Heart of My Heart

The news today is entirely personal.

At 9 o'clock this morning, I was on a treadmill at UBC's cardiology department. I lasted 14 minutes with steadily increasing pace and elevation and got my heart rate up to 142 beats per minute. This is a lot more than my customary 57 or 60 at rest.

All of this in aid of my semi-annual "stress test," which is necessitated by what is laughingly called "an episode" in June 2005. The episode (chest, shoulder, throat and lower jaw pains) was a textbook case of angina and that resulted in the inevitable angiogram and angioplasty. The latter is the now almost routine procedure in which a "stent" is inserted into a plaque-blocked artery. The day I had my operation, 20 more such procedures were performed at Vancouver General alone.

I "passed" today's test with flying colors, as they say. No hitches, glitches or sudden spikes on the pages of red and grey print-out graph.

I've now made a commitment to go back on a "statin" drug. I've been advised that my excellent diet and disciplined exercise regimen is doing all it reasonably can to lower my "bad" cholesterol, and that only such medication will really aid in getting the numbers to the lower levels I should have.

Such is life.

Twenty or so years ago, all of the above would have statistically been a fairly immediate death sentence.

With luck and good food and those regular walks and swims and bike rides and tennis games and the first rate attention of Dr. Izzerow and his gang, I might just last another 20 years or more.

But, no fear.

I'll still be the cranky, miserable s.o.b. I've always been. Nothing beats consistency.

ANNOUNCEMENT: THE KING IS GONE

With considerable regret, I tell you all and sundry that I cannot perform the role of Claudius in the upcoming production of "Hamlet," scheduled for the Jericho Arts Centre May 11-26.

I am beginning a new job on April 1st (Community Liason for Langara College), about which I am very excited and enthusiastic, and the rehearsal schedule for the Shakespeare was impossible to mesh with my new responsibilities.

C'est la vie!

To Irina and all the cast of "Hamlet," I say, "Break a leg!"

To all else, go see it and support independent theatre in Our Town.

Madness in the 'Hood

Kam & Kim Poon and their son have been serving great coffee and delicious bird's nest cookies to regulars at 14th and Granville since '95.

Their landlord is a Prince Among Princes named Bao Pham. Mr. Pham recently evicted the SOMA Cafe near Main & Broadway to open his own shop. Now he is evicting the Poons from their Bean Around the World.

Wait. Mr. Pham isn't totally heartless. He did offer to let these folks stay on, with a small caveat - a rent raise from $7,000 to $9,000/month. Hey, it's only 29%.

Mr. Pham hasn't yet decided if he'll just expand Caffe Barney, which is next door, or if he'll take over the Poon's Bean Around the World.

O.K. There's still good news and bad news.

The good news is the Poon family has found a new location up the street at 3007 Granville St. The bad news is they can't take the "Bean Around the World" name with them. Such is the life of a franchisee.

Now, I'm confident that the Poon family is going to do just fine, thank you very much. They have a regular following and the change in location is all of about 100 feet.

BUT. Is this how City Hall and our exalted Mayor work on the "Civil City?" Is this how we facilitate small business, which is often the backbone of our tax base?

Right.

How Governments Spend Your Money

Yahoo News:
Polar bears, sea ice and global warming are taboo subjects, at least in public, for some U.S. scientists attending meetings abroad, environmental groups and a top federal wildlife official said on Thursday.[..]

The matter came to light in e-mails from the Fish and Wildlife Service that were distributed by the Natural Resources Defense Council and the Center for Biological Diversity, both environmental groups.

Listed as a "new requirement" for foreign travelers on U.S. government business, the memo says that requests for foreign travel "involving or potentially involving climate change, sea ice, and/or polar bears" require special handling, including notice of who will be the official spokesman for the trip.[..]

Two accompanying memos were offered as examples of these kinds of assurance. Both included the line that the traveler "understands the administration's position on climate change, polar bears, and sea ice and will not be speaking on or responding to these issues.

This tale, taken from Crooks and Liars and Yahoo News, is now being re-worked as a spectacular Broadway musical called, "Polar Bear Blues." Chris Rock, Kid Rock and The Rockettes have signed on.

Frank Sinatra - Old Man River

Speaking of Frank...here's one of the greatest songs ever written by an American - Jerome Kern for "Showboat" - sung by the Chairman of the Board.

This video, by the way, was originally posted on Youtube by our buddy, Bill Taylor!

Shirley Bassey LADY IS A TRAMP - WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER

Continuing our little series of honoring the great composers of "The American Songbook," here's a killer version of "Lady is a Tramp," from Pal Joey. Of course, Sinatra owned this number, but this is pretty hot.

ADIO, TRANSCLUNK

Provincial Transportation Minister Kevin Falcon may or may not be right in seizing control of Translink away from the GVRD. Time, ridership and money will tell.

