Alex on Politics - Loco and otherwise

title was changed to 'the Dance of Doom?"

From todays 24hrs. Enjoy!

Sent from my iPhone
Subject: Column in 24 hours- Friday April 25, 2008

THE DESPERATE AND THE DELUSIONAL

By A. G. Tsakumis

‘Rebel With A Clause’

The march toward the November municipal elections continues to provide me with the kind of reflection I just cannot ignore. It reinforces in my occasionally befogged noggin that desperate times are, indeed, for desperate people.

To the South, the Democrats battle royale on Tuesday, sealed it for me, as the comparison was, well, easy.

I almost fell out of my chair from laughter when watching Hickory Clinton, who is as ignorant as she is insufferable, claim victory in Pennsylvania. That dear, sweet lizard, she can’t even do maths. A nine-point victory extended her campaign life-support for approximately another month or so. Going into the convention she will trail by an insurmountable triple digit deficit, but will have pummeled wistful Pierre Elliot Obama and his, thus far, empty rhetorical hopefulness into a fluttering furball, which Sen. John McCain will vacuum into history’s dustbin. But there she was, defiant, stoic even, shoveling the steaming fertilizer as deftly as any farmhand.

In some measure, I couldn’t help but detect the trend of delusion even here at home, and, the comparison was simply too tempting, since the evidence is all there—and then some.

With frenetic efforts to revive his image, making no apparent difference in the minds of the vast majority of Vancouverites, Sam Sullivan’s campaign geniuses have hit the panic-button, only to shatter it. This week and last, I received no less than a dozen and a half emails and messages from all over the city, telling me of the endless bombardment of calls being made to their homes by Sir Spamalot’s horsemen. One older fellow received no less than six calls in three days, well after he had told the first caller that he wasn’t supportive of Sammy and will vote for Peter Ladner (an increasingly popular theme). He explained, further, that he’d not be supporting the Mayor ever again and would like to speak to Sam to tell him that he was a “clod”.

The canvasser promptly ended that happy session.

But this kind of blowback against Sam Sullivan should come as no surprise, notwithstanding the desperate efforts to breathe life into his flagging campaign. Clr. Suzanne Anton recently remarked to an NPA colleague that she was astonished with the negative comments she received about the Mayor, after having sent out an email blast to her core supporters. Doesn’t say much about her level of awareness, does it?

Then again, there are always those you can count on, who will stop at nothing, in desperate times, to raise the semi-catatonic Sullivan caravan from the proverbial ditch, with something snort-worthy, even captive.

Enter Clr. Kimbo Capripants, who never fails to disappoint, with her latest exhibition of ‘Foot-In-Mouth Syndrome’. With air-tank fully attached to both ears, she mused this week (as did the Mayor) about why the Vancouver Police Department was not more attentive to a rally for the legalization of marijuana. Such serious flouting of the laws and civil disobedience is not allowed according to Spammy and the Blonde Ambitionette.

But what do you do with 6,000 people, all higher than a kite? It’s not like the NPA have been generous with the VPD…not until an election loomed…

I know, next time, we’ll have the boys in blue leave the chemical gulag on the Downtown Eastside for a pot pep rally, because you never know when those dastardly pot-smokers, known for incredible violence, will beat each other over the head with a bag of Doritos or a slice of pizza.

We must stand on our principles, after all.

Luckily, desperate people don’t have any.