OSCAR, SHMOSKER

The annual ritual More Precious than All Others is haste, upon us. (Forgive me, I'm working on 2 Shakespeare plays. Would Will have ever won a statue? Maybe after giving the Bard a pass 19 years in a row, the Academy would finally give him one for "lifetime achievement," when he was finally "sans eyes, sans ears, sans taste, sans everything.")

If you want some real fun, go to the Alternative Oscars brought to us each year by Graham Peat's wonderful Videomatica store. Here's how: www.videomatica.ca/alternativeoscars.

Meanwhile, here's my ruminations on all things Hollywood for tomorrow evening.

Haven't seen all the contedahs, won't in time see all the contandahs and will tape the whole mess for much shorter viewing later in the evening.

Helen Mirren has already been rightly crowned The Queen. All others go to the bar and order a double double.

Although Peter O'Toole is wonderful in Venus and he should have been given a shelf full of statues for Lawrence of Arabia and Becket (he wasn't), the Oscar goes to a much deserved Forest Whitaker for his bringing to rich and funny and scary life Idi Amin In The Last King of Scotland. Mr. Whitaker has been blowing our minds for years as one of America's very best actors in a host of memorable movie appearances, and this piece of work is one for the ages.

The Lives of Others is up for the award in the Best Foreign Language Film, and I will tell you that it is a great work of art, it is unforgettable and mesmerizing, and not only that, we really like it a lot! Give it the prize already.

Movies like Little Miss Sunshine and The Departed (should be, The Deported) have no business being nominated; Little Miss Sunshine, because it is a tiny, charming amusement, not much more than an extended comedy sketch with a muddled and unsatisfying ending; and The Deformed, because it is a dreadful piece of highly crafted nothing. Everybody shoot everybody, wake me when it's over.

But little Marty has been sucking Hollywood overtime for years and he'll probably win several entirely undeserved awards. Feh!

PARTY TONIGHT!

Two weeks ago, I told you all about the Big Bash happening tonight at the Law Courts in downtown Vancouver. Dinner, silent auction and Live Auction of some pretty spectacular trips and other alluring goodies. All in aid of senior health care.

A few tickets remain. Please check this Fun Time out now, and JOIN US!

LIBERTY VS. SECURITY

"The overarching principle of fundamental justice that applies here is this: before the state can detain people for significant periods of time, it must accord them a fair judicial process."CHIEF JUSTICE BEVERLEY McLACHLIN, of Canada, in a ruling striking down a law that allowed the indefinite detention of terrorism suspects.

The Federal Government is now in a challenge position, having being asked by the Supreme Court to revise its Anti-Terrorism bill in accordance with the Charter. How, in a civilized democracy, can we justify holding people in detention without any due process of law, when the the very nature of a civilized democracy is due process of law?

For the full story, read the New York Times version here.

COP GONE. STRANGELOVE WINS.

I have no idea what has propelled Vancouver's Chief of Police, Jamie Graham, to announce that he will retire from his current post at the end of his contract in about a month's time. And, in fairness, I cannot or will not yet cast judgement on his tenure these past 5 years.

But I do know this. The current mayor, S.S., aka Dr. Strangelove, was at war with Chief Graham. Whatever they may tell the press and public, the truth is they barely tolerated each other's presence in the same room.

S.S. is on record saying that he doesn't think the police need more money or more officers - a notion completely and utterly out of synch with both the police and the taxpaying public. Dr. Strangelove's current council recently turned down exactly such a request from the Department.

Behind closed doors, His Lunacy, will tell anyone that listens that he has no patience for Enforcement, which is supposed to be one of the famous Four Pillars, that he doesn't want the police interfering in what he considers a medical issue, and frankly, he wishes that the police would just be quiet about addictions and other civic issues.

Maybe Jamie Graham should run for Mayor.

THE NUMBERS LIE

Next to armaments, which are NEVER discussed in the media, and oil and illegal drugs, the largest and most profitable business in the world is pharmaceuticals. Pills. Prescription drugs.

Why this enormous and often corrupt industry needs and gets the tacit and willing support of organizations that claim to be news gatherers is beyond me. Shall we be simple and just call it MONEY?

