New Border "Blow-Thru" Lane

Speed is of the essence.

In sport, in business, in sex, in border crosssings...

I anxiously await the cartoons that will follow today's news story that a local hooker has been successfully smuggling dope, concealed in all the usual places, because she had cultivated a special relationship with a stupid, horny border guard.

The story from this morning's Sun is here, but where are the good jokes?

By the way, the guard often collected on his kindness in letting his smuggler friend breeze through the border by pausing for a few moments of gas station sex.

Gas Station Sex - now there's a whole category that demands an opera, a learned treatise and a government grant.

Roger...Please get a Coach

Roger Federer, the man chasing tennis history, the man many of us believe to be the best we've ever seen, lost in the semi-finals last night to Novak Djokovic.

All credit to the young Serb, who was magnificent, beating Federer in 3 sets.

Federer was gracious in defeat, acknowledging that "The Joker" was clearly the better player on that court on that day.

But he added a new thought during the post-match press conference.

“Of course I’ve created a monster, so I know I need to always win every tournament. But semis is still, you know, pretty good.”

I will return to my plea, posted here back in December.

Roger...get a coach!

It is true, he is great, wonderful, amazing, the best.

But even Roger needs a coach on hand to point out the thousand and one little steps and miscues that can creep into elite performance.

Please, get a coach, so I can witness history when you win your 13th, 14th and 15th Grand Slam titles.

With Djokovic, Tsonga and a few other young studs on the horizon, that achievement has suddenly become less assured.

From The Mail

Hello, Sir David

Very puzzling. Senator Larry has changed his mind about the need for a coroner's inquest into the death of Frank Paul. Of course, we all know very well by now that those who disagree with the illustrious Senator are 'morons'. We have the Senator's own word for it, so it must be true.
So, now that the esteemed Senator disagrees with himself, presumably he must now count himself amongst the 'morons'.

Probably a good thing when I consider it. ;-)


all the best

David in North Burnaby

FRIDAY'S PROVINCE COLUMN

Vision Party Vancouver City Councilor Raymond Louie has paid off his mortgage. Have you?

Louie is in his early 40’s. He has a wife and 3 kids. He’s a working stiff like you and me. When first elected to Council in 2002, he quite his job to dedicate himself full time to the business of running a government. All for $53,000 a year. His wife went back to work.

What does this tell us? The man’s got focus, determination and old-fashioned goals.

These are liabilities?

Oh. I forgot.

This is a town where the biggest score is spotting Jennifer Aniston eating a pickle. Cooks and Condo Kings are our most exemplary citizens.

In his two terms in office, Louie has been a director or member of 16 boards, corporations and committees, including three Translink boards.

The knock on Louie is that he always has a stack of reports in front of him at Council meetings. God forbid he should be informed.

“I was shocked to learn that some councilors have never cracked a binder,” says Louie. “I want to know what I’m voting on.”

His critics say he’s too dull to be mayor.

Where has excitement got us?

After two show biz mayors, we’ve gone from being a city with some drug addiction, mental illness and homelessness problems to being the world’s poster city for drug addiction, mental illness and homelessness. Lovely.

Mayor Larry Campbell was the sizzle, no doubt. But Raymond Louie was the steak. Together, they approved the Woodward’s development, which holds the promise of re-vitalization for the Downtown Eastside, while adding 200 social housing units.

Louie proposed five childcare centers in the new South East False Creek development, the space provided by the builders, the services run by non-profit. The NPA cut it down to three. He proposed support for the Cambie merchants devastated by the Canada Line in the form of interest free loans. Voted down.

If the gregarious Larry Campbell was the right mayor for Vancouver six years ago, when the city was vying for the Olympics, then maybe Raymond Louie is the right mayor for this era, when what we need is not bells and whistles, but bills paid.

