FREEDOM TO RENT

Homeowners ignore Olympic rental licence requirement

Only 47 landlords planning to provide accommodation for 2010 Games applied

When I read a headline like this one in this morning's Vancouver Sun, I do not conclude that Vancouverites are a bunch of scofflaws.

Rather, it seems clear to me that common sense has prevailed.

Since when should I have to apply to the City of Gangcouver to rent out my house if I so choose?

The licence fee in Vancouver is $106, in Whistler it is $300 and in West Vancouver the cost is $150.

For which money, I would get what?

A pat on the back? A good citizenship award? Olympic gold?

More like Chump of the Year Medal.

The reason that so few have applied is that this is a johnny-come-lately irrelevant by-law designed to accomplish...[insert your own mystery here.]

Now, having said that...

Am I renting out my house during the Olympics?

No.

You know why?

'cause it's my house and I don't want some coke-addled NBC thrush gumming up my home.

By the way, as you can tell by the photo, my house is in Delta with quick access to the freeway and Tsawwassen and Ladner and the boats to the islands.

Drop by when you're in the 'hood, will ya?

p.s. Please bring milk. The fridge is on the fritz.

Well Orgizmized

Well, it's good to know that at least somone in Canerda has his act together.

Too bad it's the Mafia.

Too bad all those old gags about "cementing" good relationship with government and legit biz are all based on hard-edged reality.

At least, that appears to be the case in La Belle Province.

Oh, yeah.

And Alberta and B.C. too.

(I was appraoching Marine Drive on Cambie Street on Friday and I found myself, stopped at the traffic light, gazing idly at those so attractive cement pillars holding up the new Canada Line and thinking once again about the unavoidable fact - $13 Million/kilometre for LRT vs. $133 Million for SkyJoke. Which raised the age old question: Whose cousin got the cement contract?)

Some intrepid souls are even asking for an inquiry into ties between government, business and organized crime.

Antonio Nicaso, the author if several books on crooks, says, "I don't think in Canada there is political will or commitment to fight organized crime."

All three feral parties...oh, scusa me, federal parties...have refused comment.

Apparently, much of the crime involves bids on construction jobs, which curiously, mysteriously, always always end up being filled by Mafia-controlled companies.

Imagine.

But don't worry.

"We're moving to Las Vegas, Kay, and in five years all of our business interests will be completley ligitimate. Even my father knows that his way of doing business is finished."

NEVER YOU MIND

Jamie Graham, formerly Vancouver's Police Chief and now Victoria's Police Chief, (proving F. Scott Fitzgerald wrong when he said "There are no second acts in American life." Oh, right. Victoria isn't in America.) has come out fighting.

Mental-health cuts mean more homelessness, crime, police chief worries

Vancouver Island Health Authority trims number of caseworkers, hospital beds for the mentally ill

Well, good for him.

He is right, of course.

While VANOC is blessing its employees with $23,000 bonuses, the Vancouver Island Health Authority announced earlier this week that it is reducing the number of caseworkers and hospital beds for the mentally ill.

At the same time, community agencies offering counselling and therapy are losing funding from the health authority. Recent gaming grant cuts had already left many agencies scrambling for cash.

But don't you worry your silly little head over this.

One of the health authorities leading lights, The unfortunately named Alan Campbell said yesterday the cuts won't imperil people with acute mental illness, although people with lesser needs will find it harder to access care.

Mr. Campbell said that even after the cuts announced this week, services for mental health and addictions are better-funded now than they were 18 months ago.

Hahahaha...

This is the very worst and most cynical kind of spin doctoring.

Here is but one example of the damage being inflicted.

Seven case managers from Victoria Mental Health have been let go, leaving 400 people without that support.

Let's say that again, shall we?

Seven case managers from Victoria Mental Health have been let go, leaving 400 people without that support.

In the grand scheme of things, these cuts are lunch money. They are a drop in the sewage polluted waters of Juan de Fuca Straight.

Of course, this is money that is not earmarked for the Sea to Sky High Highway or the Rav Line or the luge or skating oval or the security and traffic management for the Games. So why would it be in any way important to the government that works and lives part time in Victoria?

UNKINDEST CUT

A religious nut case circumcises himself.

Which of course he botches.

Fair enough. Go mutilate yourself. I should care?

But now, the fool has attempted to circumcise his little boy. Which, of course, he botched terribly.

The B.C. Supreme Court has found this so-called father guilty of negligence.

