Friday, October 23, 2009


I have seen the Future, and it is Now.

For the next three and a half months leading up to The Blessed Event, Allah be praised, at least one third of all newspaper space will be given over in some form or another to the Olympics. Articles, stories, warnings, ads. It'll be in every section - health, education, sports, show biz, politics and the culinary arts.

Today, in addition to all the other bumf, there was a 3/4 page ad in the Globe.

Here's what it said above the crummy badly staged photo of four actors pretending to be a cross-section representing Canadian citizenry:

Event: The Downtown Freestyle Commute (Get it? Eh? Hahaha. Isn't that cute, Evelyn?)

Plan: We're working from home one day a week and taking transit during the Games.

(Translation: You, yes, you, you stupid rube, should utterly change your life around because that's the cooperative thing to do. Or else.)

Then, in big bold letters...

What's your TravelSmart plan?

Glad you asked.

On February 9th, I'm boarding a flight for Heathrow. The next morning I'll take the shuttle bus over to Gatwick, pick up my next flight and arrive in Venice just before midnight. All on points, of course.

I'll stay at my friend Susan's house and sometime during the three weeks, I'll visit Lugano and /or somewhere in Southern Italy, like, say, Bari or Sicily. Haven't decided.

On March 2nd or 3d (can't remember), I'll fly back home.

Perhaps by then, Granville Street parking may have returned, the sign police may be on a Tim Horton's break and I can drive downtown to do my volunteer work without being arrested.

I know that I am doing my civic duty.

VANOC and the Mayor and the Preem can all thank me of getting out of the way and being one less annoying kvetching whining local who would like to live his or her life regardless of all the terribly important new and short term arrivals.

What are your TravelSmart plans?

Share, share...


Anonymous said...

Ah, David take the train to Venice it, it is so romantico!

Dear me, I was in Venice in 1983 and I still have beautiful and pleasant memories.

Hope you go to the Dolomiti and enjoy a lovely mountain fresh cappuccino!

As for my travel plan - don't got - can you spare a ticket!

Anonymous said...

Wish I could say we were going away during the Olympics, but alas, we took the train from Amsterdam to Paris in August (you know, La Morte-Saison) and it would be a stretch to go away again so soon. I haven't been to Italy since the 80s (and then only to Rome and Florence) and I very much envy you both the trip and, of course, the timing of the trip.

Buon Viaggio


Anonymous said...

I've been told I'm not allowed to take any time off from my job in February because of the Olympics but no one will tell me why. Even though I'm not stupid, I can't fathom what I might be needed for. Is the company allowed to do that?

David Berner said...

I would suggest that it is your company that isn't very smart. Practically every thing and everyone else is shutting down. Business will come to a standstill. No will answer his phone. I hope your company has a lovely time all by its loathsome.

Mike MacDonald said...

We are looking to rent a house in St.Johns for a few weeks I won't support these BC destroying Campbell games. Maybe it's the MacDonald in me and Campbell in him.