Hingis Gone - Bye Bye, have a Nice Tantrum

How can you test positive for cocaine and claim "100% innocence."

This is the story of Martina Hingis, the star who has just retired (again) from professional tennis.

Bye, Bye, Baby, Bye Bye.

I have never been able to watch this harridan for a minute.

She has from the beginning been a hateful, smiling, beaming, spoiled brat, who just happens to also be a racist, bigot, homophobe and fascist.

She has famously ragged on about the Williams sisters, who replaced her during those dreadful, dull years when she was No. 1. Her comments were worthy of a Louisiana sheriff, circa 1923.

Then when she was defeated by Amelie Mauresmo, a completely out-of-the-closet lesbian since she was 19, Hingis famously cracked, "Well, it's like playing a man!"

Which is a strange remark from a girl who was specifically named after Martina Navratilova, probably the most boldly "out" athlete of the past century.

I will be so happy to never have to look at this toothy smile again.