ADVICE TO BUSH - WATCH MORE MOVIES

Mr. Idiotpants has ordered a fresh round of American death flesh, 21,000 young men to be exact. In addition, many thousands of soldiers scheduled to leave Iraq for the home shores have been told to forget it, suck it up and die a little more.

It now seems clearly impossible to impress on this dangerous fool what most of us have known for a long time - THIS IS THE WRONG WAR BEING FOUGHT THE WRONG WAY.

Every good student of insurgency and counter-insurgency - and that includes no end of dirt-in-the-crotch military experts as well as academics and think-tankers - has stressed that this is a war of hearts and minds. Never has the adage KNOW THY ENEMY been more salient.

For Mr. Bushleague, we prescribe a steady diet of David Lean's great epic movie, "Lawrence of Arabia." Of course, it's a great film, but that's hardly the point.

Perhaps, if Mr. Bush and Ms. Rice and their deranged, misguided lot, were to watch this entertainment, say, a biblical seven days and seven nights, they might latch on to one of the story's central themes: While the British military in Cairo built squash courts and shot billiards in the officers' mess, T. E. Lawrence went into the desert, met the dazzling array of Arab tribes, ate their food, rode the camels and, in time, led the Arab revolt against the conquering Turks.

The American embassy in Baghdad, one thousand strong we are told, has precisely 6 people who speak the local language.

All the guns and grenades in the world will not do the trick in Iraq. More boys from Iowa dying in the dust will not speed the peace.

God help us all.