MY OLYMPIC TRAVELSMART PLAN

I have seen the Future, and it is Now.

For the next three and a half months leading up to The Blessed Event, Allah be praised, at least one third of all newspaper space will be given over in some form or another to the Olympics. Articles, stories, warnings, ads. It'll be in every section - health, education, sports, show biz, politics and the culinary arts.

Today, in addition to all the other bumf, there was a 3/4 page ad in the Globe.

Here's what it said above the crummy badly staged photo of four actors pretending to be a cross-section representing Canadian citizenry:

Event: The Downtown Freestyle Commute (Get it? Eh? Hahaha. Isn't that cute, Evelyn?)

Plan: We're working from home one day a week and taking transit during the Games.

(Translation: You, yes, you, you stupid rube, should utterly change your life around because that's the cooperative thing to do. Or else.)

Then, in big bold letters...

What's your TravelSmart plan?

Glad you asked.

On February 9th, I'm boarding a flight for Heathrow. The next morning I'll take the shuttle bus over to Gatwick, pick up my next flight and arrive in Venice just before midnight. All on points, of course.

I'll stay at my friend Susan's house and sometime during the three weeks, I'll visit Lugano and /or somewhere in Southern Italy, like, say, Bari or Sicily. Haven't decided.

On March 2nd or 3d (can't remember), I'll fly back home.

Perhaps by then, Granville Street parking may have returned, the sign police may be on a Tim Horton's break and I can drive downtown to do my volunteer work without being arrested.

I know that I am doing my civic duty.

VANOC and the Mayor and the Preem can all thank me of getting out of the way and being one less annoying kvetching whining local who would like to live his or her life regardless of all the terribly important new and short term arrivals.

What are your TravelSmart plans?

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