Movie "Dolly" Should be Put in the Vaults

The film version of "Hello Dolly" is an execrable piece of work.

Using all of the same techniques that made her so warm and charming and winning in "Funny Girl," Barbra Streisand is cold and imperious, distant and a kind of ego-monster in "Dolly." The exact same thing happened to her in "Funny Lady," in which her delightful Fanny Brice was replaced by a shrill, cynical harridan.

The amazing thing about "Funny Girl" was that Streisand really was Fanny Brice. It's amazing to think that anyone else was ever considered for the role when it first appeared on Broadway. I've seen film footage of Brice recently and it's hard to tell where she ends and Streisand begins.

In "Dolly," all of the sparkle and lightheadedness that Carol Channing brought to the role, the droll off-handedness that Pearl Bailey offered are missing in action with Streisand.

Maybe it was the combination of Gene Kelly directing and her acting, maybe they hated each other, who is to know?

Michael Crawford, who later in life, was entirely resurrected as The Phantom of the Opera, is flat weird. He looks a good 20 years younger than Marianne McAndrew, who was terribly mis-cast as Irene Malloy. Tommy Tune looks like he's going to spit at any moment. Only Danny Lockin as Barnaby Tucker gets and hold our eye with his vigorous, gifted dancing and broad smile.

The worst moment of all - the most monstrous - the appearance of Louis Armstrong. Instead of simply letting this great, brilliant, one-of-a-kind performer do his thing (What more could we ask for?), Kelly and Streisand have her "scatting" and shadowing his every move and note. He hasn't a beat alone on camera during the number.

There is, however, one actor in this movie. His name is Walter Mathhau. He plays Horace Vandergelder and he's wonderful.

Streisand won a deserved Oscar for "Funny Girl," her first movie. The simple truth is that she was never better.

Next time, "Hello Dolly" comes on TV, go out for a walk. You'll feel better.