Another Guest Editorial from V.

The lady and the tiger episode resulted in a horrid tragedy, witnessed by her children. William Blake told us, 200 years ago, about the complex disposition of Mother Nature. "Tiger, tiger burning bright". We never learn.

We did learn in the ensuing media coverage ( responsible I might add) that owing to variances in municipal bylaws, people who want to keep a tiger,puma, rhino in their backyard or basement need only to take their menacing menagerie to the next town that lacks bylaws if things get ornery.

The solution, we are told, is for the province to ban the practice of keeping exotic ( can you say killer) animals. Ban. Outright. Sounds good.

Then we hear from the Minister of Agriculture and Fools. Pat Dumbell.

His solution is to "license keepers of killer ( sorry, exotic) animals and perhaps requiring them to have training".

Out of the pool, somebody peed!

See, here's the deal.

First, licensing is government code for revenue. It's code for inspectors as in bigger government. Hello? We will never collect revenue from a muscle-shirt cavemen who wants to keep a lion in the living room. Can you say ban!

Second, Mr. muscle-shirt will not attend training and if he does, who will train him. Who will pay for the trainers?

No matter the crisis, government's first impulse is to look for a revenue opportunity, offset by a bigger government response.

Note to government.

Nobody wants tigers in the basement.

Ban! Simple. The legislation would be less than a paragraph. No extra bureaucrats involved in inspecting, training and issuing fines. Your cleaning lady could write the law

Last word. Today, on the Big Flea ( Top Dog) I heard a lady from the American SPCA say " There are more Indian Tigers in American basements than living in the jungles of India".

Oi vey!

The madness continues.

Cheers

A boulevardier

Guest Editorial from V.

When watching Tim Dailey's riff on the arrogance of New York's priapic slogan, I couldn't help but think about British Columbia's modest official motto, no less, "The Greatest Place on Earth"." Oh really", I whispered. " Sorry I wasted money on world travel."

I live with a Chinese woman. She saw this slogan one day and asked if we really believed that.

Think of it. China. Five time zones. Deserts to tropics. Temples to mega malls. I blushed. I said I had only visited a mere 41 countries and I wasn't sure but maybe somebody in Victoria knows something I don't. I added that since 49 per cent of the people in Vancouver are visible minorities, I hope they don't feel ashamed of their homeland just because we have a wanker's slogan. She assured me that she will still love her birth country and that perhaps there should not be a competition where we declare ourselves in first place.

We love to diss the "Ugly American".

But could you imagine standing up in a cafe in Venice, Lyon, Brussels, Vienna or Stockholm and announce to the patrons.

" Hi, I'm a modest Canadian from British Columbia and I live in the GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH. Aren't you dorks sorry that you live in inferior places? Now let's drink beer and watch hockey."

Maybe before 2010,when the world visits BC, we might consider a slogan with a little modesty. Does Greece have a motto that says " We brought democracy to inferior, sweating classes". Would Iraq have a slogan that said " We had medical schools when Europeans were living with their pigs." Does China have a 2008 slogan that says " Your grandchildren's income depends on our economy and by the way, we were a magnificent culture when your race had bones in your noses."

Or maybe BC First Nations could adopt a slogan such as " You separated us from Nature, but we never signed a separation agreement."

David, if you have a media mailing list, please pass this on. In BC today, the oracle is Bill Goo. I call him BobbleBill. . Why? Because he bounces from radio, to TV, to BC business without anybody stopping to say, " Bobblebill has a shiny surface but he's either dense or empty". Pick both.

A Boulevardier

A NOBEL FOR THE MAYOR

Audio Rant Below

Brian Williams, Kate Couric, Stone Philips, Hudson Mack, Air India, Parks Canada, Checks & Balances and the very, very teensy tiny Bush Library...

Broadcasters Et Al

The News From Venice

CURIO. "Closed for depression". This is the curiosity-provoking notice thatappears on the newspaper kiosk along Fondamente Nove in Venice. Beneath the signis an explanation -- the news dealer claims that he's had a nervous breakdown."I can't go on," he says. "I have to give tourists hundreds of bits ofinformation every day, responding to the most cockeyed queries. An example?Where is the pink castle? (the Doge's Palace). Where is the bus stop for Murano?(Murano is an island). Where is Fontana di Trevi? (Fontana di Trevi is inRome)." The explanation continues with irony and humour but also cogency: "I amone of many Venetians who is the victim of tourism, trading in a commodity thatuses my time but provides no source of income. Ask my nerves!" Other shopkeepersare more practical. They display signs saying "No info, please."Wish to comment on this article? http://blog.buongiornovenezia.com

***WELCOME TO THE NEW AUDIO BLOG ***

The audio file below is my first official audio posting for the blog.

The subject is a very typical Berner rant about various concerns about driving, texting, children, socialization, isolation, and multi-culturalism.

The microphone and sound quality will soon improve.