The headline today continues the Public Lie: ONE IN SIX North American adults suffer from clinical depression.

This is simply not true.

The so-called gay community managed for a while to convince the public that one in ten persons was homosexual. This is not true.

And so it goes. "Special interests" like the Pill Pushers, who after all have a patina of science and legitimacy on their sides, can corral the public airwaves and spew out this offending nonsense at will. The purpose is simple: SELL MORE PILLS.

No doubt there are many Canadians who are blue, and many Canadians who are miserable, and even many Canadians who might accurately be diagnosed as "clinically depressed." But for every one of those poor souls, there are dozens of sad men and women who are almost casually diagnosed by their doctors as clinically depressed, given their soma tablets and sent into pharmoblivion.

I'm sorry, but is GlaxoSmithKline or Merck or Pfizer paying for this latest onslaught of advertorial hogwash?

What is depressing is the laziness in the current State of Journalism.

Please use all your remaining common sense and reasoning when reading The Daily Droppings. All is not what it seems.

"SICK F**K" The TV Series

I'm so excited my guts may explode.

Our new TV Series, "Sick F**K is a go!!!

The meeting with Fox executives took exactly ten minutes. They said they had never heard such an explosive pitch. That usually translates as, "You'll never work in this town again." But, in this case, it meant not a pilot, not 3 sample hours, but the full commitment by the network for 13 complete seasons. This is unheard-of, precedent-setting and, well, mind-blowing, what can I say?

The Fox people said it, not me. "Eastwood and The Duke are pussies compared to this."

The concept is simple, as, I suppose, are all winning ideas.

Each weak, sorry, each week, some poor mad fool, pushed to his or her limits (Violence and retribution knows no bounds of race or gender, does it?), acts out some very visible, playable and filmable moment of revenge, or some other deeply felt, unrequited emotion.

For example, in our first episode (rumoured now to air on Lent), a guy in Wisconsin blows up a pair of school buses filled with kids on their way to a seniors home. He drives non-stop to Wilmington, Delaware, rushes into a busy pizza parlor, shouting "The clowns are here! The clowns are here!" When he tries to crowd into a booth with a family of singing Mormons, he is shot to pieces by two off-duty cops. It's dynamite.

In the second week, a woman, grieving over what we can only surmise is an imagined slight by a dog-handler in a neighbourhood park, awakes stealthily at 3 am and decapitates her husband and three children. Later, she dismembers the bodies, stores the parts for a while in the freezer, and finally, disposes of said evidence, by selling it to several organic food stores, convincing them that they have bought a revolutionary new line of health products aimed at clearing the system of toxic build-ups.

Now here's the Kicker. And I think this is what made the Fox people so eager to get their hands on this before any of the specialty channels or the wireless/Internet lunatics.

Ready?

You never know, from show to show, if this is a scripted piece of fiction or, in fact, reality TV. Shooting digitally and saturating the colors, we cross a number of boundaries and make it that much harder for people to know for sure what they are watching.

My team of writers is amazing. Without naming names, their backgrounds are as diverse and schooled as politician, anaesthetist, brigadier-general, postal worker and male stripper (but only for a while to get through college.)

Now based entirely on industry buzz, the show has already garnered its share of (unwarranted, of course) criticism. Some are saying the violence is just too, too much. Others are complaining that the perpetrators rarely, if ever, are brought to justice -whatever that is supposed to be. For example, they are niggling that episode 47, the one in which the bank clerk spends his lunch hours sniping at passers-by from an over-pass in Scranton, Pennsylvania is unfair because the guy's execution is not verified by our cameras. Come on!

So.

If you want to be considered for the show, or know someone who you think would be perfect, don't forget you can e-mail us at perfect@sickf**ktv.nut, or give us a call, toll-free at 1-800-IMA-SICKF**K.

All I can say is, "Thank goodness, most of you know the difference between entertainment and real life, " and "Yes, ma'am, that's a deposit, and yes, that's the right amount."

BIG NOISE IN HOUSE...SO?

Perhaps, as usual, I've missed something.

Harper & The Boys spend the day yelling at each other in the ever-so-aptly named Commons.

