Today's Province Column

Moms who leave babies alone a sign of sad times

David Berner
The Province
Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Me Generation rules.

I parked the car in a Vancouver Safeway lot a few days ago.

Walking toward the store, I saw a baby sitting in her car seat in the back of a car -- alone.
The front, passenger-side window was lowered.
Anyone could open the door.

No parent in sight.

The "mother" came out of the store. She was 35ish, attractive, beautifully dressed in casual sports clothes . . . Mrs. Nike Reebok Lululemon.

"Excuse me, ma'am, do you think that leaving your child unattended in a car is really a good idea?"

She smiled benignly at me. Clearly I am a lunatic.

"I was about to call the police," I said.

She smiled again, even more warmly.

"Well, you do what you think you have to do."

She was so kind to me in my distress. She got into her Beemer and put it in reverse.

"Perhaps you could think about this today," I said.

She smiled and drove off.

This woman was happy, truly happy. Nothing I could have said or done would have upset her perfectly coiffed equilibrium.

I went across the street into a fruit-and-vegetable store, bought some broccoli and tomatoes, paid for them and turned to leave, forgetting the vegetables.

I thought of that British couple who had their four-year-old kidnapped last May. The McCanns were vacationing in Portugal and they left Madeleine and her two-year-old twin siblings alone in a rented condo while they went out for dinner.

Later, I was in a shop on West 4th Avenue. I paid for my purchase and asked the two young saleswomen their assessment of Mrs. Nike Reebok Lululemon.

They freaked. They would never leave their child alone in a car for one second. No running in just for a minute.

Someone asked why I didn't call 911.

Well, last year, much the same thing happened on West 10th Avenue. An infant was alone in a van, with the sliding door open and no sign anywhere of a parent. And I did immediately call the police.

Before the police arrived, the "mother" emerged from a tanning spa with a fashion mag in her hands.

I asked her if this was her car and child. She said they were. I told her the police were on their way. She thought I was a public nuisance. She laughed at me.

When the police arrived, one officer stood by me. The other stood with the mother and the two of them, the mother and the police officer, laughed a lot.

I asked them what was so impossibly funny.

Apparently, there is something inherently hilarious about irresponsible, senseless parents who are born to shop and tan and dine out . . . and the crazy old folk who accuse them of reckless child abandonment.

Watch for the new ABC reality show, based on this growing trend, called Lose Your Kid, Find a Grumpy Old Man.

The early returns from the focus groups say it's a smash hit.

david@davidberner.com

© The Vancouver Province 2008