But we can surely all rise to our feet in huge thanks that the likes of Richmond Mayor Malcolm Brodie will no longer be at the wheel. Considering the marvelous job Mr. B has done in steering the fortunes of The Garden City of late, what confidence could any of us had in his leadership (???) at Transclunk.

In comparison, George Puil was Leonardo, Mozart and Steve Jobs rolled into one.

Stephen Harper, Man of Mystery

So?

I don't want to know him. I don't want to love him. I don't want to laugh or have coffee with him or any other Prime Minister, for that matter.

I want the Prime Minister to take care of business. Stop.

Jean Chretien was a loveable scamp, a delightful rascal. And what a great job he did for all of us...or should that be on all of us?

So Canwest is telling us that Mr. H. is a mystery. That's news? Didn't Anna Nicole Smith die again today? No more grisly murder trials to cover? No more harm reduction programs to endorse?

NEWT-ERED

Nobody cares if Newt Gingrich had an affair or two affairs or if he's a serial cheater. Well, that's not entirely accurate. Many Americans will care, and Focus on the Family cares enough to out the man live on the radio. Although that may have been a pre-ordained stunt to confess one's sins in public and get the pardon from the good Reverend Dobson and the several millions of sheep's votes that will come with it. Not baaaaaad.

I don't care how many wives or girlfriends or boyfriends or barnyard animals the man has been intimate with.

No, what is truly galling and most telling about the qualities of this creep is how he ditched his first two wives.

Wife One, he called on the phone to ask her hand in divorce while she was at her mother's 84th birthday party.

Wife Two, he served divorce papers on her while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer!

Be warned. maybe you think George Bush is bad. You'd be right, of course. But, be warned - this geek could be the next President of the United States of America.

Annie Lennox Every Time We Say Goodbye

How about one of the great modern singers delivering one of Cole Porter's great, sad masterpieces?!

"Why the god's above me, who must be in the know.."

Who is Writing lyrics like this?

"There is no love song finer, but how strange the change from major to minor..." WOW!

Justice Tilting Again

Justice is portrayed by a statue of a woman holding a set of balances. She is blindfolded, is she not?

Well... at least in this painting by Giordano, we can see she has a lot on her hands. Let's hope she had a healthy and nutritious breakfast recommended by Health Canada, or Food Canada, or Brekkie Canada.

But, I wander...

Here in British Columbia, Lady Justice is beaten about the head and shoulders with marvelous and consistent regularity. So much so, that your average guygal on the street, doesn't believe we actually have any justice.

And little wonder.

Compare 2 recent cases.

There's the 10-month sentence for professional objector Betty Krawczyk. And there's the no sentence at all for 2 creepy guys who stole over $1Million from CIBC bank. One of the guys happens to be related by marriage to the Premier.

It doesn't matter that Betty is a granny and that she's a woman. This is a clear case of the court having a temper tantrum, when all they had to do was charge her with trespassing. Forget that she is a personal hero of mine. Forget that there are thousands like me who delight in her refusals to go along with the crowd. Forget that many of us insist on seeing Betty as the poster girl for Thoreau and civil disobedience. She has no business being sent to jail, period.

Then there are Mr. Walls and Mr. Millard of Prince George fame who were busy pulling one of the oldest and most tired con games in the books - kiting bad cheques from one account to another to keep a failing enterprise afloat. These clowns are right out of "Fargo." You can almost hear them whining like Jerry Lundegaard (William Macy in the movie), "Hey, I'm cooperatin' here!"

But watch them dance down the highway now, clicking there little heels together, all rehabilitated magically by the apparent shame they've been feeling of late.

Happy ending, no?

THE DAILY NUMBER

2000.

That's the number of police officers now in training in Austria to prepare for the soccer lunatics who will emerge in full drunken revelry for the Euro 2008 tournament.

Well!

Thank god, we'll all be safe from the threat of 11-year old girls in head scarves!

Harmony Update

On Monday, I posted an item about Dr. David Ho, the owner of Harmony Airways, in which, quoting a third source, I said that Dr. Ho had been "busted over the weekend for solicitation and drug possession."

This was not correct.

As it turns out, no charges were laid.

Migrant Workers Murdered in B.C. on Int'l Women's Day

Today is International Women's Day.

All over the world, people are gathering in groups large and small to declare one heroic thing or another.

Here in B.C., we are following the so-called "tragedy" of a car crash that has killed 3 women and left many others injured.

Connection?

Simply this: 17 women, aged 20 to 60, travelling in a van at 6:20 in the morning (I was comfortably asleep in my warm and safe bed. Where were you?), in a van with wooden benches for seats and no seat belts. Camping trip? Religious retreat? Social work conference?

No. They were on their happy, happy way to pick berries.

The driver, a woman, lost control of her vehicle, the van flipped and now this.

The speeches will be made about the plight of women around the globe. And the speeches will be right, no doubt.

But we have unions here in British Columbia. And we have an intelligent and caring administration. Don't we? And we have regulations? And protections for workers. And inspectors. Don't we? Don't we?