Louie is smart and decent and hard working. He knows what makes 12th and Cambie tick. He believes he has tremendous support from the Chinese and Sikh communities. He and Gregor Robertson, the Vancouver-Fairview NDP MLA who the Vision Party is courting for a run at the Mayor’s chair, are speaking regularly. They are involved in a delicate dance of Who Goes First?

“It’s not about the grandeur of the position, says Louie, “it’s about the right direction for the city and winning a majority on Council.”

He’ll decide in a few weeks if he wants to be mayor or take another term as councilor.

Extremism of any kind is not in his gene pool. So he doesn’t smile and laugh as much as your favorite bar buddy. Maybe we could stand reasonable and well managed for 3 years.

If he runs for Mayor, I’ll vote for him.

Carrying Dope Into a Prison is a RIGHT

Let's see if we understand this correctly.

A Matsqui prison guard spots a baby stroller testing positive for cocaine. The stroller belongs to a baby and its wonderful, caring mother, who are smuggling dope into the joint for their wonderful caring father and husband.

The guard alerts the Children's Ministry - who we all know are the paragon of responsibility - of the situation.

Is he given a medal, a badge of honor or courage, a civic citation for protecting children and the public?

No.

He is was threatened with discipline by the prison authorities for BREACHING THE PRISONER'S PRIVACY!!!

So this is what civil liberties have brought us?

Jails now have more drugs per square inch than any street corner at Main and Hastings because we must respect the privacies of prison inmates, including, apparently, their god-given right to possess, use and sell illegal narcotics.

In a similar case, at the same perfectly run Nut House, another woman arrived twice with a baby and the two sweet things tested positive for coke, meth, smack and THC.

Last year, in Quebec a loving, caring mom and her 6 week old baby were found visiting a prison carrying 32 ounces of heroin...on the baby, of course.

I suppose if the baby could talk, he/she could say, "Hey, I didn't know that shit was in here!"

This, by the way, is an excellent picture of dope fiends.

The same, caring scum that the Mayor wants to give drugs to and everyone else wants to "help" with free needles and clean places to shoot.

Our society has flipped.

We are a turtle lying on its back.

Psychiatry is the Scourge of the Crimianl Justice System

The Province's cover story tell us just about all we need to know about how psychiatry is eating away at our criminal justice system.

A father stabs his teen-age daughter to death because he hears voices from God.

Of course, he is found unfit to stand trial.

The shrinks have 45 days to decide what we, the community, should do with him.

The defense lawyer says Daddy Daughter Killer will "require prolonged treatment and that will be in a secure institution."

First, show me the secure institution. Where is this exactly?

And second, is he just being cute when he speaks of "prolonged treatment?"

Does that hold out the delightful possibility that one day his handlers will declare that he is "cured" and is no longer a risk? I suppose if he's run out of daughters to kill, that would make him a good risk.

Rita Hayworth - Put The Blame On Mame

That's Glenn Ford panting in the crowd...from "Gilda," of course...

Where Can I see the Best Flicks?

Movie lovers take note. All 7 movies playing at Leonard Scheins 3 Festival Cinemas locations - the Fifth Avenue, the Ridge and the Park - are Oscar nominated.

Check them out.

Fred Astaire And Rita Hayworth --

Clinton & McCain the NY Times Choices

The New York Times editorial board has named Hillary Clinton and John McCain as their choices for the Democartic and Republican candidacies.

Their arguments are persuasive.

The Clinton editorial is here, and the McCain piece here.

Victoria Police Investigations

BC'c police complaint commisioner will investigate 2 cases involving the Victoria police. One of these cases, we discussed here yesterday.

Ryneveld is right to begin these investigations.

We weren't there and we don't know exactly how things went.

Several people have disagreed with me about the case of the 15-yearold girl, and that's great, because engaement and dialogue is what this blog is about.

I stick to my position that the girl in that case may have been way more than a small nuisance and that restraint is sometimes necessary.

Did those cops go over the top?

I don't know.

Where are the Six-fingered schools?

