Saturday, December 26, 2009

Low Key

The Globe & Mail was heavy and thick this morning.

With what?

Twaddle, that's what.

It was all about "decoding" and "parsing" the decade.

Better it should have been parsniping.

(That's a Jewish sentence structure...although parsnips may not necessarily be considered a Jewish vegetable. Pickles are a Jewish vegetable and I know many people who have pickle trees in their back yards...although that doesn't necessarily make them Jewish, just people with exquisite taste and very high hopes.)

The Globe.

One of the many reasons I don't go to parties (The main one being that I'm rarely invited...) is that there is always one genius standing around the cheese and crackers table parsing and decoding practically everything in sight.

Some people just feel that it is given unto them to interpret the last 40 or 400 or 4000 years to everyone.

I say, "If you can make a convincing argument, Buddy, and convince Scribner or Knopf or someone to swallow your story whole, good on you, but in the meantime, let me at the appies and get the eff outta the way."

So all of the talent at the Globe got together and told me that Y2K didn't happen and that texting did. And MJ died and Tiger is in hiding. And "The Song of Bernadette" never did get remade for Tori Spelling. (I made that one up.)

Look why don't they just keep it simple?

Send out a one-pager on December 26th.

"Nut job tried to blow up a plane over Detroit, everything else is cool, shop till you drop."

I took my own advice yesterday.

I walked for about 90 minutes on one of my all-time favorite walks - English Bay.

I've been walking that walk since the first day I arrived here over 40 years ago.

I've walked in many wild and weird and wonderful places, and English Bay continues to be great.

Yesterday it was sunny and unseasonably warm and thousands of others were walking as well.


Today, a quiet stroll to the 'hood, a double espresso, a couple more lamb chops for the grill and that's a wrap, kids.

Cherish a day or two without da news.


Jeff Taylor said...

Great advice about a 'news break' David. Even though I'm a news junkie, once in awhile I choose a nice walk over the internet / paper myself. As for English Bay, priceless as they say in those commercials these days - the commercials that I'm not watching for a few days.

Anonymous said...

Once again David your living the dream. After 56 years of living in Vancouver English Bay never gets old. I played little league baseball at Sunset Beach in the early 60s. Yes there were enough kids in the West End back then to field a few teams.We also played at second beach and Prospect Point.

But that walk from the Burrard Bridge to Siwash Rock is as scenic as any on the planet.

Anonymous said...

English Bay is gorgeous, but whenever I walk along it I am overcome by this really surreal feeling that I am unusually separated from everyone else in Vancouver, even if they are walking beside me. It's great if you want solitude, but on a rare day when you're in a funk or feeling lonely, it's a weird feeling to have all that beauty and possibility and greatness to the west and all that smug unfriendliness to the right. I think of myself as being a friendly, Vancouver-born woman but I don't feel like I fit in anymore.

Anonymous said...

David, my wife and I both get Monday off. As this does not happen very often and we seldom have a "free" day. So if all goes well we will go to the Sylvia Hotel for breakfast then walk around the sea wall. Spend some time on Granville Island then perhaps diner at the Keg before heading home.
As the nice weather is to end soon I hope to see the sun all day. To the previous writer if you say hello to us you will get a Merry Christmas right back at you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Anonymous, for inviting me to say hello to you. Your comment has lifted my spirits! Wishing you and your wife a very Merry Christmas season and a New Year full of lovely Mondays in Vancouver.