversy rages over whether girls may wear head scarves to school, highlighting the clash in values between secular Europeans and fundamentalist Muslim immigrants.

In Holland, immigration officials are showing films and brochures that promote "European" values including equality of the sexes and tolerance of homosexuality, the clear suggestion being that if you want to live in our country, you have to accept these ideas.

Riots in Paris suburbs and arrests of London bombers and beheaders add to the flames.

Here, in a small town in Quebec, signs have gone up spelling out the do's and don'ts of local life - no concealing masks or scarves, for example.

In a country which prides itself on multiculturalism and diversity to the extent that we Canadians think we've practically invented these notions and that we are the strongest guards at the gate, in such a country, many thousands are still enraged that Mounties and motorcyclists can wear turbans rather than caps and helmets, and that children can wear ceremonial daggers to school.

Each of us, I believe, is tested daily in our ability to absorb and accommodate the unfamiliar. We are especially challenged to resist labelling, banishing and punishing that which we do not know.
Like many Western people, I do not like to see people in front of me in public wearing "masks," even if these shields have some religious significance. I want to see the person to whom I am speaking. I also don't want to see women subjugated to roles of lesser status, even if that is the tradition of a particular religion.

So you might rightly say, "Well, David, that's just too bad for you. That's your problem."

And you would be right. it's my problem that I have these reactions. But it is also your problem and yours and yours and yours and ours.

My own perception is that Jehovah's Witnesses have fundamentally misunderstood the directive they always quote in the Bible, which says, "abstain from blood."

I further believe that blood transfusion is a standard practice of modern medicine that not only makes sense, but saves lives both directly and in allowing complex procedures like heart surgery.

But I cannot tell you what to believe.

Where is Solomon when we really need him?

WE TOLD YOU SO

Three stories in the local paper are echoes of articles we have posted here in the past month. In two cases, they are subjects about which we have ranted in public for years. It's gratifying to see that the Official Word is catching on.

1. "Jobs prove elusive: Foreign trained professionals often find government regulations and powerful professional associations make it tough to become accredited."

2. "Councillors seek way to save Cheapskates."

3. "Hospital funding system blamed for waiting lists. Pay for each procedure rather than grant bulk budget, medical association head says. This is all about measuring outcomes."

Our blog is now 7 unwieldy pages long and counting. However, all 3 of our original posts on these subjects are linked below.

WE ONLY GET WHAT WE DESERVE OR WANT?

A guest editorial from The Ottawa Citizen reprinted in today's Vancouver Sun is one of the most peculiar in recent memory.

It is essentially a fantasy based on a fallacy.

The headline hollars, "Banks aren't committing highway robbery."

And the author (unrevealed) argues that NDP leader Jack Layton is full of it because he wants the banks to stop charging their $1.50 "convenience fee" every time you withdraw $40 at the ATM. The author (unrevealed) sinks immediately to argumentum ad hominum (calling people names instead of presenting compelling reasoning) and describes Mr. Layton's behaviour as, "playing his customary role as faux populist." The cat is immediately out of the bag. The editorial author (Did I mention that he or she is unrevealed?) clearly has some Jack Problem and he's determined to let us know it.

The argument then is that the banks charge this fee because we want them to charge this fee. This solipsism is axiomatic to the writer (whoever he or she may be) because if we really didn't want to pay this fee we could hide our cash under the mattress. HUH?

Here's a mysterious quote: "Are gas prices fair? They must be, or else people would change their habits so as to not pay them." DOUBLE HUH?

With logic like this, the Titanic, it could be argued, is resting comfortably in the eye of the moon.

The banks, the author states, are convenient targets. We are crying for them already, are we not?

Clearly, in this writer's universe, we all watch the unwatchable drek that passes for entertainment on TV because we adore it, we all listen to the uniformly dull that passes for radio because we can't have enough of it, and we are not searching the internet daily for alternates to the local rag because the rag sates our need for information and debate. Right.

And like you, I am breathless from running to my ATM to happily surrender my $1.50 to the shareholders of MegaImpersonalMarbleFloored Bank because that's absolutely the best use of my resources today. Amen.

AUTO FUELS CORN WAR$

Corn.

Perhaps even more than rice, corn is one of the most abundant, grown, used and abused agri-products on earth today.

It is estimated that an average so-called "meal" of a Big Mac, fries and a Coke accounts for an acre or more of corn growth and processing. The cow is fed corn and corn derivatives, the potatoes are fried in corn oil and the soft drink is largely corn syrup. Without corn, MacDonald's doesn't exist.

Now, in our continued obsession with the privacy and primacy of our SUV's and roadsters, with our terror of being beholden to the sheiks of Eastern Oil, we turn to "alternate fuels." High on the list is ethanol.

