Tuesday, February 17, 2009

BAD JOKE DAY


O.K.

Taking a cue from the old radio show days...

Time for Bad Joke Day!

The comments Lines are open.

We await your worst groaners...

7 comments:

Gavin said...

I guy was driving by a farmhouse near Yak,B.C. and saw a sign that said, 'Talking Dog For Sale'. Curious, he turned around and went and knocked on the farmhouse door. The farmer answered and the guy asked if the dog was still for sale and could he see the pooch. "Sure, right this way",said the farmer.
To the guy's amazement the dog, an attractive and well-cared for Lab sat up and said, "Hi, how are you?" The guy almost fell over and exclaimed, "Holy smoke! The dog does talk! What's your story dog?" The dog said, "Well I realized I had this ability from the time I was a pup and felt as a Lab,I needed to help people, you see, it in my breeding." "Go on", said the guy. "Well I donated by rare ability to our spy agencies and the government and was jetted all over the world where I sat in rooms with world leaders in North Korea, Iran, Russia, the USA.....you get the picture. No one figured a dog could be eavesdropping. I was one of our government's most valuable spies for over eight years."
"After all this jetting around I got tired and they assigned me to work at our airport where I did some security work listening in to suspicious characters and such. I was so good at this that they gave me a bunch of treats and medals because I uncovered some incredible things. Then I met a lovely bitch, got married and had a bunch of pups. Now I'm retired and am looking forward to my golden years in peace with the world."
The guy was totally in awe of the dog and asked the owner how much he wanted for the Lab. The owner said $25. The guy said,"WHY SO CHEAP?!!!!"
The owner said, "because the goddamn dog's a liar, he never did any of that".

Anonymous said...

Good idea David, I guess I"ll be the first.

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.

One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazlenut extract.

Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.

The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"

"No, I'm sorry", replied the bartender,

"it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."

Mo.

David Berner said...

NOw, that is a great start!

Both of those two first entries are very funny and very bad!

Thanks MO and Gavin!

Gary said...

It was the Annual Contest for all the on-air Jocks that spin the platters on the all music Stations. As you know, it is a part of their format to be brief when talking between the songs.
Therefore, the Contest is to address a given Topic in as few words as possible. The Topic last year was SEX. Here is the winner's speech. "Ladies and Gentlemaen, it gives me great pleasure......"

Martino said...

A man walks into a bar...ouch!

Gavin said...

My internal medicine doctor referred me to a urologist.
To my surprise, the urologist was female, beautiful and unbelievably sexy.
She told me I would have to stop masturbating.
I asked her why.
She said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Gavin. said...

A three year old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom",he asked,"are these my brains?"
"Not yet", she replied.