FRIDAY'S PROVINCE COLUMN
Friday » December 28 » 2007
Why you should have to acquire a licence to own a dog in Vancouver
David Berner
Why you should have to acquire a licence to own a dog in Vancouver
David Berner
Special to The Province
Friday, December 28, 2007
Some years ago I worked for a psychotic lunatic. He invited me to his home one afternoon to discuss my radio contract.
I was greeted by a Doberman the size of a Kingsway motel. The creature was catapulting off the walls of the kitchen and making noises only heard in dreams.
I told him to put the dog in the yard.
He said: "But, David, what's the problem? He's in obedience school." I said: "Call me when he graduates."
This madman had applied for, and been refused, a licence to carry a firearm. Shouldn't he be required to take some dog-training? Shouldn't harbouring a dangerous dog, in fact, be prohibited?
My neighbourhood has gone to the dogs.
Two doors over, there is blind old Sasha (not her real name). She's a waddling German shepherd who spent years howling like a coyote.
Dogs can barely see. From 10 feet away, most of us just look like cardboard cut-outs at a PNE photo booth. To make up for this deficiency, dogs have extraordinary powers of hearing and smell. It is said that a dog's olfactory sensitivities are six times that of your average sous chef.
Sasha, seeing David's shadow in the window of his kitchen, howled and howled.
Over the last decade, I called the dog police three times when I couldn't take it any more. Each time, they warned Sasha's owner, a lovely woman and a gifted artist, to control the beast or else.
Now poor old Sasha is just too tuckered to be bothered yodelling. She lolls about on the back deck with this look on her face that says something like, "Go ahead, make your tea, my bawling days are behind me."
No matter. Just in time, Sasha has been replaced by Apollo (not his real name), the Airedale across the lane . . . or should I say Airhead.
Apollo's masters are nice people, too. They just don't have clue one about dogs in the city. Apollo barks in the morning, afternoon and night.
The dear old couple drive away in their SUV, leaving Airhead to screech his grievances for an hour or two. What do they care? They're shopping or at the dentist.
A few doors west, we have the two giant poodles. I like to call them Rosy and El Diablo. Rosy is quieter than a pincushion. El Diablo never met a passerby he didn't want to devour.
Most of us on the block get a little a hint of Michael Vick in our eyes when we speak of these creatures.
On my Wednesday walk, I encountered several truck-sized canines. I recognized a boxer, who stared and drooled at me for much too long, and something resembling a Tyrannosaurus rex -- which was, of course, not on a leash.
Lately, there have been few sightings of that rare Vancouver bird, the Responsible Dog Owner.
So here's my New Year's wish.
May all dog owners be required by law to take a dog-training course before being granted a licence to make the rest of our lives miserable with their neglect.
Happy New Year! Grrr . . .
© The Vancouver Province 2007
3 comments:
I like dogs. I'm allergic to them, but like them very much. My building is a dog-friendly one and I very much enjoy giving each dog I meet a good scratch.
The only ones I occasionally am barked at are the dainty little ones that I believe are part rat and part canine. Several have little bows on their head and often have streaks the same colour as their human compatriot has in her (or his) hair.
Much more often, I meet humans in this city who I wish were licensed.
Well put, David.
I frequent Jericho Beach and Spanish Banks. In the five minutes it took me to walk along Jericho Beach today, I counted a mere four dogs unleashed on the beach.
My suspicion is that, had I asked those four dog owners whether or not they knew that the beach was off-limits for dogs (the signs were clearly not a deterrent), three would have told me to mind my own business; the fourth would have probably chosen more colorful language. Can't wait to navigate around half-decomposed fecal matter in the summer.
Has the self-centered, 'my-rights-supercede-the-rules' attitude I see more often finally become de rigeur. Are we seeing the slow and painful death of community and the Golden Rule?
Perhaps we just have to accept that more and more people view rules as mere suggestions that do not necessarily apply to them, like stop signs and spaces for handicap parking.
I also love dogs, in fact we have an Airedale (I don't think we live across the lane your house however!). Unlike our two old fox terriers, who have long since passed away, our Airedale thankfully is not a barker.
I very much dislike off-leash dogs in on-leash areas and used to regularly encounter such dog owners in the Endowment Lands where there is the option to go on the off-leash trails, but where some choose to walk off-leash on on-leash trails. Our old fox terrier was ailing and was easily toppled so an off-leash dog running up to us was a hazard to say the least. Unfortunately, explaining that to the rebel owners didn't often meet with understanding. A few bad owners make it difficult for those of us who try to do the right thing (barking fox terriers aside!).
On another note, I want to bring to your attention an honour bestoed on Bruce Pullen, Music Director of the Vancouver Bach Choir, of which our daughter is a member. The choirs are a brilliant education in music given to children starting from a very young age and I am happy to see Mr. Pullen receive his due.
BRUCE PULLAN APPOINTED TO THE ORDER OF CANADA
Her excellency the Right Honourable Michaelle Jean, Governor General of Canada, announced today 61 new appointments to the Order of Canada. Among these is Bruce Pullan CM, Music Director of the Vancouver Bach Choir. The citation states that he is appointed “for his contributions to the development of singers of all ages, as a professor of music and a founder and director of numerous choirs”.
Mo.
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