Moral of the story - Home Circumcision is out.

But there is something much more interesting to me about this story.

And it is this:

The man's lawyer is Doug Christie.

Christie has made himself famous defending neo-Nazis across the nation, claiming in case after case that these scum are defenders of "free speech."

As in the right to tell school children in math classes, for example, that Jews are rats, etc.

Christie has positioned himself as a great defender of free speech.

Of course, he argues in the present case that Mr. Home Handy Nut Job was practicing his religious freedoms.

Maybe someday we will learn what it is exactly that drives Mr. Christie to his peculiar choices.

WHERE HAS ALL THE MONEY GONE?

Central Mortgage and Housing Corporation has been saving the Canadian economy.

So claims a fascinating article in this morning's ROB in the Globe.

The only problem is they've gone slightly mad in the process, raising their own exposure from a $350 Billion limit in 2007 to a $600 Billion limit today.

Can you say, "Risky," boys and girls?

What isn't mentioned at all in the article is an issue that I think is equally important.

If CMHC is doing so darn well, where oh where is all the money they USED TO spend on social housing?

If you want to look at the DTES, mental health and addiction problems, so much of the problem can be put right back at the front door of CMHC which 30 years ago was funding the kind of housing we now so urgently need.

When that practice disappeared, many of our social nightmares began in earnest.

You needn't look at Gregor Nice Boy or even his Royal Meanness over in Victoria for solutions to homelessness.

The cookie jar is in Ottawa. Always has been. And it's called CMHC.

CLEAN UP

Low Cost Alcohol Rehab

Therapy with surfing,boating,biking Fishing,Free Detox,30days $3950

So reads an ad published by Google right here on my blog.

I should be grateful. In the three + years that I have been running my blog, Google has paid me $139.00 for the ads they run.

That will buy me almost exactly one day's rehab at this no doubt fabulous program.

Can't wait.

In the meantime, I'll take another double, Glass Wipe...

ASK A BETTER QUESTION

Ottawa will expand prisons to suit tough crime laws

The headline hides the story.

It is easy to choose sides when complex matters are reduced to such simple battles.

More prisons. Tougher laws. Fewer prisons. More compassion.

Since coming to power in 2006, the Harper government has introduced several justice proposals that would increase the use of mandatory minimum sentences, end house arrests and eliminate a judge's ability to credit a prisoner with two days served for every one spent in pretrial custody in calculating sentences.

All of which would add to the seemingly reasonable argument that we need more prisons.

Many people, myself included, want seriously dangerous criminals off the streets and behind bars for long, long periods.

On the other hand, most jurisdictions in America that have increased prison populations have had to admit defeat. They simply do not have the money to pay for more and more inmates in more and more lock-ups.

I would suggest that in Canada we probably have most of the prisons that we need. What we do not have, what we have rarely had (and I spent 10 years working in the corrections system) was reasonable programs that would separate the merely goofy from the truly scary.

Most inmates in our prisons are more of a danger to themselves than to any one else. They make lousy, stupid choices. They could actually be helped. They could be turned around and turned back out onto the street if we bothered to work with them and provide transition programs on the outside that worked.

Than there are the (what? possibly 10%) inmates who are flat crazy, scary, nuts. These guys are a running constant serious danger to everything and everyone. They are not hard to spot. These guys should be in prison for life. Our first consideration in their cases must be the protection and safety of the community.

Unfortunately, in spite of all the classification and parole officers and all the shrinks and docs, we simply do a lousy job of responding appropriately to these two very different kinds of prisoners.

When we get around to that real responsibility, the arguments about how big our fortresses need be will disappear.

p.s. The foto shows the B.C. Penitentiary being built in...wait for it...1877. The site in new Westminster is now condos.

Quote of the Day/Marketing 101

"I want you to give the world a hug..."

John Furlong, VANCO, CEO

Stop Resisting - University of Western Ontario

Progress on Hold

A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

Neither Bardwell nor the couple immediately returned phone calls from The Associated Press. But Bardwell told the Daily Star of Hammond that he was not a racist.

"I do ceremonies for black couples right here in my house," Bardwell said. "My main concern is for the children."

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

"I don't do interracial marriages because I don't want to put children in a situation they didn't bring on themselves," Bardwell said. "In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer."

If he does an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

"I try to treat everyone equally," he said.

A LIL COUNTRY

THE OLYMPIC PLAN

Remember Cambie Street?

Deja vu.

