Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Civil City


Let us all bow our heads in thanks to The Mayor for his most fabulous accomplishment - The Civil City.


Yes.


That was so much in evidence this weekend when a dope fiend stole family rings from the hands of an old lady at VGH.


Then, let us thank the Harm Seduction people and the Insite people and the NAOMI people and all the other enabling fools who hate it when I speak of "dope fiends," and who rush to "help" cretins at every turn.


There are few creatures on earth lower than a using addict.


The only solution is abstinence. If you don't know that by now, you don't know anything.


There is nothing a using dope fiend won't do, nobody they won't offend, no standard they won't disappoint.


This poor old lady is 91. She just had her leg amputated.


And, not as if this is news.


We have all known for far too long that just about the most dangerous place on earth today is a hospital. If the heart attack that brought you in doesn't kill you, then the bacteria and viruses that swarm through the wards will, or the lunatics and thieves who work the wards will.


St. Paul's Emergency, for example, has long been given over in its entirety to dope fiends. You don't want anyone taking you there. With your last dying breath, you must tell the ambulance driver to take you to VGH, at least.


A friend at UBC hospital with a heart problem promptly lost $300 dollars from his wallet.


Now, you have to remember that when you have that emergency, bring no money, no rings, watches or other valuables. Ram your cell phone up your ass, and keep all other important documents in your cheeks.


Again, thank you, Mr. Mayor for another winning strategy - The Civil City.


Ah, I'm sleeping so much better today.

2 comments:

David in N Bby said...

Vancouver's screwball policies could be merely a source of twisted amusement to those of us in the other metro cities, but unfortunately they have the effect of attracting dope addicts from everywhere to the whole region.
I asked one obvious junkie who was living in the ravine near our house last summer where he and his, uh, woman were from. Ontario.
Thanks, Sam.

PelaLusa said...

I'll be back home in a few weeks from Honolulu. I'll be submitting a letter to both The Sun and The Province contrasting Vancouver's Civil City (the fantasy) vs. Honolulu's Actual Civil City. What a wonderful contrast it is ... here that is!