The Prime Minister points to a local Newspaper article accusing the Liberals of scuttling the Air India enquiry for partisan political reasons. A Liberal backbencher is related to a person "of interest" in this never-ending nightmare, in which millions are spent and justice is never found. Or so the press story goes.

So the Liberals pound their desks and scream, "Bad form, Old Chaps."

Yawn, goodnight.

BED PAN ALLEY

You gots to love the songwriters in Victoria. They're churning out those mega-hits day after day. Numbers like, "On Budget & On Time," "New Housing Starts Galore," and "Tax Breaks for Everyone, Like, Everyone!"

Meanwhile, down in the old Royal City, where hospital patients are trying to recover from ass-breaking surgery...

THERE ARE NO CLEAN BEDPANS.

Here is your laxative to help you get regular again after all that anaesthetic...and, because we have no clean bedpans, here's your diaper, baby. Poooooo, away!

Ah, it's a fine life. And a fine and caring government.

THE GREAT KERRISDALE TREE HOUSE SCANDAL

Good news and bad news.

The bad news first: Guy builds a tree house for his two young sons. Looks great - the tree house, not the guy. Guy looks OK, but this is about the tree house, right? Guy knows a bit about architecture and design, so the tree house looks like Noah's Ark.

City Hall shuts him down. Rules, permits, fees, yadda-yadda-yadda, the usual soul-destroying, initiative-killing crappola.

Now the good news, seems the Wicked Witch of the West (Side) who is, of course, the complaining neighboooor, has shown rare courage and actually identified herself. Her name is Janice McShane. Or was that Jaundice McShame?

God forbid a guy should buy a house, pay taxes and build a tree house for his kids. Next thing you know the neighbooors will complain that he's not attending Presbyterian service three Sundays out of four.

THEATRICAL ANNOUNCEMENTS: Two

I will be performing Mark Leiren-Young's brilliant and award-winning one-man show, "Shylock," in Victoria next month. The presentation is a fund-raiser for Positively Africa, a unique and wonderful AIDS in Africa project run by Peter and Peggy Bardon, who literally take the monies raised to the Africa location where it will do the most good. Both the playwright and I are donating our services.

I was honored to present the world premiere of "Shylock" at Vancouver's Bard on the Beach in August 1996. I have since played this 90 minutes piece dozens of times in so many different settings, including an unforgettable night in Venice, Italy in 2001.

The play is controversial, thought-provoking, outrageously funny, and, in the end, poignant, moving and powerful.

Please come over to Victoria and join us, as follows:

Alix Gooldin Hall

907 Pandora Avenue, Victoria

Friday and Saturday, March 16 & 17

Curtain: Sharp at 7:30

Doors open at 6:45

Tix: at the door, at Munro's Books, Ivy's Bookshop & Lyle's Place, all in Victoria

Enquiries: 1-250-893-7094

THEATRICAL ANNOUNCEMENTS: One

I'm delighted to announce that -no, I have not become Olivier's Ghost - I will be playing Claudius, the King, in the following production.

May 11- May 26, 2007

THE TRAGEDY OF HAMLET, PRINCE OF DENMARKby William Shakespeare

Independent production of The Centre Creative Initiatives

Does Hamlet's mother Gertrude share in uncle Claudius' guilt? Does Hamlet continue to love Ophelia even as he spurns her? Is her death a suicide or an accident? Does the ghost of Hamlet's father offer reliable knowledge, or does it seek to deceive and tempt Hamlet? Is Hamlet morally justified in taking revenge on his uncle? Are Hamlet's actions just? Does he have the right to act as he does? The stakes riding on these questions are enormous, as the actions of the characters can bring disaster upon an entire kingdom. Looks like modern politics, yes?
"What is there about Shakespeare that would interest a contemporary American?" Visitors send me this question from time to time.If being a "contemporary American" means being focused on dirty TV sitcoms, greed, casual sex, big-money sports, shout-and-pout grievance-group politics, televangelism, professional wrestling, crybabies, slot machines, postmodernism, political action committees, and "war on drugs" profiteering... then the answer is probably "Nothing." If a contemporary American can still ask: "Is life worth living in a world full of wrong? And can I live well?" -- then the answer is maybe that "Shakespeare deals with basic human issues."

