Monday, March 29, 2010

On the Run

There is a new commercial on TV.

It is the poster child for The Law of Unintended Consequences.

No doubt, the geniuses at the high-powered and mucho muy expensive ad agency that created it and sold it to the dumb clucks called the client are thrilled.

Perhaps you've seen it.

A woman gets out of bed in the morning.

She begins her routine at top speed.

Showers, shampoos, brushes, dresses, puts on the stilettos.

All of this is shot from the floor so we never actually see any of her much above the ankles.

Terribly clever, no?

Then she high tails it uptown. I can't remember if she grabs a subway.

Then she masterfully vaults over a bit of morning dew at the curb.

Finally into her favorite eatery in town.

And the payoff?

A big greasy dripping somethingorother with egg and smoked meat and bad buns.

Let's call it The Heart Stopper.

"I'll have the Double Artery Clog, go, of course. Everything I do is 'to go!"

The commercial is for MacDonald's.

Their so-called breakfast.

Apparently, in the real world - a world I have never experienced (except, of course, for the stilettos) - food is something to be gobbled in high pursuit.

It is also high in cholesterol, fats, white flour and cured meats.

This is a TV commercial designed to get you, you unsuspecting boob, to rush to the Big Arches and wolf down the worst imaginable goop for your first meal of the day.

Instead, I watch in horror asking myself, "What in god's name is wrong with that person? Has she no self-respect?"

Except, of course, for the stilettos.


Anonymous said...

David, I have been avoiding artery clogging fast food (especially Rotten Ronnies) for years now.

However, I would like to make mention of your love of a woman in stilettos...

Why on earth do you think that it is okay (or even attractive) to see a woman scrunch up her toes and throw her back out by wearing these god-awful things! Oh- and wouldn't she look sexy with her face all bloodied up after slipping, tripping or tottering over!

Have a look at an older woman's feet (a woman who used to wear high heels regularly for work) - check out her bunions, callouses and hammer toes. Check her medicine cabinet for pain relievers because of her chronically bad back.

If you really think that stilettos are respectful - wear them yourself!

Anonymous said...

"Except, of course, for the stilettos." The above poster echoed my thoughts exactly. I've worn many a high heel - but *never* stilettos. A stylish 2 to 2 1/2 inch "wine glass" heel shows off the ankle and gam equally as well, if not better and a gal does not have to walk leaning forward, hence damaging her back. Any Orthopaedic Doc will verify this. Stilettos are for hookers - well, perhaps five or ten minutes as a "bedroom shoe" would be allowable. :-) They are tacky in my opinion.


David Berner said...

Dear June and other poster,

I am sorry that my joke is going right past you both, but...hey, maybe you have to hear the voice inflection...



Gavin said...

If the shoe fits.....wear it!

Anonymous said...

"Stilettos are for hookers". I totally agree, and so are tattoos.

Gary L. said...

Stiletto tattoos may be something to ponder............

Ok, times up.