BED PAN ALLEY

You gots to love the songwriters in Victoria. They're churning out those mega-hits day after day. Numbers like, "On Budget & On Time," "New Housing Starts Galore," and "Tax Breaks for Everyone, Like, Everyone!"

Meanwhile, down in the old Royal City, where hospital patients are trying to recover from ass-breaking surgery...

THERE ARE NO CLEAN BEDPANS.

Here is your laxative to help you get regular again after all that anaesthetic...and, because we have no clean bedpans, here's your diaper, baby. Poooooo, away!

Ah, it's a fine life. And a fine and caring government.