Victor Discovers the real Meaning of a Sammy Christmas
Hi Mensche:
I am so deeply ashamed.
Like many, I heard about the coke addict who stole the Christmas presents from the room of a seriously ill girl in Children's' Hospital. I heard, from the Official On-duty Police Spokesperson (OOPs for short) that the thief was "known to police and had a rap sheet going back to 1987'.
Let's call him "The Grunge Who Mainlined Christmas"
At first, I was lulled into the media spin that this was some sort of Grinch story. You know. Bad guy and victim. A Christmas fable.
But then I looked in the heavens, to the Star of Sam and realized that the real victim was the coke-head.
Portraying the seriously ill girl as a victim was Holiday Season Hokey.
No. The Sam Star told me that Mr. 20-year Cokehead was a victim of all of us. In our greed, we soldiered on since 1987, ignoring his real cravings.
You see, what he really wants is a steady job, sensible shoes, membership in the Rotary Club, daily flossing, eating a balanced diet from all the major food groups.
He's simply been stealing and doing nose candy while working on his resume since Mulroney was Prime Monster.
But! There is hope for Mainline Grunge.
It is called the Sam Plan.
First, we give him a free apartment for two years. No rules.
During that time, we give him free substitute drugs.
This brings us to 2010.
Having lost his social skills, he may be lacking on pickup lines.
No Problem.
There will be Comfort Women in Vancouver in 2010. Sam is "open" to discussing the idea of legalized brothels for the Olympics.
Interesting.
In a city that has a 30 percent Chinese population, Parapathetic Sam thinks the invading hordes of tourists in 2010 should have the same options that the Japanese army had in Nanking.
3 comments:
In April 2010 after we all come out of hiding in our basements as we escape the insanity, we'll see the Comfort Women at City Hall
demanding restitution or a pay increase.
Another case of the injustice system 'working full time' for the bad guys. The lawyers continue to feed on the public purse for these folks. Why is this guy not in jail? Stealing in a hospital? Sick!
Well written, Victor! Good of you to post it, David!
The cynical brilliance of these words are, I dare suggest, supported by a vast majority of Canadians. In fact, if memory serves, a recent poll suggested that about 90% of Canadians think that much more needs to be done to keep our criminals under control.
But let me gaze into my crystal ball, boys and girls, and take a small glimpse at 2008: There will very likely be a federal election fought over the issue of crime, with Stephen Harper et co. saying that tougher laws and longer sentences need to be passed. Stephane Dion and Jack Layton will be adamantly against him.
According to the aforementioned poll results, the Conservatives should get a vast majority. But they won't because when it comes down to it, Canadians are a limp wristed sheep, full of great bluster but few convictions.
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