The Sound of...?

The votes are in.

Thank you bloggists.

99% of you prefer the written word here to the audiofile. In other words, our audiophile isn't such.

I will do both on and off as I see fit for the next little while. When I've improved the mike and sound...well, we'll see.

Meanwhile, thanks for your feedback.

Close Encounters of the Furry Kind

Hello mensche.

You may remember the days I describe below. Listen with your heart. Here is my story for today.

Today, a squirrel visited me, peering into my kitchen window from my porch rail . He was, perhaps, a great-great-great grandchild from a cherished time. I looked at him, sipped my tea, and remembered.

Drift back with me, 40 some years. A time when life kissed your skin every morning. And you never kissed it back. Because, like me, you thought life's morning kiss was only a pillow away. Now we know. Not so.

Remember.

When I was in university, vigorous and vacuous, ( weren't we all) I lived in a series of depressing hovels. One was a house full of students with a biker landlord who had heinous doberman we hated. The house had a closed back porch and the dobie would sleep, growl and drool on that porch, lunging at us (me) when we stumbled, drunkenly, up the back steps at 2 am. We would fall. We really hated that dog.

One day, I was studying in the kitchen, a communal slop house where all 19 students ate by stealing each other's food from a common fridge. The porch was visible outside the kitchen window. On that day I looked up from my books to see the demonic dobie corner a squirrel on the porch. He crowded the squirrel into the corner, closer and closer. There was a clothes pin basket in the deepest part of the corner. The dog came closer. I put down my sandwich and thought, "poor little squirrel". The squirrel jumped into the little basket of clothes pins, his last refuge before death by dobie. The squirrel trembled.

Then he jumped out.! He went for the dobie's lower lip and bit hard. His 4 claws raked the jaw. The dobie screamed ( dogs do that) and ran, bleeding and pissing while the squirrel held on and then dropped at a time of his choosing, watching the dobie slip in his own piss. I have, since that day, retained a respect for these pimped out rodents. They are sewer rats in fur coats. Something like politicians.

A boulevardier

When is a Fight not a Fight? When it's "Consensual."

Wasn't it just a week ago that a video of 2 teenage girls fighting furiously was all the rage on the net? The girls were from some woebegotten school in that centre of civilization, Nanaimo. Although the fight was vicious, nothing of consequence followed. That is, no school sanctions, detentions, evictions, talking-tos. Why? Because this was considered a "consensual" fight.

Which is to say, that the school, like most of our public institutions, has abandoned any hope of moral or civic leadership. They don't want to leave their position, frozen in time, of being "nice" and "Caring."

Today's headline is all about a 13-year old child dying in a knife fight that took place at 5 in the afternoon on a holiday weekend in front of the Science World.

Was this tragedy a result of a "consensual" fight? You bet. Relativism at its best.

And what consequence will flow as readily as this child's blood?

No doubt we will perform circus acts of elasticity in "understanding" the little shit who did the stabbing.

The grief counsellors have already parachuted in, as have the criminoligists, citing the "low statistical probability" of such an event, which is, no doubt, of tremendous help to the family.

Not far away, on the same remote planet, the police wanting to take down a protester, disguised themselves as a reporter for "24 Hours," thus, in one swell foop, disgracing themselves and the media. Nice work, boys.

Meanwhile, the Supreme Court is about to consider the case of "Chief," the wonder-dog, who sniffed and found drugs in school kids' backpacks. No matter that the drugs are illegal and harmful and that they have no place in the school environment. The "issue" is that Chief may have put his little paws all over the children's Charter Rights.

Amen.

Gone sailing...

There are 3 reasons (spurious at best) for this short, written post this morning:

First, I don't know about you, Kids, but I didn't see a thing in the news that caught my attention. CSIS knew there was going to be a bombing on Air India. The Premier gets a 54% pay raise. The mayor hires a politico to do a job that can't and won't be done and is unnecessary, and he can't say what the salary or terms of reference of the job are even though he's the guy who did the deal. Wolfowitz finally quits. Bush and Blair are still kissing and smiling.

In other words, same old, same old.

Second, I've noticed that my numbers of hits and visitors on the blog have declined precipitously (and I can't even say, "precipitously!") since I started doing the audio thing.

Is it the quality of the audio? Is it my shrieky teenage voice? Do you prefer the written word? Have you finally realized what an old crank I really am?

And Finally (YEAH! YEAH!), I off to Winnipeg early tomorrow morning for the 90th birthday of a good friend, which means that I won't be posting anything over the long weekend.

In the meantime, you could COMMENT and tell me how you feel about the AUDIO versus the WRITING and so on.

Here's what I hope. I hope the next 4 days are sunny and warm wherever you may be and that you enjoy the good company of people whom you consider good company.

Back on Tuesday. Salute! Che vediamo! Ciao....

WE JUST MONKEY AROUND

Nessun Dorma - Placido Domingo

and speaking of old chestnuts...

Posting Late Today

Off to an early meeting this morning. The real deal will arrive in a few hours...

ENCOUNTER

JERRY'S STAR

Ozomatli

Here's a fun and lively piece from a group I've just learned about from "Crookks and Liars." This'll get your m orning going...

Another Guest Editorial from V.