So far, so good. Very Suziki.

But then, enter the tortilla.

Today, we learn that the lowly tortilla, a staple of the Mexican diet for millions of people for lord knows how many hundreds or thoursands of years is under seige. This might be the stuff of sketch comedy were it not true and a disaster.

The price of tortillas in Mexico has doubled in less than a year. Try to imagine the price of our bread or milk or eggs taking the same leap. But even that analogy is not strong enough. Because, the minimum wage in Mexico is in the range of $5/day! Half the population of Mexico has never been accounted for as they are various ancient Indian tribes living in the mountains. Poverty, untabulated in rural areas and in your face in the cities, is commonplace.

Will the new administration of Mr. Calderon cap the price of corn? Will auto makers turn more boldly to alternate power that depends less on natural resources, whether found or grown? Will you and I step ever so unwillingly from our seperate music studios hurtling through space to more communal modes of transportation? Will local governments ever meet that need?

HEALTH CARE AILING

One firing, two resignations. And that's just in the past 3 weeks.

Make no mistake about it - British Columbia's Health Care, which accounts for half of all provincial spending, is in crisis. Even the near-Billion Dollar top-up from Finance Minister Carole Taylor won't do the trick.

First it was the Deputy Health Minister, Dr. Penny Ballem who walked. She warned Premier Campbell that his plans for rejuvenating the system were unsound.

Then, last Wednesday, Health Minister George Abbott, back from a vacation barely long enough to put away the paba oil for another year, fired Trevor Johnstone, the chairman of the Vancouver Coastal Health Authority.

And last night, Keith Purchase, the chairman of the Fraser Health Authority, walked out.

All three of these people were recruited by the Premier. All are seasoned professionals, and in the case of Johnstone and Purchase, business executives with winning track records in the private sector.

All three have said there is not enough money in the system.

That may, indeed, be so.

But are there not some other core issues that neither the Premier nor the Health Minister have the wit or courage to address?

The first problem is the 5 regional Health Authorities and one provincial authority themselves. Are they not yet another needless, expensive, meddling level of bureaucracy needed by absolutely no one? This current obsession in government local, provincial and federal, with "an integrated approach" is getting us all nowhere at lightening speed.

Hospitals are big enough and stiff enough with paper that grouping 4 or 5 hospitals in a locale together under a centralized authority only adds to the waste of essential resources - money, people and time. Let hospitals be responsible. Let them be answerable. If they're not doing the job or over-spending or buying the wrong stents, then let the province deal with them.

The Regional Health Authorities do for the Provincial Governments exactly what School Boards do. They provide a Fall Guy when the stuff hits the fan.

The second problem is that nobody - and that includes doctors, hospitals, health boards, or the provincial or federal governments - is willing to eyeball the costs of service.

At Jiffy Lube, the operator knows how much a gasket costs him and he knows how much it costs him to install one in your car. If he didn't, he'd have to close his bay doors.

But we are absolutely unwilling to assess the cost of an angioplasty or hip replacement. We know how many surgeons, nurses, orderlies, and cleaners we'll need. We know the cost of the equipment used and the equipment installed and the equipment discarded, the costs of the tubes, gasses, cylinders, etc.

Why then the reluctance to say an open heart procedure will cost the commonweal $6,718.43 or whatever the amount truly is? When Ujjal Dosanj was the Federal Health Minister, he said openly on the radio with me that this kind of accounting was impossible.

I would say it is impossible if you want it to be!

We may in fact need to transfuse our health care system with more green. But we might start with a little grey matter and a lot of vigorous red-blooded honesty.

YOUR COMMENTS, PLEASE.

DOING THE, DOING THE PHARMACEUTICAL RAG

This is the way we sell our drugs, sell our drugs, sell our drugs.

This is the way we sell our drugs, so earlie in the morning.

When will the public and the media awaken to their silent complicity in the marketing of useless and over-prescribed and dangerous poisons?

In Ottawa today, we have the story of Health Canada (another riotous, self-satirizing oxymoron) approving a new pill to help you stop smoking. The only problem is that the Doctor who conducted the trials and wrote the report that resulted in Health Canada's approvals was on the payroll of Pfizer, the multi-billion dollar pharma-giant who will market the product.

This is an on-going story that emerges with startling regularity at Bethesda, Mayland's National Institute of Health and like research factories around the globe.

Keep in mind that the number one business in the world today is armaments. Guns, bullets, tanks, jets, we kindly humans just can't get enough of them.

In terms of pure dollar traded value, quickly after armaments march oil and legal and illegal drugs. Pick yer poison.

