Thursday, August 21, 2008



I admit it.

I'm an Anti-Lawnite.

Have been for a very lawn time...uh, long time.

Hate lawns. Don't get them. See them as a Protestant plot to make us all dull and the same.

One of the many joys of my home is that my back yard is a driveway bordered by a huge tree, and my front yard is a jungle choking with 20 different plants and bushes, all overseen by an enormous pine.

Did you know that Americans spend - read, waste - $40 BILLION dollars a year on grass - and that's not the kind you smoke.

"And how much water?" I ask.

One of my idiot neighbours has built in sprinklers. Pulleeeeezze.

Half the world is dying and we're watering in a rain forest to get a carpet.

Here's the really, really, really good news.

I am not alone.

Read this wonderful article, called "Turf War," from the New Yorker magazine of July 21 and marvel.

I will be happier when all the unnatural, imported from other countries grasses are replaced with vegetable gardens, rock gardens, ponds, bushes, wild grasses and weeds.

May I never again here the intruding noises of electric and gas mowers and that worst of all urban pests, the whirly trimmer thing. One day, I will rip the fishing line from one of those suckers and wrap it around the fool piloting it at 8 am on a Sunday.


nowhere man said...

The manager of my little apartment building got rid of the lawn years ago.
Every spring countless passer-byes stop to admire the beautiful wild flowers that appear like magic.

PelaLusa said...

I actually like lawns. Have you ever looked closely at the lawn at the various Lawn Bowling Clubs around town? Absolutely spectacular! But I also like other types of landscape alternatives too. To each their own.

As for the lack of water, I simply don't believe it. There's no lack of water for us here in SW B.C. It's simply a matter of what it costs to get us clean, safe water. In the future the costs will go up but there'll still be lots of water available.

One idea I had a long time ago though was to have two parallel water supplies: One for drinking and bathing and another for watering a lawn, washing a car, etc. It's probably too late to install a 2nd system now but it's too bad cities didn't think of this long, long ago.

Anonymous said...

I always thought that moss made a great lawn. My neighbours once reported me for non watering of the grass as they didn't like the brown lawn.

I prefer moss, unless there are moss police to ticket those poor souls who don't water their grass.

Anonymous said...

Well, I generally don't like lawns because I generally dislike the work involved with maintaining them. I do, however, have two young children, and our small backyard with lawn on it is the perfect place for them to run around/crawl/play on. So I endure the nuisances that come with lawn ownership. Several years ago my parents decided not to have a lawn in their yard, bucking the trend in their suburban neighborhood. They went with gravel- and wood-chip-covered areas filled with shrubs and other plants. They did put in an automatic watering system for the warm months because they have physical ailments that prevent them from doing much gardening. But they've never missed having a lawn.

Craig Y.