Happy Sunday Driving

James Taylor and Carole King

In honor of Mother's day, everybody is playing Carole King's "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman," but I thought this classic take with James and Carole together was so lovely...

HALLELUJAH!

The 3 Filemobile posts below are all test runs.

The good news is that the one immediately below is my first successful effort in recording from a mike attached to the computer and uploading the finished piece directly to the blog.

May this be the start of something grand!

May Test

May Second Try

Radio_sampler

Try this....yet another test

I Can Relate

The video posted below is incredible.

An actor named Mike Daisey is performing a monologue at the American Repertory Theatre.

A Christian group, apparently unhappy with the bawdy, racy content and language, not only get up and leave, but they pour water on the actor's notes and desecrate his work space.

I have been performing a one-man show called, "Shylock," for over 11 years now. Before that, I used to perform a one-man show called "T.E., or Telling Everything."

It is wonderful to watch this young man in the video below react honestly and spontaneously to the outrageous, bad behaviour that is thrust upon him.

All of this was contributed to the blog by my friend, Bob Turner, who knows a thing or two about performance himself.

Mike Daisey Audience Protest, Walkout and Attack

A Christian Group walks out on an actor...this is extraordianry for so many reasons...watch it all.

10,000!!! TEN THOUSAND 10,000!!!

10,000, 10,000, 10,000!

Wow!

That's 10,000 hits, visits, peeks at the blog since we started in late December. And that's wonderful.

All right, it's not a Coke or Toyota ad campaign, and it's not Al Gore or Clinton.

Bit it is great.

Thanks so much for your visits.

We'll do more and they'll soon be slightly different in form, but the content will continue to be eclectic, funny, angry, maddening, opinionated and musical.

Have a great weekend!

They Think They are Loving Parents. They are Wrong. They are Irresponsible, Selfish Fools, and They are the Modern Template.

He is a cardiologist. She is a general practitioner.

They are both doctors, health care workers. They are both professionals. No doubt, they are smart and they work hard and they are not suffering financially.

They take their 3 kids to a resort in Portugal. A daughter is almost 4, the twins are 2 years old.

The father and mother decide they'd like a little quiet romantic time. Nothing extravagant, just a dinner by themselves.

Do they get a baby-sitter? No. Can they afford one? Yes. Did they bring the nanny from England with them to the resort? No. Could they have? yes.

How do I know they have a nanny? How do I know they could have brought her?

Because he is a cardiologist and she is a G.P. They are professionals with 3 young children. Somebody must be at home while they're earning the loot to but the next Land Rover.

So. Mom and Dad leave their 3 kids at a rented apartment and go out to eat by themselves.

When the disaster strikes - as it must - they sob to the cameras that they "checked on the kids every half hour."

The disaster in this instance is called "kidnapping."

But here are some of the other swell things that can happen IN A FUCKING NANO-SECOND - when you leave 3 kids under the age of 5 alone and unattended in a rented apartment:

- choking on a pencil, a bottle cap, a candy, a lug nut

- fire

- falling out a window

and that's just for openers.

Of course, nobody deserves the horrible nightmare in which these two idiots find themselves. Of course, we all sympathize for a plight that none of us would want or know how to endure.

BUT.

I suggest that these so-called parents are the poster boy and girl for the thoroughly modern version of humankind, western, free-market, democracy style.

No doubt they text message on their blackberries while driving and shout asparagus instructions to each other over their cells while shopping.

My son and I discussed this case yesterday after breakfast. He recalled the many demonic instances of our over-diligence when he was a child and his mother and I were young parents. We laughed, and we counted our blessings that we were still here to laugh.

This Little Bear Went to Market

We have a peculiar sickness in this country.

While in truth we are often cold, reserved and inhospitable, we are at the same time obsessed with "niceness." We cannot stand to say "No" to anyone about anything and we hate to encourage police, the military or any kind of authority that might appear punitive and old-fashioned.

Thus, in our latest public fiasco, the federal government has told Park Wardens to stand down. No guns, no handcuffs, no body armour, no pepper spray, no law enforcement period. This directive comes days before the season opens at National Parks across the land.

The RCMP, who are grossly underfunded and understaffed and under-equipped, and who know NOTHING about Parks and the issues therein, are being told that they will have to police the parks.

But drunkenness, illegal hunting, smuggling and other fun summer activities are rife in our national Parks.

Parks Canada has been told by a court that they must equip park wardens with sidearms (because their failure to do so has violated safety provisions of the Canada Labor Code) or remove them from law enforcement duties.

Instead of doing the obvious right thing - arming and training the wardens for, among other things, their own safety - the idiots at Parks Canada has dis-armed and emasculated the wardens.

If you go out in the woods today, you'd better not go alone....

Lyle Lovett - Church

This should get you set for the weekend...

O.J. Simpson Kicked Out of a Restaurant

This self-explanatory bit of Americana is...what? Bizarre? A statement about Our World?