But from Toronto comes this pernicious bit of sideshow hucksterism posing as a "science report." "Drug cocktail doubles rates of recovery from depression, study finds." The article tells us the lie that has been told so many times it is now taken for the truth - "five million Canadians suffer from depression." Nonsense. It then goes on to encourage our gullible stupid consuming selves that if only we would take our anti-depressant along with a sedative, well then - presto, change-o, we'll all be Debbie Reynolds, or, at the least, Marie Von Trapp.

Dont kid yourself, Dear Bloggsters. The hills are alive with bullshit and its your sovereign duty to watch where you step.

10 MILLION MORE REASONS TO NOT VOTE LIBERAL

Federal Liberal leader Stephane Dion, armed with absolutely no knowledge whereof he speaks, said Thursday about Vancouver's Safe Injection site, "It's a pilot project which seems to be quite a success."

"...seems to be quite a success." Hm...

Here's a small notion for you, Steph. In matters of urgent public policy, you might try study and enquiry. They don't always work, Baby, but they're usually a mite more satisfactory than shooting from the hip.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"...I actually don't have a clue..."

IMPORTANT THOUGHT

If Barry Gilpin of Cheapskates fame were actually making a fortune receiving stolen goods - which he is NOT - then he would have to tell City Hall that he is a card-carrying member of the Fencers' Union, or as it is colloquially known,

F. U.

THE JOYS OF POSTING

FOUR POSTS TODAY, Boys & Girls. Clearly I am a man with time on his hands. Should I ever find work that pays, who knows what could happen to this beknighted blog.

Immediately below is a crazy young rock band. Watch, listen, dance and draw your own conclusions. You'll be right, I promise you.

Then, a monologue about ENABLING and the Fools on the Hill...

Followed by The Continuing Adventures of Young George and the Holy War.

Enjoy them all. Add your comments. Go crazy and order that sesame seed bagel with extra butter.

Live. It's later than you think.

Die Mannequin Autumn Cannibalist

TO ENABLE, verb transitive

Recent articles herein, while at opposite ends of other fields, share common threads.

My story about Cheapskates and my several entries about Vancouver Mayor Sam Sullivan and addictions could all be wrapped in the holiday basket called "Enabling."

Cheapskates is that 4-store fixture of the Dunbar neighbourhood, which, for 20 years has been taking in old sports equipment and selling it at marvelously affordable prices (Imagine you have 2 kids who play hockey and another who skis or figure skates; so marry your bank manager already!) The mandarins at City Hall are forcing owner Barry Gilpin to close the stores with onerous and dim-witted new regulations.

We are pleased to see that the story has "gained legs." The Vancouver Sun had no less than a column, an editorial and a Letter to the Editor on the subject. Call it Barry Gilpin Day.

What has this to do with our Blog Title? Simple. One of the many roles of City hall should be/is to create the possibilities for the entreprenurial spirit, to encourage sound business, and especially SMALL BUSINESS, which, many of us continue to believe is the backbone of the economy and the tax base.

Of course, the stories of City Halls across this second-tier nation defeating, deflating and defibrillating the heartbeats of mom-and-pop shops and new initiatives are legendary. The False Creek Ferries, which are an enormous success, and which had to fight tooth and nail to open for business back in 1986 on time for Expo is a classic example of governments doing everything in their power NOT to enable.

On the other hand (as Tevye would say), we have The Nutty Professor, a.k.a. the Mayor of Vancouver doing everything in his power, as did the mayor before him and the mayor before him, to ENABLE addicts to continue merrily along in their addictions. Give 'em dope, give 'em heroin, give 'em substitute cocaine and meth, give 'em needles, give 'em HUGE EXPENSIVE COLOR POSTERS ON THE WALL EXPLAINING HOW TO INJECT.

Why is City hall so confused? Why do they have their asses sewn on to their shoulders?

Where did these little lambs lose their way? Why did we elect them? Was it something in the water?

WHO LISTENS?

Bush says "No." And Vice-President Dick Cheney adds, "It won't stop us."

Please read this New York Times article for the latest from Oz. The Wiz continues his breathtaking assualt on reality and common sense and decency - which, you have to admit it, is quite a trifecta.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/25/washington/25capital.html?ex=157680000&en=6628350f36899565&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

THE CELLAR JAZZ CLUB

Although I am not a dedicated habitue, I can unreservedly recommend Vancouver's Cellar Jazz Club as one of the best joints in North America for wonderful food and drink and great, great music. Cory Weeds and his partners have been fine-tuning their establishment for several years now. The musicians, whether local or international, are to a man and woman virtuosi stars.

Try it. You'll like it a lot!

HOW GORGEOUS IS PENELOPE CRUZ?

How gorgeous is Penelope Cruz?

Penelope Cruz is SO gorgeous that a gay friend of mine says he loves her breasts!!!

Now that's gorgeous.