It's not often that I am shocked, especially by the predictably idiocy of bureaucrats and politicians.

But yesterday, I caught just enough of the local supper hour news to almost fall off the sofa.

In the morning I had enjoyed a coffee with an old friend at the corner of 65th and Granville. Of course, I parked the car right in front.

No, sir.

That will no longer be possible, sir.

You see we're staging the 2010 Olympics and every one's life must be disrupted and every one's small mom-and-pop business must suffer irrevocably.

Because you are not important and the small businesses that we like to say are the backbone of our economy are not really important either. We just like to say that because it sounds good at rubber chicken lunches and on news bites.

The news is that during that now hateful affair next February, that Event That Surpasses All Other Events, there will be no parking allowed 29 hours a day, 12 days a week on Granville Street from 16th Avenue south to the Arthur Laing Bridge. None. Zero.

I watched a couple talk about the $200,000+ they lost before they abandoned their shop on Cambie Street during the hideous Cut and Cover Caper. So they smartly moved to Granville around 65th. Now they face exactly the same nightmarish scenario.

Now, here is the voice of authority to the rescue.

"First of all, leaving your vehicle behind is absolutely fundamental," Penny Ballem, City of Vancouver manager and a board member with the Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010 Games, said in issuing a plea for public support.

Oh yah?

Tell me, Penny.

As a VANOC board member, won't you be given a pass or a limo or some other exemption that permits you to dart about the city with impunity?

You betcha.

"Transportation is key to the success of the Games," Dr. Ballem said at a news conference. She reminded people that "you can walk across the core of Vancouver" in about 25 minutes, and planners are hoping a lot of people will do just that during the Olympics.

Isn't that nice.

Thanks a whole bunch, Penny. Walking across the city in a driving rainstorm in February is exactly what we all want to do to help out this act of totalitarianism.

There are those among you who are patiently waiting for "the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Please be advised that something way bigger will be here and on schedule in February. Further note that if Jesus does make it, he may not get downtown because of the the roadblocks and traffic restrictions. Remember, ye devout, that we have out priorities here.

And speaking of age-old values, we are told by Dr. Ballem and others of the Privileged Set, that "co-operation" is the key.

Co-operation? Hahahahaha...

Have any of these bozos actually tried to negotiate local traffic lately.

Here's two quick snapshots of The Co-operators.

One: I'm driving east along Columbia in New West Tuesday afternoon heading to the Royal Columbian Hospital to see a friend who is recovering very nicely thank you from open heart surgery. Just before you get to the hospital, Columbia splits off into Columbia on the left and Burentte on the right, heading to the freeway. Some poor sap in front of me is in the wrong lane and wants to turn over to the Burnette lane. He has his turn signal on. He's at the front of the line. But, OH NOT YOU DON'T. The driver of the 18-wheeler monster rig keeps nudging and nudging so as to not let him in. Very sick. Very disturbing. Very co-operative.

Two: Yesterday afternoon about 3:30, I am walking across Broadway at Spruce, near Oak Street. Five lanes of traffic stop for me to cross, as they are required to by law. As is common courtesy. But the nice man in the Hummer who sees me from more than a third of a block away and has only to slow down while I step past him would SIMPLY NOT HAVE THAT, SUCKER! Lunatic boy screams past me imitating a great matador who can have the bull pass so close to him that a horn picks a button off the man's costume.

Yes, we are a nation and a town of Great Co-operators, Penny.

Like that's really going to happen to make the Olympic Visitation a real sweet pleasure.

Yes, I am really leaving town.

No, I am not renting out my house.

My home - Vancouver - has already been rented out by Gordon Campbell to the IOC.

You know what I want to know about the Olympics?

Nothing.

I will be Elsewhere, and I won't be watching TV.

I will be eating great food and walking and drinking real espresso and talking with friends and reading and writing and all the lovely people with slats of wood tied to their feet can careen down snowy slopes all they want.

If you can't escape, I suggest you go to a case lot sale at your local supermarket and stock up.

Hibernation will be the ticket.

UGLY IS AS UGLY DOES

The B.C. government has found a wonderful old-fashioned way to justify cutting funds from social and medical programs.

"You can't have that, 'cause everyone will want it, so there!"

The fancy name they give this meanness is "service equalization."

On Vancouver Island, the Health Authority needs to cut $45 Million from their budget. (The new Canada Line cost $133 Million per kilometre vs. $13 Million they could have spent on Light Rail. The Olympics? Don't even ask.)

