Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Victor Drives Into The Red Zone

Twice, this weekend, I observed something that sends me into a white rage and surely bothers many of my calmer fellow citizens.
It's the Vancouver traffic game called IGNORE THE SIRENS.
On the first occasion, Saturday, I was at Oak and 41st and heard oncoming sirens. Like any barely civilized person, I stopped and looked in all directions, so as to know where to crowd over. Not so the morons ahead of me who continued into the intersection, each trying to beat the ambulance, with the result that the intersection became plugged. The ambulance waited while bumper car drivers sorted themselves out, each feigning surprised innocence.
On Sunday it was worse. Two fire trucks and two ambulances tried to get through a tight street near Granville Island. Again, deaf dummies continued driving. I lost it and walked into the road, yelling at drivers to move over, using my middle finger to give them directions. It was hot. My partner thought I was going to have a heart attack. A fireman actually jumped out of his truck and yelled at these braindead schmucks to get out of the way. Hey, he's only saving lives. He couldn't possibly be as important as the Vancouver driver.
We need signs in all spoken languages. Big signs in English, French, Hindi, Urdu, Farsi, Cantonese whatever. The signs should say something like:
"If you hear a siren, stop driving. Pull your goddamn Lexus over. Don't block the intersection. If you block an emergency vehicle, we will throw your fat fucking ass in jail or maybe just let the ambulance drivers beat the snot out of you".
This used to be a civil city. We need to shame these assholes the same way we shamed smokers. Yell at them. Use the finger. If this continues, some kid will die because some dickheads will block an ambulance lest they be late for their hair appointment.

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