JOURNALISM OR OBSENITY?

Yesterday, I thought the world had come to an end. The Headline in the Vancouver Sun newspaper was so bold and so large and so simple, I thought it was the return of the Plague. "DAY ONE" was the trumpet announcement.

This morning we found this: "He murdered them, he butchered them and he disposed of their remains."

Now clearly the trial of a man who is alleged to have killed 6 women, and who most of us believe has killed at least 30, is worthy of coverage. It is big, it is expensive, it is full of lurid and horrible detail. And the job of a newspaper is to report on exactly such atrocities in our communities.

But this?

Page after page of photos and diagrams.

SOON I WILL ADD A DAILY POLL FUNCTION TO THE BLOG.

But, until then, you tell me: The Sun coverage is 1) excellent? 2) way over the top? 3) beyond hysterical? 4) appropriate? or 5) an abandonment of all reason.

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT ALSO....

In this morning's rant on The Nutty Professor, I forgot to mention how Mayor Sam has not only been deceiving us, which is, of course, required for a politician, but in the matter of addictions, he has taken to deceiving himelf as well!

You see, Sam would be the first to tell us that he is a stone cold realist. It is a central part of how he has heroically and admirably dealt with his quardaplegia. He rose from a hospital bed to be the holder of some 50 patents for devices to aid the disabled. He is the founder and executive of a dozen organizations to enable the disabled. He sails and sleeps at the top of mountains.

Yet, somehow, in this one peculiar area of addictions, crime and homelessness, he suffers from MAGIC THINKING.

Is it realistic to believe that in one fell swoop you can cure the community of these hydra-headed ills? When did social change ever occur on such a monumental scale? Human progress, like football games, is measured in inches. We fix a little here; we move the marble along the path a little there.

Maybe Chairman Mao, maybe FDR's New Deal, maybe the founding of the State of Isreal, maybe the formation of the United States, maybe The Simpsons.

But this? Give yer head a shake, young feller...

MOST DANGEROUS MAN IN TOWN

He's delusional.

Listen to this:

"I'm reluctant to go aggressively on enforcement issues until we have dealt with the social side of things. In the next while, I intend to prepare the police for their role in that."

I am sure that Police Chief Jamie Graham will be heartened to learn that the Mayor will soon be teaching his men and women on the beat a thing or two about how to do their jobs. Who even knew that Sam was a police instructor?

In The Nutty Professor's latest public pronouncement - Thank God, somewhat secod-fiddled to the Vancouver Sun's screeching 90-point front pager on a certain criminal trial - we learn that He, in his Infinite Wisdom will eliminate drug addiction, crime and homelessness, and all before the opening ceremonies in Ripped Roof Hall.

The core of N. Prof's Massive Solution is to provide "at least" 700 cocaine and crystal-meth addicts with some kind of substitute drugs. Which "substitute drugs" are among the many details not made clear by Sullivan.

But, let me ask you this, dear friends and defenders of the last fading shards of sanity and reasonableness. Are you prepared to give drunks free and cheap scotch? Are you prepared to add that expense to your tax rolls? Are you standing in line to provide child molesters with the names, addresses and cell numbers of adorable young children? Are Ford and Toyota participating in a Give-Away program for chronic car thieves?

What is at the centre of Sam's horribly misguided vision is not only a moral issue. The key is that he and so many other like him utterly do not understand the basic dynamics of addictions.

Fine. Give dope to dope fiends. Good luck.

If you have even the most passing knowledge of the issue, then you know that what addicts want is MORE. More drugs, more sex, more doctors, more social workers, more kneedles, pizzas, beer, housing, you name it. There simply is never enough. You can give Jack or Jane Junkie their supervised fix at 11 am, and by 12:15, he/she is in the alley scoring and shooting MORE.

Your aged Aunt Agnes, 73 and ailing, must pay for her needles to inject the insulin she needs to combat the diabetes she as after a lifetime of raising 2 generations of family, paying taxes and driving kids to soccer practice and orchestra rehearsal.

But I should pay for Senor Dope Fiend to have free needles, drugs and rooming?

I would ask you to think again, Sam, if, in fact, thinking on this subject is something of which you are capable.

BROWNBACK MOUNTAIN???

The following paragraph is a direct quote from the New York Times online this Sunday morning.

"Mr. Brownback, an evangelical Protestant turned Roman Catholic and a former Kansas agriculture secretary, said he would focus on reviving faith and families in America; combating abortion, poverty and wasteful government spending; opposing same-sex marriage; and revamping Social Security and the federal tax system. "

The perfectly named Mr. Brownback - after whom no mountains are currently named - was greeted with cheers from an adoring throng.

You can't write material like this. Reality is always funnier.

And you think you have to watch Science Fiction to scare yourself?