Toronto is considering "Africentric" schools for black kids.

That's to go along with the gay school and First nations schools.

Where are the fat schools, the left-handed, tall Asian schools and the determined-to-be-a-seamstress schools?

I had lunch yesterday with a man from Ghana.

He is black.

He got a BA in Akra and an MA in Atlanta, Georgia.

He teaches people who to be successful entrepreneurs. The people he teaches are black, white, yellow, green and purple. They are slim and round and short and high and high.

Toronto, Board of Ed....give your head a shake.

Stop me...I'm talking again...

The BC government is considering banning cell phones form young drivers. Hm?

The most dangerous nut jobs I've encountered - make that, I encounter every day - are middle-aged "nice" people. Women shopping, men hustling...one arm steering their Exploders through Safeway lots of warp speed while jammering on their fones.

I talk occasionally on my cell while driving, and I always know that I am wrong, that I shouldn't and that I am a lesser driver when I do.

The truth is I'm not involved in saving the world's financial markets, so nothing I have to say is that important it couldn't wait until I get to home or to my office or to a parking space.

Rap Sheet - Our Weekly Crime Round-Up

1. Reyat will plead guilty of perjury.

O.K. And then? Will he be given an extra 5 or 10 years of prison for killing 331 people?

Will he reveal the truth about the other bombers? Is there anything this man can say that can be believed?

2. The career gangster was "a loving person." Of course. And so was Don Corleone and Tony Soprano. We are complex. Whitman said it best. "I am large. I contain multitudes." But was he really thinking of his neighbourhood bling-boasting, gun-toting drug lord at the time?

3. The unnamed teen who attacked Michael Levy with a hatchet - thus leaving the young victim to a life of misery - may have his case raise to adult court. Please. You're old enough to drive and kill for your country. You're old enough to do the time for the crime.

4. 99 ski resort operators in BC, Alberta and Ontario have agreed that they won't charge "out-of-bounders" for rescue costs. "We don't want anyone to feel they shouldn't call us because they can't afford a rescue."

This is precisely why they SHOULD charge these fools. Are you telling me that, dying of hypothermia in the snow and the dark, you're going to hesitate to call for help? I don't think so.

Obama asked if Bill Clinton was the first black president

Can Girls be Violent?

BIG BIG SHOCKING HEADLINE.

Girl cuffed etc. in police cell.

Perhaps at first hysterical glance this appears to be an obvious case of "police brutality."

Perhaps we weren't there.

Perhaps you have never been in the presence of a drunk and violent teenager.

William Glasser, the author of the ground-breaking work, "Reality Therapy," pointed out 40 years ago that the first thing you have to do with an out-of-control person is stop him.

Of course, today in a society soft of belly and brain matter, a society dedicated to the proposition that anything I do is OK, such notions as restraint seem quaint,

Why is this girl suing the police 3 years later?

Perhaps this was a really, really slow news day.

Duh?

80,000 Olympic plates sold.

???

The moment you get this impulse to waste $60, please call me and I'll give you a list of worthy charities.

Short story

A man drinks all night at a Victoria pub. The staff don't stop servng him, but they try to encourage him not to drive home. They warn him that they will call in his license number to the police. He drives, he crshes into a wall. He's dead.

The good part of this story is that he didn't kill anyone else.

$450/Hour? One born every minute

A rare kudo to the BC Law Society.

Usually protective to a fault, like all other so-called "professional" bodies, the Society is investigating massive over billing by Liberal Senator Mobina Jaffer and her son.

This raises among other questions why do we have a Senate? How does Jaffer qualify? What earnings are Senators allowed outside of their heavy, serious Red Chamber duties?

End the Free Rides

Guest Editorialist, John Martin, writes very well in the Province today what many of us have been hollaring for years. No more Statuatory Release for prisoners. You want parole? Earn it, the old fashioned way. Whatever that may be.

Read this first-rate piece here.