Oscar Peterson Was in Awe of Him. Rachmaninoff said he was the greatest piano player he ever heard

HEE-HAW

Let me see if I've got this right.

John van Dongen is the Solicitor-General of the Province of British Columbia.

He is responsible for the police, the courts and ICBC, among other small matters.

In short, he is Top Cop.

And he cannot drive a car these days because

a)he has speeding tickets;

and b)he has unpaid speeding tickets.

And the Premier, Gordon Campbell in defending this idiocy, casually downgrades the speeding tickets to parking tickets, a cute little bit of verbal jujitsu if there ever was one.

Let's begin by pointing out to the fellow who wants to be your premier for the 3d unbearable time that parking tickets arrive on your windshield when you leave your car somewhere it doesn't belong at that time. A relatively innocuous offense against obscure and usually nonsensical taxing laws that can barely be justified at the best of times.

Whereas, your Honour, speeding tickets come about when you are madly racing through public corridors at dangerous high velocities way in excess of what may be good for the common weal.

One would think that if anyone should know the wrongness of such behaviour, it would be Mr. Top Cop.

Oh, but wait.

We forgot. He is special. He is John van Donkey, Special person.

And his deep need to catch the ferry boat and get back to his little life in Abbotsford far precludes all other community needs, like say, life and limb.

The Premier Personage says this will all blow over and that van Donkey should be congratulated for braying loudly and publicly what a bad boy he is.

I, like many of you, am of a different mind.

I think that this selfish fool should be denied the opportunity to disgrace another government portfolio after May 12th.

I don't hold out much hope for this to transpire. No doubt the good and faithful of Abbotsford are forgiving and forgetful souls and The Donkey will ride again.

Good Investments

A million human beings face starvation in Sudan, in Darfur. Aid workers have been expelled from the country.

There is hardly a greater testimony to the painful failures of the United Nations to even begin to approach its forming ideals.

Of course, you cannot say, "Stop. This billion dollar farce is taking us nowhere, except the best lunch rooms in Manhattan."

But cannot some men and women of good will strip this body back to its essentials and make it something effective and praise-worthy?

Yesterday, we are told by full page ads in papers across the nation, was WORLD MALARIA DAY.

Every 30 seconds, a child in Africa dies of malaria. A $10 bed net will help. Here's the web address for your donation.

So many billions of taxpayers dollars in America, Canada, the UK, Germany are going to bolster wars and skirmishes in countries around the world. Cannot we not divert some of these questionable investments in healthy children and families in suffering regions?

RIP Bea Arthur

You MUST Pay the Rent

Way cleared for 38% hike in heritage apartment rent

Decision highlights flaws in law and will allow landlords to drive up rents, critics say

This is an important article as far as it goes.

But what it doesn't tell the reader is "Why?"

What was the reasoning that the Residential Tenancy Branch used in making this onerous and very bad decision?

I am guessing that the argument was parity with neighbouring buildings.

How would you like to see your rent on a 2-bedroom flat in an old building climb overnight from $1300 to $1800?

On the shopping street in my neighbourhood, mom and pop stores open and close almost daily. There is only one reason. Landlords jack the rent so far out of reach, people just walk away. One storefront remained empty for over a year and half until the owner found someone brave enough or stupid enough to dive in.

What, if anything, do our benighted governments do about these continuing iniquities?

Nothing that I've noticed.

Justice

He was racing through Richmond streets at speeds in excess of 130 k/hr.

His name is Stuart Chan.

He killed RCMP officer Jimmy Ng.

He got two years for criminal negligence and he was released on parole after eight months.

He promised that he would talk to teens about the dangers of street racing.

Hahahahaha...it is to weep.

Of course, none of that has happened.

Now, the world turns to Wally Opaque for justice.

Hahahaha...it is to throw up.

"Well, we trusted a liar," says Wally.

Can we call this "projection?"

Knock, Knock

Wondering what VANOC's Integrated Security Unit have been doing with the millions they will spend in the coming months?

Simple.

They are visiting old men who kvetch about The Games.