Seventeen women. One van. Wooden benches not locked in place. No seat belts.

Go ahead. Make a speech.

Carol Lawrence sings George Gershwin and Leonard Bernstein

Yesterday's post of Thelonius Monk was so well received, I thought I'd give you another one to enjoy.

Here is Carol Lawrence, the original Maria in West Side Story, singing first what many of us consider th greatest love song ever written - Gershwin's "Someone to Watch Over Me," followed by Bernstein's "Could Be," usually song, of course, by Tony in West Side.

THELONIOUS MONK QUARTET - 'ROUND MIDNIGHT

Among the many great jazz players, living and gone, there are but a handful of singular geniuses. Here on stage in Norway in 1966 is pianist/composer Thelonius Monk, along with Charlie Rouse,Larry Gales and Ben Riley.

Dig it, and then dig it all over again...and again.

The Master Has a Birthday

Edward Albee is described universally as America's greatest living playwright, and he is having a birthday on Monday, March 12th.

He was born in 1928, so he's getting on. Good enough reason to celebrate the life and work of a man who has won, among many other accolades, the Pulitzer Prize 3 times.

You can read his bio and check out his list of plays here and here.

But if you really want to get into it all, dash down to the Jericho Arts Centre and revel in Terry Kelly and Anna Hagen leading a first rate cast in Albee's "A Delicate Balance."

Terry and Anna are both actors with credits several miles long, and, playing the long-wedded, long-suffering couple, Tobias and Agnes, they bring to their roles not only their finely tempered skills but also the dangerous and exciting and knowing fact of being partners in Life for several decades now.

Get off the couch and GO SEE this funny and sad and exhilarating piece in a wonderful intimate setting. It may just refresh your marriage, or, at the very least, remind you why you love the English language.

False Messengers

NBC has appointed a new boss for their evening Newscast.

They are in deep shock since losing a ratings week to ABC.

As usual, they've missed the point entirely.

Aside from the fact that so many former viewers are too busy to sit down at 6pm every week night, and so many former viewers, regardless of age, are getting their news from dozens of alternate sources on the web, the problem isn't the Wizards of Oz behind the curtain.

In this case, the problem is the anchor, Brian Williams.

Has there ever in the history of broadcast been a more manufactured construct than this robotic impersonator of a news anchor?

Last night, Mr. Williams was in Iraq. Perhaps he was "imbedded." I couldn't tell, because he wasn't in his nighties or his pj's. Instead, looking exactly like a glossy magazine spread for L.L. Bean, Mr. Williams was wearing a positively gorgeous buff New England-Maine-Vermont jacket and a fabulous half-zippered dark sweater/shirt underneath. The only thing that was missing was Mr. Whathisface from Seinfeld describing his trek through the Malaysian jungles and concluding with the price, "$179.99 in half sizes."

Mr. Williams has a nervous tic. He's had it from Day One. His head lops over to one side or the other all the time. He should see a doctor. Except that this is an affectation, a design. And it's bullshit. We're supposed to be drawn into his "casual sincerity and deep concern." Except that we are not, because we are either wondering about his clothing account or when he will see his chiropractor.

No doubt "News Anchor Idol" is the coming big hit.

The Emperor Never Says, "I'm Sorry."

You've heard, by now, of people being "in denial." Of course, you have. It's been the stuff of late night comedians for decades.

Well, meet Shinzo Abe, the recently elected Prime Minister of Japan.

There are those poor benighted souls wandering the darker corners of the earth who would have us believe that the Nazi Holocaust is a fiction, a dream, a fabulous P.R. campaign devised by those wily Jews who, by the way, control all the banks and all the money in the world.

Well, they've got nothing on good old Shinzo Abe.

In spite of the overwhelming files of evidence and thousands upon thousands of personal testimonials documenting the enforced prostitution of Korean and Chinese women by Japan during WWII, the Prime Minister is not only unwilling to offer some token apology, but he denies that any of this happened at all!

This is happening before our disbelieving eyes in a modern society ruled apparently by intelligent, elected representatives.

The shame of the "comfort women" is bad enough. To multiply it by pretending this is mere narrative is to rub enormous towers of salt into deep - and real - wounds.

Wake up, Japan. Find a new captain to steer the ship.

LOW FLYING CLOUDS

We were first made aware of this rather intriguing and bizarre story 2 days ago. We sat on it because we couldn't really verify the story through the customary 2 reliable sources.

But here it is as revealed through an airline website known as "Plane Buzz."

If true, Dr. David Ho, the owner of Harmony Airlines and whose family made an enormous fortune selling cigarettes in China, was busted over the weekend for solicitation and drug possession, asked to speak to his friend, the Chief of Police, and then had Global and CKNW drop all further news reports.

If this story is untrue, then why it did surface ever so briefly in the first place on these two well-respected news desks?

Are Justice and Journalism for sale?