So, here is a partial list of what's going:

Fewer operations, reduced diagnostic services, higher parking fees. There's a hiring freeze and an overtime ban. Properties will be sold and two residential care homes will close.

If a support service for parents is available in Victoria but not in Powell River, the Victoria program is being cut. Meals on Wheels will no longer be delivered for free to some shut-ins because others pay a fee.

The same principle means less money for therapy for adults with mental illness and peer counselling programs for those struggling with addictions.

Peer counselling for addicts is just about the cheapest, not to mention the most effective approach to addictions that we have. Cutting funds is cutting your own throat.

And Meals on Wheels?

Hahahaha...

Gordon Campbell is clearly going out of his way to be the new poster boy for The Grinch.

Incorruptable Cop Not Wanted Here

Immigration Canada has much to answer for.

While they do an admirable job processing thousands of new people arriving from all over the world and swearing in new and valuable citizens with regularity, they make some colossal errors.

Usually we are made aware of the criminals and nut jobs they welcome.

But today, the Globe has focused on a troubling case in which a policeman from Mexico has fled to Canada with his family under death threats.

We don't believe him. We, being Canada.

Do you still travel to Mexico?

I don't.

Murder is practically the national sport.

Drug and sex murders are daily past times.

And that includes in luxury "protected" resorts.

In the age of the iPhone and Google, how long exactly would it take to verify this man's claim that returning to Mexico would constitute a death sentence?

CHUZTPAH REDEFINED

Taser International says their gun didn't kill Robert Dziekanski.

TV OR NOT TV

Toronto high schools are being hustled by a group of con artists who want to put TV screens in their hallways.

Of course, ads will appear.

Of course, ad people would love to get their claws on all that young consumer flesh.

Of course, schools are strapped for cash. This is Canada, remember. So, of course, schools are tempted.

Bad idea. Very bad idea.

I watch TV.

I don't watch the nature channel or CBC or pubic television.

I watch sports (NFL football, tennis and golf), comedy (Seinfeld re-runs, which I have seen now at least 20 times per episode), and the occasional dramamine or movie.

I do not expect TV to educate or enlighten me.

I get from TV exactly what I want - escape from my troubles.

I relax. My feeble mind wanders. I daydream. I sing. I eat food. I talk on the phone. I snooze.

Schools need books and teachers and yes, even computers. They also need art supplies and sports equipment.

Governments should pay for these.

If your government is not, then hassle the living daylights out of them.

I will not watch a video screen "installation" in an art gallery.

The medium is the message.

TV is not art.

It is shopping and silliness and that's just fine...

As long as it's not foisted on children who should be using their actual minds during school hours.

RIM Me...I'm waiting

"Love the journey."

That's the new ad campaign for my favorite thing in the whole world, the ubiquitous Blackberry.

Every website has their ads.

The Globe has not one but two full pagers.

No question, the Research in Motion (RIM) folks who have paid for these spots can be proud. This is boss advertising.

However...

There are still some of us around who are old enough to remember when getting RIMmed really meant something.

Granny Shmammy

The Vancouver Sun has the most curious article this morning.

The headline reads:

"Nanny, granny or secondary suites are key for home ownership in Metro Vancouver"

After explaining the obvious - rental income helps pay the mortgage - the piece goes on to tell us how the City of Vancouver encourages such accommodations.

Huh?

There is a house a block away from me that is for sale.

Asking price $2.2 Million.

Brand new.

But the so-called basement has a bathroom, the laundry and one useless square dungeon of a room.

That is because the City won't allow people on the West Side to build full basements that might be - oh, the horror! - rented - egad! - out.

It's a puzzlement.

Jacques Brel, Nina Simone & Piaf...Now Barbra

Ka-Ching!

Rio beat out Chicago for the 2016 Olympics.

A Globe editorial reports the following:

"Rio de Janeiro, one of the most violent cities in the world (2,069 murders last year), with crumbling transportation infrastructure and a ramshackle airport, surrounded by impoverished and drug-ridden ghettos, will be expected to host a seamless Games and accompanying tourist experience, at an estimated cost of $15-billion.

It must simultaneously find a way to double current hotel space to 50,000 rooms.

Of course, the $15-billion estimate is likely conservative. The budget for the 30th Olympiad in London has already quadrupled - from the original $3.3-billion to $15.4-billion (Can.). And the Games are still three years away."

Murders and drug-ridden ghettos.

And these games will help matters how?