Saturday, February 21, 2009

MR. BIG NEEDS A BAILOUT...boo hoo


He owes the tax department a Billion Dollars.

Or so CRA claims.

And the debt isn't his personally, but if you know Canada Revenue, you'll realize that they can make things very personal.

Don't worry.

His name is REID BIGLAND.

Deepen your voice to full announcer level and say that again.
"Hi! I'm Reid Bigland. And you're not."

Reid is the President of Chrysler Canada.

You know, that other company whose cars and trucks no one buys.

Reid and his good friend, The Other Guy who runs GM Canada, are shopping in the Parliament window for a little $10 Billion hand-out.

"Hi! I'm Reid Bigland!"

Of course, if we don't give Reid and his friends more of our tax money so they can keep building really shitty big cars that no one wants, coffee shops and bridal boutiques in Oshawa will go tits up.

Like they weren't going there anyway. Like times don't change. Tell that to the village smithy.

Of course, as we are a mere branch plant of Washington and Detroit, we will give these tax dollars to these deluded leading failures.

We will blind ourselves to the fact that GM Saab just filed for bankruptcy in Sweden, that GM Germany and South Korea have just cried for givernment (that's not a typo) money and that GM is trading just barely above the penny stock level.

The auto and transportation industries are going through seismic, cataclysmic change.

Some things are dying and some new things will be born - green cars, shared cars, no cars, autobikes, rubber buses, your guess is better than mine.

But propping up the locked-in-step machinery that belches forth Ford Exploders and 12 passenger Dodge Caravans is hardly the most useful thing we could do with our tax dollars.

Does that mean cut them all off at the knees and watch people hurl themselves into the St. Lawrence?

No.

But it does mean saying to the arrogant, airhead BIGLAND's of the world, "O.K. Mr. Smarty Pants, show me The New, 'splain me your re-tooling plan, and tell me who else you're talking to about all those pensions and health plans because We the People are not in the business of supporting dying aardvarks and dodos."

The photo, by the way, is REID BIGLAND his own true fabulous suited self, showing off why he needs your money.

Like lots of Canadians are going to be buying that thing.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it was Jon Stewart who suggested instead of these zillion dollar bailouts, giving every citizen half a million dollars - people would be able to pay off all their debt - retire - keep their homes - raise and educate their children - keep shopping in the local shops to keep their communities alive - pay their taxes......
instead we get the very very filthy rich who created this mess in the first place, get rewarded for their gluttony and negligence.

You just couldn't make this stuff up - "BIGLAND"??

Anonymous said...

What an endless waste of money. Every Canadian household and every Canadian small business has made a bad financial decision. Many small businesses struggle to survive. The reason can often be cash owed to CRA. So the small business goes under trying to pay enough to the Canadian Gov so they can turn around and bail out the billion dollar companies. If we had any real MPs with integrity in this country they would not allow the people of Canada to be abused like this. Call your local MP and ask him for a bail out.Your mortgage your car loan your kids education . your old age. Come on Canada lets pay everyones bills. What a pathetic joke

Pelalusa said...

Let's not ever forget the original impetus for this stupid bailout plan: Jack Layton and Stephane Dion, supported by Michael Ignatieff and Bob Rae. They DEMANDED that a bailout of the failing auto-sector occur ... no matter what.

Their demands were met ... big time!

At the same time, the executives of GM & Chrysler have accepted no significant cuts to their remuneration. As far as I know, the Canadian Auto Workers Union hasn't given up anything.

So effectively our hard earned tax dollars are going towards gold-plated salaries and benefits packages of a precious few. And make no mistake, now that the $$$$$ have started rolling out of Ottawa and down Hwy 401 to the auto-plants, it'll be extremely difficult to ever shut off that flow.

NRF said...

Harper's crew could pass two laws:

1. That GM, Ford and Chrysler must double their prices and halve their product quality.

2. Every taxpayer must purchase a new car from GM, Ford or Chrysler within the year.

That way, the automakers get what they want and the taxpayers get screwed but at least they get to drive a new car.

Either way the taxpayer loses, eh?