Peter Scott is 73, he lives in Surrey and he often sends clippings from the newspapers to public figure with his comments scribbled on the side.

We like to call that, FREE SPEECH.

But that Orwellian Big Brother known as VANOC has other ideas.

Read the entire frightening anti-democratic story here.

Excuse me...there's someone pounding at the front door...

Fascinating Rhythm

Most movie reviews are unreadable bought-and-paid-for shill jobs.

The moment you see the word "triumph," this should be your cue to go running at top speed to anywhere else.

But every so often, you read a piece about a new release and you say, "O.K. Now there's a flick I've got to see.

Check out A.O. Scott's item in this morning's NY Times on James Toback's documentary film, "Tyson."

The article includes video clips.

Looks darn good.

Taser Murder

"The RCMP has admitted that it gave wrong information to the public about the circumstances of Polish immigrant Robert Dziekanski's death. But the force has denied that it lied or suppressed information about the disturbing circumstances of Mr. Dziekanski's death."

Among the highlights of this enormously helpful update is this:

"Sgt. Lemaitre also told reporters in October, 2007, that police tasered Mr. Dziekanski twice, when in fact at least four shocks were delivered. And in another news briefing that month, Sgt. Lemaitre told a reporter there was no video of the event, even though he had already viewed it."

Misinformation, yes.

Lying, no.

Difference?

Search me...

PRIORITIES, PART 3,876,021

Soldiers and mounties defending our right to luge in freedom will bunk down on cruise ships during The Big Party.

Cost?

$56 Million.

Gordon Campbell and George Abbott have announced that the 5,000 care beds they originally announced - and never came remotely near to providing - were actually a semantic error.

It's all in the word, you see.

Who Buys Retail?

Mountain Equipment Co-op, where people who never leave their neighbourhoods can buy North Face jackets to keep themselves warm over lattes, will have an interesting AGM next week.

It is strongly rumored that some one or two will table a resolution to boycott Israeli products.

BC Teachers for Global Peace and Education has been cited as a possible supporter of such a resolution. (I'm still waiting for BC Teachers for Teaching English and Math Skills That'll Pass Muster in First year University.)

The Company will most likely ignore this move and continue to sell Israeli underwear. Oy vay!

Our battles are ever so civil, don't you know?

Is that the brown sugar on your table?

Just call me "LIbel."

On April 5th, I posted an item called Triangulation. It was about the strange confluence of people who just happen to know and see each other a lot. Their names are Gordon Campbell, Patrick Kinsella, David MacLean and Martyn Brown.

CN Rail, BC Rail and a few other small considerations play somewhere in this mystery.

This morning I learn that Kinsella is threatening to sue Carole James and her posse for defamation.

Apparently the NDP have been asking difficult questions about these very same confusions.

Of course, so has every columnist and broadcaster worth his salt.

Kinsella is perfectly right, of course, to defend and protect his reputation.

But shooting the messenger is the oldest tactic in the book.

Real information from Kinsella would be much more re-assuring, but no one is holding his breath.

Jump Start

The Olympics are so rigid, so far up their own flewbarbs, so out-of-step that women ski jumpers have had to resort to a law suit to achieve their goal of being allowed to compete in 2010.

They accuse VANOC of violating their Charter rights.

They are exactly correct.

VANOC claims this is all on the hands of the IOC and that if it granted women the equal opportunity to participate, that the IOC would never award another games to Canada.

They are exactly wrong.

In addition to being morally bankrupt.

If they led the way and allowed women to participate as they should, the IOC would simply be embarrassed into continuing the trend world-wide.

I mean, really...sometimes you wake up and think it's 1843.

(You can sign the petition here.)

Fly Me to the Moon

YVR Airport Services Ltd. is a local success story.

At last count, 18 airports in seven countries under its management.

But the tale of its latest setback is an indicator of just how tight money is world-wide, even for what looks like sure-fire investments.

A landmark $2.5-billion (U.S.) deal to privatize Chicago's Midway Airport has collapsed after a consortium of Citigroup Inc., C Manulife Financial Corp.'s MFC John Hancock arm and Vancouver's YVR Airport Services Ltd. couldn't find investors to fund the acquisition.