The lady and the tiger episode resulted in a horrid tragedy, witnessed by her children. William Blake told us, 200 years ago, about the complex disposition of Mother Nature. "Tiger, tiger burning bright". We never learn.

We did learn in the ensuing media coverage ( responsible I might add) that owing to variances in municipal bylaws, people who want to keep a tiger,puma, rhino in their backyard or basement need only to take their menacing menagerie to the next town that lacks bylaws if things get ornery.

The solution, we are told, is for the province to ban the practice of keeping exotic ( can you say killer) animals. Ban. Outright. Sounds good.

Then we hear from the Minister of Agriculture and Fools. Pat Dumbell.

His solution is to "license keepers of killer ( sorry, exotic) animals and perhaps requiring them to have training".

Out of the pool, somebody peed!

See, here's the deal.

First, licensing is government code for revenue. It's code for inspectors as in bigger government. Hello? We will never collect revenue from a muscle-shirt cavemen who wants to keep a lion in the living room. Can you say ban!

Second, Mr. muscle-shirt will not attend training and if he does, who will train him. Who will pay for the trainers?

No matter the crisis, government's first impulse is to look for a revenue opportunity, offset by a bigger government response.

Note to government.

Nobody wants tigers in the basement.

Ban! Simple. The legislation would be less than a paragraph. No extra bureaucrats involved in inspecting, training and issuing fines. Your cleaning lady could write the law

Last word. Today, on the Big Flea ( Top Dog) I heard a lady from the American SPCA say " There are more Indian Tigers in American basements than living in the jungles of India".

Oi vey!

The madness continues.

Cheers

A boulevardier

Guest Editorial from V.

When watching Tim Dailey's riff on the arrogance of New York's priapic slogan, I couldn't help but think about British Columbia's modest official motto, no less, "The Greatest Place on Earth"." Oh really", I whispered. " Sorry I wasted money on world travel."

I live with a Chinese woman. She saw this slogan one day and asked if we really believed that.

Think of it. China. Five time zones. Deserts to tropics. Temples to mega malls. I blushed. I said I had only visited a mere 41 countries and I wasn't sure but maybe somebody in Victoria knows something I don't. I added that since 49 per cent of the people in Vancouver are visible minorities, I hope they don't feel ashamed of their homeland just because we have a wanker's slogan. She assured me that she will still love her birth country and that perhaps there should not be a competition where we declare ourselves in first place.

We love to diss the "Ugly American".

But could you imagine standing up in a cafe in Venice, Lyon, Brussels, Vienna or Stockholm and announce to the patrons.

" Hi, I'm a modest Canadian from British Columbia and I live in the GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH. Aren't you dorks sorry that you live in inferior places? Now let's drink beer and watch hockey."

Maybe before 2010,when the world visits BC, we might consider a slogan with a little modesty. Does Greece have a motto that says " We brought democracy to inferior, sweating classes". Would Iraq have a slogan that said " We had medical schools when Europeans were living with their pigs." Does China have a 2008 slogan that says " Your grandchildren's income depends on our economy and by the way, we were a magnificent culture when your race had bones in your noses."

Or maybe BC First Nations could adopt a slogan such as " You separated us from Nature, but we never signed a separation agreement."

David, if you have a media mailing list, please pass this on. In BC today, the oracle is Bill Goo. I call him BobbleBill. . Why? Because he bounces from radio, to TV, to BC business without anybody stopping to say, " Bobblebill has a shiny surface but he's either dense or empty". Pick both.

A Boulevardier

A NOBEL FOR THE MAYOR

Audio Rant Below

Brian Williams, Kate Couric, Stone Philips, Hudson Mack, Air India, Parks Canada, Checks & Balances and the very, very teensy tiny Bush Library...

Broadcasters Et Al

The News From Venice

CURIO. "Closed for depression". This is the curiosity-provoking notice thatappears on the newspaper kiosk along Fondamente Nove in Venice. Beneath the signis an explanation -- the news dealer claims that he's had a nervous breakdown."I can't go on," he says. "I have to give tourists hundreds of bits ofinformation every day, responding to the most cockeyed queries. An example?Where is the pink castle? (the Doge's Palace). Where is the bus stop for Murano?(Murano is an island). Where is Fontana di Trevi? (Fontana di Trevi is inRome)." The explanation continues with irony and humour but also cogency: "I amone of many Venetians who is the victim of tourism, trading in a commodity thatuses my time but provides no source of income. Ask my nerves!" Other shopkeepersare more practical. They display signs saying "No info, please."Wish to comment on this article? http://blog.buongiornovenezia.com

***WELCOME TO THE NEW AUDIO BLOG ***

The audio file below is my first official audio posting for the blog.

The subject is a very typical Berner rant about various concerns about driving, texting, children, socialization, isolation, and multi-culturalism.

The microphone and sound quality will soon improve.

Happy Sunday Driving

James Taylor and Carole King

In honor of Mother's day, everybody is playing Carole King's "You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman," but I thought this classic take with James and Carole together was so lovely...

HALLELUJAH!

The 3 Filemobile posts below are all test runs.

The good news is that the one immediately below is my first successful effort in recording from a mike attached to the computer and uploading the finished piece directly to the blog.

May this be the start of something grand!