ART SHMART

I went to the Vancouver Art Gallery yesterday.

I went because I had a free pass and I wanted to see what's up.

I went because Kathleen Bartels, the Director of the Vancouver Art Gallery, was my guest on SHAW TV back in February.

The VAG has a six-month commitment to an exhibition by local artist Ken Lum.

I lasted less than 20 minutes.

There is no question that Lum has a good sense of design and might make quite a handsome living in advertising.

His specialty seems to be combining the occasional image with a few words. There are always words.

And videos.

And mirrors.

Let me say this about videos.

All TV, my own work included, is either Lucy or Walter Cronkite. My own work is often both - at the same time.

And mirrors?

My bathroom has mirrors.

This is where I can see everything sagging and getting smaller. Except, of course, my tummy.

In the middle of a very, very large square room, in a stroke of pure genius, Lum has placed several hide-a-beds. The beds are facing each other. The sofa seats are cast aside, and the mattresses and springs are all somehow "interacting." Maybe they are fucking, I can't be sure.

Now, what exactly is Lum's genius here?

Simple.

He has perfected the trifecta known as The Emperor's New Clothes.

Let's shudder to think of the hordes of dollars he has been paid for this Popsicle delusion.

Let's convulse at the thought of where the Road of Art has led us.

Let's stay away in droves.