Read the whole story here.

United Nations

That paragon of virtue and clarity and love for all mankind, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is scheduled to highlight the plenary address at a UN conference on Racism in Switzerland.

The Iranian President's speech is set for Holocaust Remembrance Day.

The man has publicly called many, many times for the destruction of Israel.

The good folks at the UN, or at least, their schedulers, must have a very deep sense of humour.

Australia, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Germany, Britain, the United States and Italy are among the countries who have politely excused themselves from this dark comedy.

Orwell is alive and well.

Wheels Goes Round

It's Monday.

Must be time for another Kelly Ellard- Reena Virk trial.

Nice to know our prosecution teams and our juries and judges are all doing such a fine job.

Here's the really good part.

If the Supreme Court orders a new trail, guess who gets to decide if we should proceed or let Ellard, already convicted a few dozen times (I exaggerate!), plead guilty to something of a lesser charge, like crossing a bridge without a license?

That's right.

The man posing as the Attorney-General, that famed holder of all the high gold standards of justice in this province - the transparent one, Monseigneur Opaque.

Mason Hammers It

Below are four paragraphs taken from Gary Mason's column on BC politics published in yesterday's Globe & Mail. I can only add please read the entire piece. Esepcially the part about Patrick Kinsella's business partner being granted a gaming license. It is simply one of the best things written recently about the tenuous state of what passes for democracy in this logging camp.

The very sight of simple-minded geeks happily spending their Saturday afternoons nailing up Gordon Campbell signs on their auto-sprinklered lawns makes me sick. What's worse is that the fools smile at us as we pass. Soon we turn to each other and say, "Those sticks will be good for peas or green beans in a few weeks."


Friends of government, friends of the Premier, people who have played pivotal behind-the-scenes roles with the governing Liberal party can do all manner of lobbyist-like work and not have to tell a soul.

Beyond that, Mr. Kinsella has done consulting work for a dizzying number of private companies, work which has put him in touch with government officials. Yet he has never registered with the provincial registrar of lobbyists because, he says, his work doesn't meet the legal definition of lobbying. Yet, he appears to be doing exactly the same type of work that most registered lobbyists are doing.

When the provincial registrar of lobbyists attempted to investigate Mr. Kinsella's activities, the Liberal insider refused to co-operate. And that was the end of that.

The Liberals have been promising over the last few years to toughen up the province's lobbyist laws but nothing has happened. It would appear they're in no hurry to upset friends making millions in the lobbying business.

Straight Nails It

B.C. Liberals say a $2-billion project is "on-budget"; it was $1.5 to $1.7 billion

By Charlie Smith

For years, I would have to write that a transit project linking downtown Vancouver, Richmond and the airport would cost $1.5 billion to $1.7 billion.

I knew that the figure had been lowballed. But I didn't have a choice because TransLink repeatedly used this $1.5-billion to $1.7-billion figure in news releases concerning what was then known as the Richmond-Airport-Vancouver line. It's now called the Canada Line.

Five years ago, the credit-rating agency Standard & Poor's also suggested there was "cost overrun potential" on the the $1.5-billion to $1.7-billion RAV line.

“The RAV project is a large, lengthy, and ambitious undertaking with cost overrun potential given the long-term and technologically complex nature of the construction project,” Standard & Poor’s stated.

Of course, the costs did go up. Now, the public is being quoted a $2-billion figure for a project that was expected to be built with a bored tunnel that would result in minimal intrusion on local merchants.

The $2-billion line includes 16 stations. The original $1.5-billion to $1.7-billion line was going to include 17 stations.

Of course, higher costs contributed to a decision to go instead with a cut-and-cover tunnel, which obstructed traffic and contributed to the bankruptcies of several businesses on Cambie Street.

So what does the B.C. Liberal platform say about the Canada Line?

It's "on-budget".

Gimme a break.

THE GOOD LIFE

Last Year's Runner-Up