Director Irina Templeton
Casting Director Adam Lolacher
Producer Luke Day Production Dates: May11 - May 26th, preview night May 10th.Location: Jericho Arts Centre

The Conspiracy of the Status Quo

O.K. I'm starting to sound like a completely marginalized, left-wing, unrepentant hippie nut case. Starting? Maybe just coming full circle.

Anyway...

Yesterday, the local rag gave the Premier a full voice on the Op Ed page. Today, it's the Finance Minister waving her illusory social housing package. Like these people need a platform? They can't get headlines and a TV camera every time they burp?

Then the editorial continued the Official Message: This Heartfelt Government is going ga-ga on social housing.

This, of course, is pre-digested drivel. See my post below.

But when the rag and the tube and the net and the airwaves all come from the same BIG, BIG, BIG house, what would you expect? Criticism? Thought? Discussion? A little bit of a shard of a hope of a whisper of a rumour of the truth? Dream on, Dear Bloggists.

Transparencie$ - Budget Smoke & Mirror$

We are to believe that the new Provincial Budget has set aside $250 Million for new housing. We are also to believe that we will win the Lotto, beat cancer, live forever and star in many award-winning shows. Okay.

This is simple.

What has been set aside for new housing is in fact the interest on $250 Million, which amounts to about $10 Million.

Now let's get in touch with reality.

Last week, a house in my neighbourhood was sold. Standard 33 X 120 foot lot. The house is a tiny, 80 year old, 2-bedroom, one-bath shack. A tear-down, a piece of burnable garbage. BUT. Because the house is on the north side of the street and the street below it is very below it, the view potential is fantaaaaastic! Mountains, water and city forever.

Price? A steal at $1.2 Million. Gone in under a week.

So Carole Taylor's much trumpeted bold new initiative on housing will result in exactly...what?

Gross Negligence an Accident

Here is a snapshot of modern life at its best.

A Calgary woman leaves her 6 year old and 2 year old alone in a running SUV while she dashes inside an office building for some terribly important mission.

Can we stop the film right there?

Try to list the hideous things that could now happen. Car rolls down a hill. Kidnapper kidnaps the kids. Kids suffocate.

Have you done this? Will you? Are you completely nuts?

Yet people do this every day. People who are in a hurry. People who believe that they are immune to life's tragedies. People who are stupid selfish children disguised as responsible adults.

Last year I came across exactly such a situation and called the police, who appeared about 5 minutes later. In the interim the stupid, selfish mother materialized form a Tanning Salon. Of course, an argument ensued. One policeman thought I was funny. One policeman thought the woman was an idiot. I guess it was a draw.

In Calgary, the result of this mother abandoning her children in a running SUV was that her daughter suffocated herself on the automatic window. (HEY, LADY, IT'S GOT ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES. THIS IS THE ONE YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE.)

The woman is so selfish and stupid that she simply got in the car and drove away, dropping her older child first at school. Then she noticed that - oops - her daughter was - oops - like, dead.

Punchline? This has been called "a tragic accident."

No. This is gross negligence bordering on manslaughter bordering on murder approaching madness.

This is a telling tale of modern life. We have everything. We know everything. We are busy and totally self-absorbed. Nothing can happen to me. I'm in a wide-screen technicolor movie.

I would never, ever, ever, ever leave a child alone in a car for a millibreath of a nano-second. Would you?

By the way, she was part of the SUV Nation - a Chevy Blazer pictured herein.

$$$ Follow the Money $$$

Ah, the ironies.

Finance Minister Carole Taylor is shown smiling her unquestionably beautiful smile with her lovely red Wizard of Oz budget shoes. The next story in this morning's Sun tells of 5 women being arrested for protesting social service cuts.

The women appeared at Ms. Taylor's constituency office and chained themselves together. It took police hours to disentangle the women, who now may be charged with "mischief."

But it is Ms. Taylor, the Premier and Stan Hagen, who was previously the Minister entirely not responsible for Children and Families, who should be charged with mischief, for it is they who have consistently abandoned the neediest and most vulnerable amongst us, while towering monuments are being built.

