Anywhere You Hang Your Hat

In Canada, what is ON your head is clearly much, much more important than what is IN your head.

We are a nation of "headists."

First there was the stink about who could wear a motorcycle helmet. Then the national riot about RCMP officers wearing a turban rather than a cap. That one almost brought the house down. Then, a month or so ago, we had the hideous spectacle of 11-year old girls daring to wear their hijabs on a soccer pitch. The world soccer governing MEN at FIFA had to be called in to settle that one. No scarves, the wise ones declared for time immemorial.

That last incident took place in Quebec.

Which is interesting, because so has the latest "headist" eruption.

Another 11-year old girl has gone quite mad and dared to wear her hijab to a tae kwon do tournament. Of course, she was immediately removed from the field. The spokesman for the local Montreal tourney was a cartoon of a satire of an impression of a "peasouper" francophone. Sometimes I wonder if these stories are invented by out-of-work comedy writers and peopled by out-of-work casting agents.

Aside from the righteous declarations of "how da game his played" by the rotten toothed spokesman, the most comical element of this farce is the fact that the children are all wearing big, padded safety helmets. The offending hijab is not even visible, let alone some kind of hazard.

So, enough.

Here's my suggestion.

From now on, let's make the sombrero the official head covering of Canada. It is large and visible and fun. And it is unwieldy, which means you can't really do much more in a sombrero than have a drink or a siesta. Which is what most Canadians are busy doing most of the time anyway.