Ms. Taylor says of these women, whom I applaud, that "it's the kind of demonstration that should be condemned in British Columbia."

No.

Rather, it is governments that ignore the suffering of Children and Families, that slash day care funding and built castles in the sand that should be condemned.

Castles in the sand? Hagen?

Yesterday I carried on about the ever expanding costs of the Trade & Convention Centre Expansion, predicting that it will cross the finish line late and over a Billion Dollars.

Today, Vaughn Palmer continued the story in the Vancouver Sun on page A3.

You Know His Name...

The New Bond Video is a Scream!

EUROPE THREATENS PRIVACY

An astonishing little piece appeared in the New York Times this morning. It regards plans to monitor every phone call and internet usage in the European union. Read the story here.

THE FRONT PAGE

The three stories featured on the front page of the morning Vancouver Sun have curious and circuitous links.

1)Some parents are angry about the new gay-friendly material that will appear in public schools.

2)An Iranian refugee was arrested in a local church sanctuary.

3)Former Chief Justice Antonio Lamer is advising the Prime Minister to stop trying to influence judges.

What makes these stories so interesting, and what at the same time, connects them is that they are again about Your Rights vs. My Rights in the context of a self-advertised multi-cultural society, and that all sides of all the arguments are reasonably defensible.

1)In a perfect world, toward which we may continually strive, people wouldn't hate or discriminate against gays, blacks, whites, Jews, Christians, Haitians and Rosicrucians. On the other hand (as Tevye, the Milkman, would say), if I am a parent, I have a right to take my child out of classes that I think are inappropriate for or offensive to me or my child.

2)Illegal refugee claimants who are hiding should and can be arrested. On the other hand, while it is not written into law, the notion of church sanctuary has long been an accepted practice, and, frankly, there is something disturbing to me about the police "invading" the quiet of a church to arrest someone.

3)The process of appointing people to the Supreme Court is deeply flawed and needs a modern overhaul. On the other hand, the Prime Minister, although he may be a bit wooden-clogged in his approach, is right to say what so many other and reasonable Canadians are saying. "Let's think a little more about the safety of the community in sentencing and not quite so much about the alleged rehabilitation of the convicted criminal."

Each of these stories id worthy of lengthy debate. The commentary below is OPEN and will have to do until places for discussion of public policy - once at the core of radio, television and print media -are returned.

LEMONADE STAND EXPLODES!

If you ran a little neighbourhood coffee house - well, you couldn't, of course, because the taxes and red tape would kill you - and your expenses went up 40%, what would you do? I mean, besides fold your tent and get a job with the post office?

Well, if your little coffee shop is a government flagship and it's timed for unveiling at the famous Olympics, then hang the cost! Hey, it's only the hard-earned money of teachers and postal workers and doctors and street cleaners known otherwise and so cavalierly as TAXPAYERS.

So the Trade & Convention Centre expansion, tagged originally at a mere $565 Million is now going to cost tree pruners and dog trimmers and history professors and hospital cafeteria staff more like $800 Million. "Big deal," says Victoria.

And you can bet your SUV or your hybrid that the real cost will easily exceed a Billion Dollars when all is said and done.

Welcome to the ancient honorable world of Politics and Public Spending. And we've learned from history...exactly, what?

FRIENDLY SKIES?

There are some headlines you need to read 5 or 6 times, and even then you're not quite sure you are dreaming or reading the morning paper. Here's one of the best and the latest: "AIR CANADA TO HALT ALL FLIGHTS TO INDIA."

Huh?

Canada's official airline claims it needs all its aircraft now for service to China.

This is an "either/or" proposition?

Let me see if I understand this. I don't; but let's try.

Every flight I have taken in recent years from Europe back to Canada, whether through Heathrow or Frankfurt has been more than 50% occupied by Indians from India. My October 2006 flight was at least 80% so occupied.

So...people from India only want to come here? And people from here don't want to go to India? No. I don't think so.

India is the second most populous country in the world - second, of course, to China. It's very nice that Air Canada has woken up and realized that it should provide steady service to the major centres of China. But to do that by cutting off service to India??? What part of mismanagement do I not understand?

The aircraft pictured herein is for hire. Call me at 1-800-I-FLY-INDIA.